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Have you ever wondered who the slobs sitting up in the board room think the audience is when they issue their midday commercials? You know, the commercials you see when your watching a repeat of a show you've seen nine times? It was made before 1972 and it seems that your TV isn't putting out enough green. These guys think we are all alcoholic slobs who have among other things chemical dependency, a couple of unfinished divorces, the education of a third grader, and desperate need for a green card even though we were born in Des Moines. Lets review the well to do artists that appear between Leave It To Beaver and The Twilight Zone. We'll start with the Bryman School. Here you'll be working with dentists (probably Dr. Cambell) cleaning some little brats teeth or telling some ex-con his next appointment will be in four months. They may be O.K. but the wheels on the bottom of their trailer-school make me a little worried about quick getaways. Then comes Airco Technical School. They appear a little more reputable. They even interview some guy on the job telling how his life has changed.... Interviewer: 'Say Willie, come on over here and read, ah I mean, ah tell the people out there your success with our school. Willie: 'Ya man, I ain't had no schoolin or nothin and when I came here to Airco I got me myself an ejumacation and as soon as probation officer picks me up after work i can spend my doe. If you'll excuse'm me I's gotta go.' Interviewer: 'Well folks there you have it another graduate from Airco Tech.' If you haven't been insulted yet along comes Larry Parker. He would just love to dip his greedy little hands in your in to your pocket and makeoff with his share of your misery expenses. One of these days he'll probably have a special bonus: come in before the end of the month and get a free whiplash collar. His buddy, I forgot his name, cries out 'It doesn't matter what the insurance policy says it whats the law says...'. Don't they realize the insurance company IS the law? The booze police come next. The make priests feel guilty at Sunday mass. They always show two millionaires talking out in front of one their houses looking at a dent in the neighbors by laughing at your wrecked Porsche? The next commercial really makes you fell a like there is hope. At Control Datayou'll be designing space stations in as little as two weeks with your Bachelors of Engineering and Computer Technology Degree (crapola). They really amaze me. I know guys who have real PhD's and and can't evan work a soldering iron. How come the instructors there have no teeth and always have a brown bag under their desk ?Last (and definitely least) comes our favorite clown. You can guess who he is. He comes from the east. Strike one. He wears a perm to add cool California youth. Strike two. Right! Its Len from public insurance. He's not an athlete or any famous movie celebrity. His clientele consists 8 time convicted drunk drivers and cousins of Ma Barkers getaway gang drivers. He is going to give you a really great deal. His scale starts at assigned risk! You can drive as long as its only to church and to the mail box to pay your premiums. But remember:'Its no prawblim.' Oh well, I got to go now. As soon as Im finished with this drink I going to eat breakfast and pick up my kids from the custody of their mother. Those little punks better shut up because I got to study for my welding test. Today (hiccup) we 're being test on how to repair dents in our cars. C.O. 1985 Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open