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THE REAL OLD TIME RELIGION
tune: "Old Time Religion"
(Chorus): Give me that real old time religion (3X)
It's good enough for me!
We will have a mighty orgy We will sacrifice to Yuggoth
in the honour of Astarte we will sacrifice to Yuggoth
it'll be a mighty party Burn a candle for Yog-Soggoth
and it's good enough for me! and the Goat With a Thousand Young!
We will all be saved by Mithras If your rising sign is Aries
We will all be saved by Mithras You'll be taken by the Fairies
slay the Bull and play the zithras Meet the Buddah in Benares
on that Resurrection Day! where he'll hit you with a pie!
I hear Valkyries a-comin There are people into Voodoo
In the air their song is comin there are people into Voodoo
They forgot the words! They're hummin! I know I do, I hope you do!
But they're good enough for me! and it's good enough for me!
We will venerate Bubastis We will read from the Kabahlah
We will venerate Bubastis We will read from the Kabahlah
If you want in, then just ast us! It won't get us to Valhalla
'cause that's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
We will all bow down to Enlil There are some who practice Shinto
We will all bow down to Enlil there are some who practice Shinto
Pass your Cup and get a refill! there's no telling what WE'RE into!
With bold Gilgamesh the Brave! but that's good enough for me!
We will all see Aphrodite We will all sing Hare Krishna
Though she's pretty wild and flighty We will all sing Hare Krishna
She will meet us in her nightie It's not mentioned in the Mishna
And she's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
It was good enough for Loki We will all go to Nirvana
It was good enough for Loki We will all go to Nirvana
He thinks Thor's a little hokey Make a left turn at Urbana
and that's good enough for me! And you'll see the Promised Land!
Here's to those who copy Conan There will be a lot of lovin
Here's to those who copy Conan when we're meetin in our Coven
They're just Followers of Onan Quit yer pushin and yer shovin
and that's good enough for me! So there's room enough for me!
We will have a mighty Party It was good enough for Sappho
In the honor of Astarte With her lady on her lap-o
Grab your chiton - don't be tardy She put Lesbos on the map-o
'Cause she's good enough for me! With her pagan poetry!
Shall we sing a verse for Venus, Well the Christians all are humming
Of the Gods she is the meanest, Cause they say their God is coming,
Cause she bit me on my...elbow Our God came three times this evening
And it's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me.
20 verses (more)
2
"That Real Old-Time Religion" (Extra verses)
We will worship like the Druids, Some guys have a circumcision
Drinking strange fermented fluids, On account of their religion,
Running naked through the woo-ids, An embarrassing incision
Coz that's good enough for me. Cut just ENOUGH from me!
We will sing a verse for Loki It was good for old Jehovah
He's the old Norse god of Chaos He had a son who was a nova!
Which is why this verse don't Hey there, Mithras! Move on ova'!
rhyme or scan or nothin' Another resurrection Day!
But it's good enough for me...
It was good for Thor and Odin It could be that you're a Parsi
It was good for Thor and Odin It could be that you're a Parsi
Grab an axe and get your woad on! Don't need a ticket; you get in free
and it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Azahoth is in his Chaos Just like Carlos Castenada
Azahoth is in his Chaos Just like Carlos Castenada
Now if only he don't sway us It'll get you sooner or later
That is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
If you think that you'll be sav-ed Jerry Falwell thinks he's sav-ed
If you think that you'll be sav-ed In a lamb's blood he's been lav-ed
If you follow Mogen David And HE thinks that I'M deprav-ed
Then that's good enough for me! But that's good enough for me...
We will sing to Lady Isis We will all bow down to Dagon
She'll stand by us in a crisis We will all bow down to Dagon
And She hasn't raised Her prices He still votes for Ronald Reagan
And She's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
There are those who, when they've got e-
Normous problems that are knotty
They just take them to Hecate Thanks to great Quetzacoatl
And that's good enough for me! And his sacred axolotl
And his gift of chocolatl
Was a time, so I've heard tell, a And please pass some down to me!
Fine and promising young fella
Gave his all to serve Cybele
But that's damn well not for me!
Well, she raised an awful flurry When old Gerald got it goin'
When she made the scholars worry When old Gerald got it goin'
Thank the Gods for Margaret Murray! All that hidin' turned to showin'
She is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We'll sing praises to Apollo When we all bowed down to Nuit
Where the Sun-God leads, I'll follow There was really nothin' to it
From Ionia to Gaul-o (Alex Sanders made me do it...)
And that's good enough for me! But that's good enough for me!
Let us sing the praise of Horus We went off to worship Venus
As our fathers did before us By the Gods! You should have seen us!
We're the New Egyptian Chorus Now the Clinic has to screen us...
And we sing in harmony! But that's good enough for me!
41 verses (more)
3
"That Real Old Time Religion:" Extra Verses
It was good enough for Granny It's not good enough for Reagan
She could throw a double-whammy It's not good enough for Reagan
That would knock you on your fanny He's too square to be a Pagan!
And she's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will gather at our saunas Meeting at the Witching Hour
When the spirit comes upon us By the Bud, and Branch and Flower
To perform the Rites of Faunus Folks are raising up the Power
And that's good enough for me! And that's where I want to be!
We will worship mighty Cthulhu In the sky I hear a hummin'
H. P. Lovecraft's big old hoodoo It's the UFO's a-comin'
(1930's fiction voodoo....) That's not banjos that they're strummin'
But that's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
Oh the Phillistines abound Oh we all will follow Buddah
Oh the Phillistines abound Oh we all will follow Buddah
They had the biggest Baals around And we'll eat no food but Gouda
And that's good enough for me! Which is Gouda-nuff for me
Oh, our Spirits will awaken We'll sing praises to Apollo;
Oh, our Spirits will awaken Where the Sun God leads we'll follow
Watch the Universe a-quakin' ('Though his head's a little hollow) -
Which is Gurdijeff to me! He's good enough for me!
Let us raise a toast to Bacchus, We will worship Great Cthulhu,
We will raise a royal ruckus, We will worship Great Cthulhu,
Then we'll lay us down and f**k us And we'll feed him Mr. Sulu
That's good enough for me. 'Cause that's good enough for me!
It was good enough for Buddha, We all worshipped Dionysus
As a god he's kinda cute-a, 'Till we ran into a crisis -
And he comes in brass or pewta' The bar had raised its prices;
So he's good enough for me! That's not good enough for me.
Uncle Crowley was a dreamer We will go and sing "Hosanna"
At the Abbey of Thelemer To our good ol' pal, Gautama,
But his magic is a screamer, He will never flim or flam ya',
So it's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me!
Oh we'll all be Fundamental When the clouds they are a'rumbling
And be Holy Testamental And the thunder is a'grumbling,
And never Trancendental Then it's Crowley that you're mumbling,
And that's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me!
There are some that call it folly Shall we sing a verse for Thor,
When we worship Mother Kali. Though he leaves the maidens sore?
She may not be very jolly They always come back for more,
But she's good enough for me. So he's good enough for me!
Shall we sing in praise of Loki, It was good enough for Odin
Though he left poor Midgard smokey? Though the tremblin' got forbodin'
Oh, his sense of humor's hokey, Then the giants finally strode in,
But he's good enough for me. But it's good enough for me.
63 verses ( more )
4
"That Real Old-Time Religion:" Extra Verses
Montezuma liked to start out There's that lusty old Priapus
Rites by carrying a part out He's just itching to unwrap us.
That would really tear your heart out, (He'd do more to us than tap us
But it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!)
We will all bow down to Allah Where's the gong gone? I can't find it
For he gave his loyal follow I think Northwoods is behind it!
Ers the mighty petro-dollah For they've always been cymbal-minded
And that's good enough for me! And they're good enough for me!
I was singing Hari Rama We will pray with those Egyptians
With my friend the Dalai Lama Build pyramids to put our crypts in
'Til they dumped us in the slammer Cover subways with inscriptions,
But that's good enough for me which is good enough for me.....!
One-eyed Odin we will follow We will pray to Zarathustra
And in fighting we will wallow And we'll pray just like we usta
Till we wind up in Valhallow I'm a Zarathustra boosta!
Which is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Hare Krishna gets a laugh on I'll arise at early mornin'
When he sees me dressed in saffron When the Sun gives me the warnin'
With my hair that's only half on That the Solar Age is dawnin'
But that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will sing a verse for Eris Of Great Murphy much is spoken
(Golden apples for the fairest!) For his Law shall not be broken
Though she sometimes likes to scare us It's not pretty when he's woken
But she's good enough for me! Things go wrong for you and me!
We will sing for great Diana If your god of choice is Squat
Who will teach of love and honor Well then trendy, man, you're not -
But you really gotta wanna! But you'll get a parking spot!
'Cause she's tough enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will venerate Bubastis Call Him God, or call him Allah
'Cause my cat walked up and ast us The priest will take your dollah
(Now the cat box is DISASTROUS!) Easy living from -your- follah-
But it's good enough for me! -wers, but sorry, -not- from me!
I'll sing some songs to Lilith, Now Danae was sweet as flowers,
Not so young, and not so girlish, She was into golden showers;
and She's always PMS-ish, And that showed her Zeus' power
but She's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
And what about this Bacchus, Diana is a little spikey
Who lives just to raise a ruckus? And she is a little dyke-ey
Loosens women so they'll f*** us, You don't have to be a Psych-e
Well, that's good enough for me! To know that's right for me!
Lilith wears a lacy nightie That Bob Larson shrieks and hollers
And She is a little flighty Fighting demons in his callers
She will get you all excite-y Save his program: SEND YOUR DOLLARS!
She's wet-dream enough for me! And that's good enough for me.
85 verses (more)
5
"That Real Old-Time Religion:" Extra Verses
With the aid of my athame Well I'm tired of Ronald Reagan,
I can throw a "double-whammy" He's too square to be a pagan,
(And can slice and dice salami!) Let's all vote for Carl Sagan!
So it's good enough for me. He's good enough for me.
We will worship with the Fundies L. Ron Hubbard liked precision
With their itchy hair-shirt undies And he founded a religion
If they don't bring "Mrs. Grundy," That has caught a lot of pigeons
Then it's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me!
We will worship Holy Ford We will worship with the witches
Beta, Delta, Gamma, Lord 'Cause we're rowdy sons-of-bitches
But the Alphas might get bored And they scratch us where it itches
A Brave New World for you and me! And that's good enough for me!
There are those who follow Crowley Some folks pray to the Orishas
Tho the stuff that he held holy Tho their humor can be vishas
Turn your your brain to guacamole When they grant your stupid wishas
But he's good enough for me! But they're good enough for me!
There are those who scream and hollar There are those who worship Satan
And get hot under the collar And are just anticipatin'
For their god, Almighty Dollar, Armageddon's conflagratin'
Who is good enough for me! That ain't good enough for me!
There are those who worship no gods Some folks worship the Kachinas
For they think that there are low odds Some folks worship the Kachinas
That the god-seers aren't drunk sods They look like "deus ex machinas",
But they're good enough for me! But they're good enough for me!
Some folks worship all of Nature We will read from the Cabala.
Tho they love to taunt and bait-cher Quote the Tree of Life mandala
They're just funnin', they don't hate-cher It won't get you in Valhalla,
And they're good enough for me! Yet it's good enough for me.
Some folks pray to the Great Spirit There is room enough in Hades
Most folks just cannot get near it For lots of criminals and shadies
So they hate it and they fear it And disreputable ladies,
But it's good enough for me! And they're good enough for me.
To the tune of Handel's "Largo" Praise to Popacatapetl
We will hymn the gods of cargo Just a tiny cigarette'll
'Til they slap on an embargo Put him in terrific fettle
And that's good enough for me. So he's good enough for me.
We will drive up to Valhalla We will all bow to Hephaestus
Riding Beetles, not Impalas As a blacksmith he will test us
Singing "Deutschland Uber Alles" 'Cause his balls are pure asbestos
And that's good enough for me. So he's good enough for me.
We will sing of Iluvatur, We will sing of Foul the Render,
Who sent the Valar 'cross the water Who's got Drool Rockworm on a bender
To lead Morgoth to the slaughter In his cave in Kiril Threndor--
And that's just fine with me. They're both too much for me.
108 verses (more)
6
"That Real Old-Time Religion:" Extra Verses
We will sing the Jug of Issek, Of Lord Shardik you must beware;
And of Fafhrd his chief mystic, To please him you must swear;
Though to thieving Mouser will stick, 'Cause enraged he's a real Bear,
And that's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me.
You can dance and wave the thyrsos Let us celebrate Jehovah
And sing lots of rowdy verses Who created us "ab ova"
Till the neighbors holler curses, He'll be on tonight on Nova
And that's good enough for me. 'cause he's good enough for me.
We will go to worship Zeus Let us sing to old Discordia
Though his morals are quite loose 'Cause it's sure she's never bored ya
He gave Leda quite a goose And if she's good enough for ya
And he's good enough for me. Then she's good enough for me.
We will sing a song of Mithras Let us sing to Lord Cthuhlu
Let us sing a song of Mithras Don't let Lovecraft try to fool you
But there is no rhyme for Mithras! Or the Elder Gods WILL rule you
Still he's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me.
We will go to worship Kali Let's all listen up to Jesus
She will help us in our folly He says rich folks like old Croesus
She'd be quite an armful, golly! Will be damned until Hell freezes
And she's good enough for me. And that don't sound good to me.
Let us watch Ka.ka.pa.ull Let us do our thing for Eris
Frolic in her swimming pool Goddess of the discord there is
Subjecting chaos to her rule Apple's golden, it's not ferrous
And that's all right with me And that's good enough for me
Of the Old Ones, none is vaster
Even Cthulhu's not his master
I refer to the unspeakable *-----* (well, do YOU want to say it?)
and that's good enough for me
Let us worship old Jehovah Let us sing for Brujaria
All you other gods move ovah Though the blood's a lot less cleaner
Cause the one God's takin' over It's not Christian Santaria
And it's good enough for me So it's good enough for me
Timmy Leary we will sing to We will worship Sun Myung Moon
And the things that he was into Though we know he is a goon.
(Well, at least it wasn't Shinto) All our money he'll have soon.
And that's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me.
We will pray to Father Zeus We will go down to the temple,
In his temple we'll hang loose Sit on mats woven of hemp(le),
Eating roast beef au jus, Try to set a good exemple [sic],
And that's good enough for me. And that's good enough for me.
We will finally pray to Jesus, We will all go to Nirvana
From our sins we hope he frees us, So be sure to mind your manners
Eternal life he guarantees us, Make a left turn at Savannah
And that's good enough for me. And we'll see the Promised Land.
129 verses (more)
7
"That Real Old-Time Religion:" Extra Verses
There are people into voodoo There are followers of Conan.
Africa has raised a hoodoo And you'll never hear 'em groaning
Just one little doll will do you Followed Crom up to his throne(in)
And it's good enough for me. And it's good enough for me
We all worship Aphrodite, Now watch out for the Maya's,
and Her sister bold Astarte, They might really try to fry ya,
They both throw a pretty good party, Sacrifice people not papaya's,
And that's just fine with me! Just as long as its not me!
Let us praise the Holy Fool Don't neglect that shrine of Zeus'
For he's breaking all the rules Tho he's lost his vital juices
Holds you up to ridicule, The old boy still has his uses
And that's good enough for me! And he's good enough for me!
There's one thing that I do know No one wrote a verse for Buddah
Zeus' favorite is Juno Tho I think they really coulda
She's the best at doing..you know! And I really think they shoulda
And that's good enough for me! 'Cause he's good enough for me!
Tho J.C.'s into fish, too, Anytime that I start hearin'
He's an avatar of Vishnu "Jesus loves you" I start leerin'
So he is welcome here, too, Maybe so, but not like Brian
And that's good enough for me! Which is good enough for me!
All the Gods tore into Loki If you're really into dancing
Saying Deicide is hokey! And you wanna try some trancing
And they threw him in the pokey! Then the Voodoo gods are prancing
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
If you wanna worship Odin Good old Thor's the god of thunder
You don't have to have a coat on Really helps us get our plunder
Grab a sword and slap some woad on Tho his head's still truly dunder
And that's good enough for me! He is good enough for me!
I don't really go for Shinto And for those who follow Cthulhu
It's just something I'm not into We have really got a lulu:
Tho I guess I could begin to Drop a bomb on Honolulu!
'Cause it's good enough for me! 'Cause that's good enough for you!
Well it's good enough for H***** Let's all drink to Dionysus
He's a mighty kinky master Wine and women beyond prices!
When you pray he goes much faster He made a Maenad out of my Sis!
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Let us dance with Dionysus The late return of the Prophet Zarquon
And get drunk on wine and spices Caused his followers to hearken
The Christians call them "vices" As the Universe went dark on
But they're good enough for me! All of you and me!
Let us note the might of Ils We'll invoke the blessed Camber
With a thousand or more quills And the Unicorn of Amber
By the light that from him spills And the wizard Deliamber
He is good enough for me! They're good enough for me!
151 verses (more)
8
"That Real Old-Time Religion:" Extra Verses
When we worship Bacchus We will venerate old Bacchus
The ethanol will sock us Drinking beer and eating tacos
We'll all get good and raucous Til you've tried it please don't knock us
And that's good enough for me! 'Cause it's good enough for me!
When you worship Rusto Warriors for Allah
Treat your friends with lust-o Are sure to have a gala
Pursue youyr faith with gusto! Time in old Valhalla
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
They revered ancient ENIAC In the halls of Frey and Freyja
And sacrificed to UNIVAC All the priestesses will lay ya
Now we sing our chants on VAX pack If you're good enough, they'll pay ya!
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
It was good enough for Cupid Let us worship sweet Eninni
It was good enough for Cupid Let us worship sweet Eninni
His wings look kind of stupid In a skimpy string bikini
But that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
In Pwyll's hall you will be welcome Well Dimuzi's on vacation
But he's not at home too often He'll be back when spring awakens
Spends all his time in Annwyfn There will be such recreaction
And that's good enough for me! There will be enough for me!
In his dancing Pan will lead them Pan's pipes got plugged last summer
When his pipes call we will heed them And it really was a bummer
In truth tho, he don't need them Finally had to call a plumber!
He's more than enough for me! But he's good enough for me!
We will venerate old Hermes We will worship now with vigor
With his staff entwined with wormies The goddess known as Frigga
Warding off the nasty germies Tho there are some who don't dig her
And that's good enough for me! She is good enough for me!
I pray to Ahura-Mazda Let us all now worship Ra
He's one god who sure won't pause ta And take care of our Ka
Pound some heads when given cause ta We'll all sit round and go "Ah-h-h!"
Which is good enough for me! Which is good enough for me!
We will all do praise to Horus Here's an invitation for us
In an old Egyptian chorus All to go and worship Horus
If there's something in it for us Doff your clothes and join the chorus
Then it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
As the goddess Kali dances Oh the ancient goddess Nerthus
With her worshippers in trances From herself the Earth did birth us
You can learn some Hindu stances And I wonder: are we worth us?
And that's good enough for me! But she's good enough for me!
It was good enough for Venus We will sing our staves to Venus
She'd have sighed if she'd of seen us We will sing our staves to Venus
Letting morals come between us Tho I think this rhyme is henious
And she's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
173 verses (more)
9
"That Real Old-Time Religion:" Extra Verses
Let us call an Elemental We will all bow down to Gozer
For a temporary rental Priestess did it with that Joser
Just as long as it is gentle Cross the streams, and there she goes, sir!
It is good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
We will worship with Poseidon In matters Dianetic
We will meet him when the tide's in You need not get frenetic
All the maidens he will ride in Make your Engrams copacetic
Then he'll give 'em all to me! And that's good enough for me!
All the hunters start convergin' And to help things get real racous
When Diana is emergin' The priests of Pan and Bacchus
It's too bad she's still a virgin Will hold a f***ing contest!
But there's still hope left for me! And that's all right with me!
We will got to worship Lillith If you get too tired
Grab your cup, step up and fill it And you need to get up higher
Tho 'ware she don't make you spill it! Just have Pele light your fire!
And that's good eonough for me! From her island in the sea!
Quetzacoatl's flyin' Drink to FUFLUNS he's just fine
With the Toltec and the Mayan The Etruscan god of wine
And the mushrooms he's been buyin' This verse doesn't really rhyme
Are good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
We will worship Christian Jesus You can keep your saints with halos,
And do just like John Paul pleases Your hosannas or dayenus:
That we will... when Hades freezes! Let's throw virgins in volcanos!
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Let's go worship Great Cthulhu, In Japan they thought it neato
And run naked like a Zulu, When they worshipped Hirohito
You and me and Mr. Sulu, But that didn't sit with SEATO
And that's good enough for me! So it never more will be!
I can't rhyme Ahura Mazda, We will all bow down to Venus
And I'll praise the man who tries ta, As we dance upon Mt Zenos
Then I'll wait for Barak Raz ta, We will worship with our....voice
And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
Oh, the dollar is our Saviour And when old Quetzacoatl
If we spend Her or we save Her Found a virgin he could throttle
She controls all our behaviour And put her heart into a bottle
There's not enough for me! It was good enough for me!
There are those who worship science I'll go get my golden sickle
And some would send 'em to the Lions And I'll wear it where it tickles
But without 'em we'd have no appliance It ain't used for cuttin' pickles!
So they're good enough for me! And it's good enough for me!
In the church of Aphrodite John, Paul, George and Ringo
The Priestess wears a see through nightie We will worship playing Bingo
She's a mighty righteous sightie, We will listen to them sing-o
And she's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me!
194 verses (more)
10
"That Real Old-Time Religion:" Extra Verses
Whether Low Church or it's High Church I have got a strange religion
Or it's Pie-Up-In-The-Sky Church I will worship Walter Pidgeon
Come on down and visit my Church Is he sacred? Just a smidgen!
Cause it's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
Brother Jerry is a cretin Brother Oral's in his tower,
But with all the cash he's gettin' Trusting in the Lord's power
Lotsa folks'll be forgettin Getting richer by the hour,
It's the "Land of the Free!" Now he's got the ransom fee!
Brother Robert's church is Crystal Brother Earnest is a healer
But all the Bible that he's missed'll And not QUITE a wheeler-dealer --
Make you "hotter than a pistol" More a jumper and a squealer
But he's good enough for me! So he's good enough for me!
Brother Jim and Sister Tammy Then there's good ol' Brother Billy
Had a show that was a whammy Bringing souls in willy-nilly.
But now they are in Miami All his trips are kinda silly,
Tryin' t'get back on TV! But he's good enough for me!
Let us read works of Confucius We will worship Xipe-Totec
As we walk thru Massachusetts Tho it is a little lo-tek *
In white robes that freeze our tushes It is not a bit ero-tek (erotic)
But it's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me!
* "low-tech(nology)
We will worship Xochipilli And the Romans said of Jesus
Though it might be a bit silly "Lets kill him, he don't please us"
Running naked makes me chilly "But the Atheists will tease us"
But it's good enough for me! And thats good enough for me
You could join Jehovah's Witness
Running door to door for fitness
Well if you've been blessed with quickness,
Then thats good enough for me
We used to study old Confucius And let's not forget Pelagius
As we sat there on our tushes Though some call him outrageous
We're learning but don't push us He is pious and courageous
And thats good enough for me And he's good enough for me!
It's the opera written for us
We will all join in the chorus
It's the opera about Boris
Which is Godunov for me!
210 verses
*
last update: 08/29/91
More verses are always welcome to this collection. Send them to:
Joe Bethancourt FIDO Net: 1:114/29 (602) 439-8070
PO Box 35190 Internet: Joe.Bethancourt@f29.n114.z1.fidonet.org
Phoenix AZ 85069
*
*
IMPERIUM COMPOUND
(Tune: "Lily the Pink")
Now here's a story, a little bit gory,
A little bit happy, a little bit sad.
About a drink called Imperium Compound
And how the SCA's been had! (1)
Chorus: Oh we think, we think, we think,
The King is a fink, a fink, a fink,
A figure of respectability
Rules the Kingdom thru Imperium Compound
The results are plain to see!
Duke Treegirtsea, was known for his courtesy,
And his fighting prowess was well-renowned
Took a thimble of Imperium Compound
And the poor Duke nearly drowned! (2)
Words with Andy, you never should bandy
He is strong enough to kill a moose
He drinks copious Imperium Compound
But he can't take Jungle Juice! (2)
Meriwold, he's the bane of a Skald, he
Has no attributes of which to sing
Polite and formal, incredibly normal,
Are you SURE he was the King? (3)
Bearengaer(y) he lived solitary,
From his presence folks would hide in fear
Dipped his blade in Imperium Compound
And now we're stuck with him this year!
Thaid Mak Tiessown, he taught us a lesson,
And his praises now we sing,
With the aid of Imperium Compound
Any fool can be a King! (1)
There was Al Frank, some thought him an old crank
But a brilliant troubador and skald,
Drank a toast with Imperium Compound
Now he's prematurely bald! //and married!// (1)
There was Roland, he wrote with a slow hand
But in what he writes he does take pride
Dipped his quill in Imperium Compound
And took Wandor for a ride! //for money!// (2)
Azarael, a melodious fellow
Sings a song both sweet and terse,
After drinking Imperium Compound,
He gets verse and verse and verse!
Hakan Redbeard, we thought him a bit wierd,
We thought Vikings all were six foot four,
Bathed his beard in Imperium Compound
And he shrank right to the floor! //still singing!//
2
After Hakan, we sing of the KaKhan,
And his Horde, which never seems to leave!
They just smile at Imperium Compound,
I wonder what is up his sleeve? //wheet - thunk!//
AltChorus: Oh, we think, we think, we think,
The Khan is a fink, a fink, a fink,
A figure of incredibility
Rules the Horde with Ghengis Compound
With results that you can never see!
Robert Asprin, pulled many a fast one
On the Kingdom and its' Kings,
So we all drank Imperium Compound
Now we can stand the songs he sings! //oh, yeah?// (4)
There was Rolac, some thought him a Polack,
But he was a Scot, you see,
He took treatments of Imperium Compound,
Now he's as wise as you or me! //not likely!// (1)
Ol' Duke Siggie, a West Coast biggie,
Didn't know enough for his own good!
Threw a knife at Yang the Nauseating,
And escaped with Brotherhood! (2)
Kenneth of Cheviot, I haven't quite rhymed yet,
But he has a fair and roving eye,
When imbibing Imperium Compound
He is never, ever, ever, shy! (2)
Mongol Hordemen, those free-living swordsmen
Subverting the Kingdoms from underneath!
Have no use for Imperium Compound
Except perhaps to brush their teeth!
AltChorus: Oh we fink, we fink, we fink,
The Khan and the Kink, the Kink, the Kink,
And the Board, their Great Senilities!
The Western Irgun, drinks Imperium Compound
And we're BACK, with results you'll see! (13)
Laurelin Darksbane, millenial elf-thane,
Sought only for love and peace,
Took a drink of Imperium Compound
Now you'll find him in the trees!
Daemon de Folo wants authority, solo,
Like a tyrant he would be
Stole a drink of Imperium Compound
So much for MidRealm Heraldry!
Anton Thoth-Ruhkh at drinking was no puke
He has never ever reached his peak
He was given Imperium Compound
And pronounced it was too damn weak!
3
Then there's Tjukka - his best friend's a hookah
He's smoked substances both strange and rare
He tried smoking Imperium Compound
Now he breathes water instead of air!
Thorbjorn he....needed a remedy
For with ladies he took fright
Took a drink of Imperium Compound
Now he's horny day and night!
Rory O'Tomrair an Irishman debonair
Of bureaucracy had had his fill
Took a swig of Imperium Compound
Now he's Kingdom Sene-SHILL!
Then there's Duke Andy, who never was handy
And at fighting he was only fair
Till he tasted Imperium Compound
Now he's claws and teeth and hair!
Grimdore Hawksbane looked like a Great Dane
And the ladies always passed him by
So he tried some Imperium Compound
Now they follow him and sigh!
From Ansteorra came Sir Galem Ostwestly
A most noble, chaste, and holy Knight
Took a swig of Imperium Compound
Now he ***ks and sings all night!
Baron Moonwulf had a small problem
He thought Rivengut was just too sweet
So we gave him Imperium Compound
Now he cannot find his feet!
Lady Laurel, with Authority Royal,
Passes and rejects our heraldry
She needs a swig of Imperium Compound
Then perhaps she'd deign to talk to me!
Kevin Perigrynne, we hoped that he'd win,
When he made Duke William's helmet ring
Though a mere Knight, he showed his great might
Now he's our curly-headed King!
AltChorus: Oh we think, we think, we think,
The King is a fink, a fink, a fink,
A figure of delectability!
Combs his hair with Imperium Compound
The results are plain to see!
Said Kevin Perigrynne, I've really got to win
My fighting poem is three years old today
Rubbed his pinions with Imperium Compound
And brought an old grey wolf to bay!
Kevin Perigrynne, they told him "You'll never win!"
You're just a falcon with a broken wing
Rubbed his elbow with Imperium Compound
Even a cripple can be King! (11)
4
Said Princess Pattty, "We're going batty,
But the Kingdom must come first, I've heard...
We'll run our lives with Imperium Compound
And give the Western Crown the bird!
Lady Trude thought it her duty
To turn a social wrong into a Right
Proved her point with Imperium Compound
And showed that Cheshire Cats can fight! //and scratch//
Mary of Uffington said "Fighting's a lot of fun,
But I've found a bigger thrill!"
Earned a Clubbe with Imperium Compound
Because it's lots more fun to kill!
Siegfried the Urbane disguises a sharp brain
Beneath a mop of flashy golden hair
He rakes and he boozes, but it's Compound he uses
When he runs out of savoir faire! (6)
The Board of Directors styled themselves The Electors
And another con they tried to swing
Now the BoD drinks Imperium Compound
So we no longer need a King! (7)
AltChorus: Oh the Bod, the BoD, the BoD,
It thinks it is God, is God, is God,
The figure of Supreme Authority!
And if we O.D.'d on Imperium Compund
there'd be no need for Royalty! (7/8)
Jon deCles rules, as if we were all fools
And won't ever try to change his ways
Once the Horde drinks Imperium Compound
Then the Board will be deClesse! (9)
AltChorus: Oh the Board, the Board, the Board,
It isn't the Horde, the Horde, the Horde
And in its' difference lies its' fall from grace
Even the Dukes found they had to use Compound
Just to keep it in its' place! (9)
Princess Kelley, was always so smelly
Everyone around her had to wince
Rinsed her diapers in Imperium Compound
And we've been smiling ever since! (10)
Duke Henrik was a Dane, we all thought he was sane
And a foolish thing he'd never try
He mixed his sake with Imperium Compound
Now he's a Danish Samurai! //ah! so!// (11)
Oh, MEDIEVAL Net, we thought it was all wet
With witty remarks, and other kinds of sass
We'll feed our computers on Imperium Compound
And BYTE the BoD right on its' righteous ass! (5)
5
Kaththea verKaysc, was so very nice-ic
For the King and Queen made Crepes Suzettes
Into her recipe went Imperium Compound
And she became a Baroness! (12)
Duke Sir Brion, with his pretty white suit on,
Is a model of goodness and purity
Never touches Imperium Compound
(spoken:) And I'll sell ya seashore property in Yuma, too! (5)
KaKhan Yang the...great imbiber of Tully,
Said there was no drink that he feared
So he tried some Imperium Compound
And completely disappeared!
Good old Duncan was often drunken
Chasing all the ladies fair
He bathed himself in Imperium Compound
Now he has a little savoir faire! (5)
Christopher Houghton and his father dotin'
Both undefeated sought the Kingship
But Christopher bathed in Imperium Compound
While William only took a dip!
Ioseph of Locksley, never changes his socks, he
Runs around looking like a Cavalier,
He stocked up on Imperium Compound
And he has enough to last for years and years! (13)
AltChorus: Oh they forgot, forgot, forgot
The Locks-e-ly Plot, the Plot, the Plot!
And it works the best when it is underground!
It isn't a hassle for a green-and-white tassle
They're the ones that BREW Imperium Compound! (13)
Seneshal Keridwen, a leader of good men,
Sought to give away her job
She was poisoned with Imperium Compound
Now when we think of her, we sob!
Duchess Deshive, had it her own way,
Ruled Caid, and as a Queen, did well!
But they gave out Imperium Compound,
And a toga party blew it all to hell! (13)
Trelon of the Wood, he was very good, he
Was a leader that had never been beat before;
But Caid had Imperium Compound,
And Imperial Roman Caid won the War! //with help!// (13)
Criostan MacAmhlaidh don't like creepy-crawlies
And she very seldom sees the light of day,
But she drank some Imperium Compound,
And now she "pets de cat" in several ways! //meow!// (13)
In Tyr Ysgithr, it's regularly whispered there
That the Kingdom is ruled over by a King // What's THAT? //
They're "democratic" and quite erratic....
They've forgot the purpose of the whole damn thing! (17)
6
There was a Viking, he once was my King,
His name is Asbjorn, he's the one.
Does his hair with Imperium Compound--
Is it true blondes have more fun? (14)
Good old Ardjukk, he never got any nookie,
He was always standing 'round behind the door
But then he tasted Imperium Compound
He's Afraid-Of-His-Cats, but he's got pussy galore! (5)
Finvarr de Taahe, he needed a remedy
For the falcons nesting in his hair;
So he sprayed them with Imperium Compound
Now petrified falcons roost up there! (14-16)
King Sir Mark von, with his pretty white suit on,
Rules the Kingdom both with Grace and Purity!
He never touches Imperium Compound
At least not where anyone else can see! (5)
Good King Christian, we never could question
So it happened at October Crown:
He led the Kingdom out into the water
And his tooth was never found. (15)
King Sebastian, he was a bastion
Of Carolingian civility,
So when he drank Imperium Compound
He danced across the sea. (16)
When Maragon ascended the Eastern Throne
He found he need not do a thing
He never heard of Imperium Compound
For only BoD can make a King! (16)
Imperium Compound was a recipe found
By Bruce of Cloves, the first to rule the East
It was so long ago, he had sabre-tooth tygers
At his Coronation feast! (16)
Alpin MacGregor looked so regal
In the purple robes of an Eastern King
Then he tasted Imperium Compound
And he chucked the whole damn thing! (16)
Duke Akbar, the bloodthirsty Moghul,
By al-Q'uran is forbidden wine,
So he drinks up Imperium Compound
As a change from drinks sanguine! (16)
When Count Murad was the Crown Prince
He was known far and wide as Akbar's lad;
He drank to excess of Imperium Compound
And then was known as Akbar's dad! (16)
Rakkurai, the yarmulke'd Sam-rye
Swore he'd never need a drink,
When he was offered Imperium Compound
Just to prove the King's a fink! //OY! vas he!// (16)
7
Cariadoc drinks Imperium Compound
Just before the start of every bout
No need to ask him why he does it
When Duke Nijinsky starts to leap about! (16)
Count Jehan, it's true, is a loup-garou
And it's sad to say he got that way
When he drank too much Imperium Compound
And at the moon began to bay! // Arooooooo! // (16)
It's said of Duke Angus, he likes to drink kumiss
In fact he'll drink most anything,
But he'll never touch Imperium Compound
For only BUD is fit for Kings! (16)
Alaric thinks Imperium Compound
As a party drink is only fair
But it's great to polish armour
Or to wash down Gummi-Bears! (16)
Now Laeghaere of tde Strong Hand
He comes from Ireland
And was, accordingly, weaned on Uisquebaugh
But when he sips Imperium Compound
You'll hear an Irish Wolfhound's howl //Aroooooo!// (16)
Don Fernando drinks tequila
By the jugful...never gets him high
Takes a sip of Imperium Compound
and OLE! The Spanish Fly! (16)
Fredrick of Holland came from the Westland
And in the East by him great deeds were done
He'd worked up a thirst for Imperium Compound
For he'd been fighting since DAY ONE! // No Kidding! // (16)
Gyrth Oldcastle wanted no hassle
Just a drink that's tried and true
So Melisande makes his Imperium Compound
From an ancient Fambly brew! (16)
Bertrand de Flammepoing, he really must be aw-
Fully sure of his invulnerability
He cried thru a bowl full of Imperium Compound
"Let's try assassinating me!" (16)
Setanta Rex, he, became King X, he
Got killed off sometime in the spring
So Aidan drank his Imperium Compound
"The King is dead! Long live the...Queen?" (16)
Vissevald he's the friend of the skald, he's
A patron of the Minstrelsy;
And when he's had his Imperium Compound
He breaks the glasses with his high "C"! (16)
There wasn't any like Gavin Kilkenny
Known as crafty, keen, in battle tough!
Then Tamera fed him Imperium Compound
And proved the King's a booff! (16)
8
Michael of Bedford mounted throne-ward
And the peasants all in peace did sleep
For he pledged in Imperium Compound
To guard the virtue of their sheep! (16)
Siegfried von Halstern, when it was his turn,
To lead the Pennsic forces on parade
Promised to turn down Imperium Compound
Unless it's mixed with GatorAde! (16)
Let us drink to King AElfwine, one who
With Queen Arastorm did travel far!
Gotatwice`the milage with Imperium Compound
In the gas tank of their car! (16)
Hasdrubal downed Imperium Compound
And put the archer's noses out of joint
He thought we had too many Orders
So the Pheon lost its' point! (16)
Sedalia and Viktor took the sceptre
And there happened a peculiar thing:
They both drank so much Imperium Compound
You couldn't tell which one was King! (16)
Morghun Sheridan had a Crown to win
Which he did for one and all to see;
He washed his dishes in Imperium Compound
And put the Kingdom on KP! (16)
Ronald Wilmot says he is still not
Sure that his good luck he can believe:
He flew due East on Imperium Compound
And landed in the strawberry leaves! (16)
The Fates were perusing; a King they were choosing
Of the safe and sane and saintly sort
Then they tippled Imperium Compound,
And now Sebastian's holding Court! (16)
Bruce of Cloves was King of the Eastland
But his reign it must have been a bore:
Just what he did with Imperium Compound
No one remembers anymore! (16)
When Laeghaere O'Laverty has the depravity
To entertain a Lady in her bower,
He takes a sip of Imperium Compound,
Ere demonstrating Tyrone's power! (16)
Fernando drank Imperium Compound
But he doesn't do it any more;
Not since he saw a Quetzacoatl
Above his chamber door! // a-singing....! // (16)
Fredrick of Holland drank Imperium Compound
But he didn't think it awfully neat,
Made a face and muttered lowly:
"This stuff is too damn sweet!" (16)
9
When Setanta ascended the Eastern Throne
He was nothing special to behold;
Until he drank some Imperium Compound:
Now he's a Playgirl centerfold! (16)
When Setanta was the Crown Prince
He wore garments of a sombre hue
Then he tasted Imperium Compound
And now he's berry, berry blue! (16)
Imperium Compound is a manly brew
As many a puissant Countess will assert!
It makes you wonder about King Vissevald
The King who wears a skirt! (16)
Vissevald is King of the Eastland
Drinks Imperium Compound by the quart
He likes it so much he's never noticed
We now wear daggers into Court! (16)
Vissevald and his Lady Mara
Danced "La Volta" through the night;
He drank too deep of Imperium Compound,
And she's now a satellite! (16)
Gavin Kilkenny asked "Is there any-
One who would dispute my rightful Throne?
I'll take a double Imperium Compound,
For it seems I have a clone!" (16)
AElfwine the Saxon, whose family's flaxen
Whose courtesy is all the Northland's pride;
Mixes his mead now with Imperium Compound
Often a bridesmaid, now a bride! (16)
Siegfried, thrice King, showed us a new thing
When fighting for the Eastern Crown:
He took a swig of Imperium Compound
And proved you CAN win from one-down! (16)
Richard of Mont Roy-al, the Short he
Is very fast and very hard to kill;
As tall as Frodo, or his dog, Odo,
But he kisses Froggies with a will! (5)
Duke Sir Deaton, was never beaten
On the field, or in the drinking hall;
At the Catbox War with Caid,
Left thirty bodies piled against the wall! (5)
Denis O'Titans was good at smitin'
A Locksley Monster in every single way!
Drank a little Imperium Compound
And ATE Deaton's sword that day // No! REALLY! // (5)
Wotan the Mongoloid, a little bit paranoid,
But a nice guy none the less;
Drank a mess of Imperium Compound
Now he's Justin du Roc, I confess! (5)
10
Then there's Duke Reynard, with a face like a St. Bernard
Of the Dukes, he is the homliest
He tends to toke up on Imperium Compound
And go out and whomp on anybody's best!
Oh, Ebenezer, thought he was Julius Caesar
So they put him in the Funny Home.
Then they gave him Imperium Compound,
Now he's Emperor of Rome.
AltChorus: Oh let's drink a drink, a drink, a drink,
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink,
The savior of the human ra-aa-ace.
She invented Imperium Compound,
Most effacatious in evr'y case.
There was Horic, We thought he was sick,
As a War-Puppy he was insane,
Gave up Tranya for Imperium Compound,
Now we have an Acid Reign! //Oh wow, man!// (18)
This song'll bedevil the folks at a revel,
And most of the time it will annoy the King,
So take a drink of Imperium Compound
And let's go Royalty-bedeviling! (5)
Duchess Anna is quite a fan-a
Going on a wartime shopping spree! \\ War Point!\\
Took a drink of Imperium Compound
And shopped so fast we couldn't see! \\ Z-o-o-o-om!\\ (5)
Lyn of Whitewolfe, made of the right stuff,
Twice the Queen of Atenveldt;
Took a drink of Imperium Compound
And the Kingdom of Caid before her knelt! (5)
Duke Sir Brion, and Duke Sir Trelon,
Won the Crown with regularity;
Drank a lot of Imperium Compound,
And founded a dynasty! (5)
Stephan von Geist, was most awful nice,
And a chivalrous fighter without any doubt
Took a swig of Imperium Compound
And won the Crown his first time out! (5)
All the Crusadenes were big, but not mean,
And the finest fighters in the town.
But they all drank Jerusalem Compound,
Winning Crown after Crown after Crown! (5)
Good Duke Arthur couldn't get no farth-er
A Norman King in Aten Land
Drank too much of Imperium Compound
And went off to conquer Engel-land! (5)
Then King Richard, a bit of a bitch, heard
A King's Crown could be done.
Drank a little Imperium Compound
And became the Aten King, first one! (5)
11
There was Astra, no one ever asked her
And she was for having fun!
Then she sampled Imperium Compound,
And today she is a nun \\ not better!\\ (19)
There's good old Igor, his prowess is meager
For he never learned to water-ski!
But instead he drinks Imperium Compound
Then he howls and climbs a tree! \\Hoo Hah!\\ (19)
Then there's Dagan, his brother's the Ka-Khan,
Which is quite funny in a King!
If he gets hooked on Imperium Compound
There'll be new songs to sing! \\ Oh, really?\\ (19)
Fredrick of Holland, who dwells in the Northland,
A Master from the West, he came!
Spends all his money for Imperium Compound
That's why his garb's always the same! (20)
Now Gyrth Oldcastle, round as a beer barrel,
Once chose to quarrel with a certain Bard;
The poet served him with Imperium Compound,
And left him rendered down to lard! (20)
Many tales abound of Imperium Compound
And its' strange effects on Royalty,
But after an hour, this song has no power,
And by now, it's boring ME! (16)
Duchess Malinda, who doesn't do windas
But she does a lot of Duchess Things,
But give her a LOT of Imperium Compound,
And she sings and sings and sings and sings and sings! (5)
AltChorus: Oh it's too long, too long, too long
To sing the whole song, the song, the song
Longer than a Royal Court, it is!
But sing it serial, this ditty Imperial
And you'll be a bardic whiz! (5)
CREDITS: (1): Yang the Nauseating (2): Azarael the Soul Separator
(3): Hael of the Broken Mask (4): Richard of Alsace
(5): Ioseph of Locksley (6): Rima of Rockridge
(7): Siegfried v. Hofflichkeit (8): Karina of the Far West
(9): Linda-Muireall v. Katzenbrasse & Elspeth O'Byrne
(10): Esmerelda (11): Kevin Perigrynne (12): Aelswith
(13): Ardjukk Afraid-of-His-Cats (14): Barak Raz, or was it Orm?
(15): Iulstan Sigewealding (16): Megan ni Laine
(17): Raphael Blackriser (18): Steffan ap Cennydd
(19): HOPSFA Hymnal (3rd Ed.) (20): Unknown SCA songbook
Where no credit is given: Author/source unknown.
Send any verses you have that are NOT in here to:
Ioseph of Locksley This is one of several files comprising the
c/o PO Box 35190 Black Book of Song of Ioseph of Locksley.
Phoenix AZ 85069 USA Collect them all!
--------------------------------------
*
IMPERIUM COMPOUND
(Atenveldt Verses)
Now here's a story, a little bit gory,
A little bit happy, a little bit sad.
About a drink called Imperium Compound
And how the SCA's been had!
Chorus: Oh we think, we think, we think,
The King is a fink, a fink, a fink,
A figure of respectability
Rules the Kingdom thru Imperium Compound
The results are plain to see!
Mongol Hordemen, those free-living swordsmen
Subverting the Kingdoms from underneath!
Have no use for Imperium Compound
Except perhaps to brush their teeth!
AltChorus: Oh we fink, we fink, we fink,
The Khan and the Kink, the Kink, the Kink,
And the Board, their Great Senilities!
The Western Irgun, drinks Imperium Compound
And we're BACK, with results you'll see!
Lady Laurel, with Authority Royal,
Passes and rejects our heraldry
She needs a swig of Imperium Compound
Then perhaps she'd deign to talk to me!
Lady Trude thought it her duty
To turn a social wrong into a Right
Proved her point with Imperium Compound
And showed that Cheshire Cats can fight! //and scratch//
The Board of Directors styled themselves The Electors
And another con they tried to swing
Now the BoD drinks Imperium Compound
So we no longer need a King!
AltChorus: Oh the Bod, the BoD, the BoD,
It thinks it is God, is God, is God,
The figure of Supreme Authority!
And if we O.D.'d on Imperium Compund
there'd be no need for Royalty!
Oh, MEDIEVAL Net, we thought it was all wet
With witty remarks, and other kinds of sass
We'll feed our computers on Imperium Compound
And BYTE the BoD right on its' righteous ass!
Good old Duncan was often drunken
Chasing all the ladies fair
He bathed himself in Imperium Compound
Now he has a little savoir faire!
(more)
ATEN IMPERIUM (cont.)
Ioseph of Locksley, never changes his socks, he
Runs around looking like a Cavalier,
He stocked up on Imperium Compound
And he has enough to last for years and years!
AltChorus: Oh they forgot, forgot, forgot
The Locks-e-ly Plot, the Plot, the Plot!
And it works the best when it is underground!
It isn't a hassle for a green-and-white tassle
They're the ones that BREW Imperium Compound!
Trelon of the Wood, he was very good, he
Was a leader that had never been beat before;
But Caid had Imperium Compound,
And Imperial Roman Caid won the War! //with help!//
In Tyr Ysgithr, it's regularly whispered there
That the Kingdom is ruled over by a King // What's THAT? //
They're "democratic" and quite erratic....
They've forgot the purpose of the whole damn thing!
King Sir Mark von, with his pretty white suit on,
Rules the Kingdom both with Grace and Purity!
He never touches Imperium Compound
At least not where anyone else can see!
Duke Sir Deaton, was never beaten
On the field, or in the drinking hall;
At the Catbox War with Caid,
Left thirty bodies piled against the wall!
Denis O'Titans was good at smitin'
A Locksley Monster in every single way!
Drank a little Imperium Compound
And ATE Deaton's sword that day // No! REALLY! //
Wotan the Mongoloid, a little bit paranoid,
But a nice guy none the less;
Drank a mess of Imperium Compound
Now he's Justin du Roc, I confess!
Then there's Duke Reynard, with a face like a St. Bernard
Of the Dukes, he is the homliest
He tends to toke up on Imperium Compound
And go out and whomp on anybody's best!
This song'll bedevil the folks at a revel,
And most of the time it will annoy the King,
So take a drink of Imperium Compound
And let's go Royalty-bedeviling!
Duchess Anna is quite a fan-a
Going on a wartime shopping spree! \\ War Point!\\
Took a drink of Imperium Compound
And shopped so fast we couldn't see! \\ Z-o-o-o-om!\\ (5)
(more)
ATEN IMPERIUM (Cont.)
Lyn of Whitewolfe, made of the right stuff,
Twice the Queen of Atenveldt;
Took a drink of Imperium Compound
And the Kingdom of Caid before her knelt!
Duke Sir Brion, and Duke Sir Trelon,
Won the Crown with regularity;
Drank a lot of Imperium Compound,
And founded a dynasty!
Stephan von Geist, was most awful nice,
And a chivalrous fighter without any doubt
Took a swig of Imperium Compound
And won the Crown his first time out!
All the Crusadenes were big, but not mean,
And the finest fighters in the town.
But they all drank Jerusalem Compound,
Winning Crown after Crown after Crown!
Good Duke Arthur couldn't get no farth-er
A Norman King in Aten Land
Drank too much of Imperium Compound
And went off to conquer Engel-land!
Then King Richard, a bit of a bitch, heard
A King's Crown could be done.
Drank a little Imperium Compound
And became the Aten King, first one!
Duchess Malinda, who doesn't do windas,
But she does a lot of Duchess Things,
But give her a LOT of Imperium Compound,
And she sings and sings and sings and sings and sings!
Duke Sir Brion, with his pretty white suit on,
Is a model of goodness and purity
Never touches Imperium Compound
(spoken:) And I'll sell ya seashore property in Yuma, too!
Optional last verse:
Many tales abound of Imperium Compound
And its' strange effects on Royalty,
But after an hour, this song has no power,
And by now, it's boring ME!
AltChorus: Oh it's too long, too long, too long
To sing the whole song, the song, the song
Longer than a Royal Court, it is!
But sing it serial, this ditty Imperial
And you'll be a bardic whiz!
Send any verses you have that are NOT in here to:
Ioseph of Locksley
c/o PO Box 35190
Phoenix AZ 85069 USA