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You might be Considered a Redneck if...


	
Your front porch collapses and you kill more than 6 dogs




	
You've ever used lard in bed




	
You think potted meat and saltines are an hors d'oevre




	
There is a stuffed possum mounted anywhere in your house




	
You consider a six-pack of beer and watching a bug-zapper


   quality entertainment

	
Less than half of the cars you own run




	
Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before


   telling the state patrolman to kiss her ass

	
The main color of your car is "primer"




	
You honestly think women are turned on by animal noises and


   seductive tongue gestures

	
Your family tree doesn't fork




	
Your wife's hairdo has ever been caught in a ceiling fan




	
Your mother has ever been involved in a fist fight at a high


   school sports event

	
You've ever B-B-Qued spam on the grill




	
The neighbors started a petition concerning your Christmas


lights


	
Your brother-in-law is your uncle




	
You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey &




	
The Bandit was snubbed for best picture




	
The rear tires on your car are twice as wide as the front ones




	
You consider True Story of Field & Stream deep reading




	
You prominently display a gift you purchased ar Graceland




	
The diploma hanging in your den includes the words "Trucking


   Institute"

	
Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board




	
You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding




	
You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader




	
The most common phrase heard ar your family reunion is "What


   the hell are you looking at,  Shithead?"

	
You think beef sticks and moon pies are two of the major food


   groups

	
You think Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug




	
You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior




	
You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy




	
You think the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of


   all time

	
You have a rag for a gas cap




	
You had a toothpick in your mouth when your wedding pictures


   were taken

	
You've ever used a weed eater indoors




	
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand




	
You wait to break wind in bed so you can fan the covers on


   your spouse

	
You have a fly-strip hanging above the kitchen table




	
Your matchbook doubles as a toothpick