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From a218@mindlink.UUCP Thu Sep 21 11:21:53 1989
From: a218@mindlink.UUCP (Charlie Gibbs)
Subject: What those proposals really mean
I came across this while cleaning out some old files...
PROPOSAL PHRASE MEANING
--------------- -------
You are fortunate indeed to have If we don't get some revenue
contacted a manufacturer who can from you this year we won't
deliver the equipmentwithin the make our budget.
six-month delivery period, which
we estimate you require.
We have carried out an exhaustive Look at the number of times
and comprehensive survey of your we've taken you to lunch.
problems.
Furthermore, in a multiprogramming We can't do it on one machine.
environment,two machines would offer
an element of parallel processing
which would not otherwise be possible
on any computer equipment you are
likely to consider.
We cannot overemphasize the We have no floating-point
importance of this decimal hardware.
arithmetic capability.
Our third-generation equipment There will be no local backup.
provides the highest standard of
reliability.
While we have not been shown detailed We can't understand your
flow charts and description of your specification, but the last
production control systems, we one we did took four hours.
estimate that the computer time
required each week should not exceed
four hours.
No detailed knowledge of the You will have to hire
interface to the communications a specialist who can
network is required by the user's understand it.
programming staff.
Using our high-level COBOL compiler, 02 NICTRB REDEFINES SLSGTB
programs can now be written in the PIC X(30).
English language.
This particular peripheral is We don't make it, and never
available on a purchase-only basis. want to see it again once
you have bought it.
Local backup with comparable We are hoping to sell a
installations will be provided. similar configuration to
another company 350 miles
away.
The software we have recommended is We will start writing it as
in the advanced development stage. soon as you sign the order.
The equipment can be delivered to We cannot deliver a machine
suit your requirements, but we for two years.
estimate that you will not be ready
to take delivery until considerable
systems work has been carried out.
Independent assessment has rated If you don't want our computer
our data preparation equipment please buy our keypunches.
among the best available.
In accordance with our policy of We hereby divest ourselves of
progressive improvement, the right any responsibility for what we
is reserved to alter any detail of have said, written, or are
price, specification, or terms about to say or write.
without notice.
(Taken from the October 1968 issue of Datamation)