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As we come to the end of yet another year, it is time again to make
those ever so important New Year's Resolutions. I have faithfully
made such resolutions in the past, and have now come up with my
New Year's Resolutions for 1992, all of which follow:
1989 1990 1991 1992
|------------------|------------------|------------------|------------------|
|I will try to be |I will not |I will try for a |I will try to be |
|a better husband |leave Marge. |reconciliation |a better husband |
|to Marge. | |Marge. |to Wanda. |
| | | | |
| | | | |
|I will stop |I will not get |I will not let |I will stop |
|looking at other |involved with |Wanda pressure me |looking at other |
|women. |Wanda. |into another |women. |
| | |marriage. | |
| | | | |
| | | | |
|I will not let |I will stick up |I will not let my |I will tell |
|my boss push |for my rights |sadistic boss |Dr. Hodger and |
|me around. |when my boss |drive me to the |the group about |
| |bullies me. |point of suicide. |my boss. |
| | | | |
| | | | |
|I will read at |I will read at |I will read |I will finish |
|least 20 good |least 10 books |5 books a year. |Airport. |
|books a year. |a year. | | |
| | | | |
| | | | |
|I will not get |I will not get |I will not lose |I will not speak |
|upset when Charlie|annoyed when |my temper when |to Charlie and |
|and Sam make jokes|Charlie and Sam |Charlie and Sam |Sam. |
|about my baldness.|kid me about |tell the guys I | |
| |my toupee. |wear a girdle. | |
| | | | |
| | | | |
|I will get my |I will watch my |I will follow my |I will try to |
|weight down below |calories until I |diet religiously |develop a |
|180 pounds. |get below 190. |until I get below |realistic attitude|
| | |200 pounds. |about my weight. |
| | | | |
| | | | |
|I will not take a |I will not touch |I will not become |I will not miss |
|drink before 5pm. |the bottle before |a problem drinker.|any AA meetings. |
| |noon. | | |
| | | | |
| | | | |
|I will not spend |I will pay off |I will pay off |I will begin |
|my money |my bank loan |my bank loans |making a strong |
|frivously. |promptly. |promptly. |effort to be out |
| | | |debt by 1995. |
| | | | |
| | | | |
|I will see my |I will have my |I will have my |I will get rid of |
|dentist this year.|cavities filled |root canal work |my denture breath |
| |this year. |done this year. |this year. |
| | | | |
| | | | |
|I will go to |I will go to |I will set aside |I will try to |
|church every |church as often |time each day for |catch the late |
|Sunday. |as possible. |prayer & devotion.|sermonette on TV. |
| | | | |
| | | | |
|I will not be |I will stop |I will work to |I will accept the |
|self-destructive. |wrecking my life. |escape the living |fact that some men|
| | |hell I've created |are winners and |
| | |for myself. |others are losers.|
| | | | |
| | | | |
|I will work out at|I will play 18 |I will go to the |I will improve my |
|the gym at least |holes of golf at |pitch-and-putt |game of bridge. |
|twice a week. |least once a week.|whenever I can. | |
| | | | |
| | | | |
|I will follow all |I will make a |I will try to bat |I will learn to |
|of these |serious effot to |.500 with these |live with my |
|resolutions |follow these |resolutions. |weaknesses. |
|to the letter. |resolutions. | | |
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