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REAL PHONY HOUSE PLANTS Few people react adversely to the calming presence of tropical foliage indoors. There is a quality of benign serenity to a green leafy plant near a window or sitting in its pot unobtrusively in a corner of the living room. Psychological studies have shown, in fact, that the presence of indoor plants in homes and offices tends to improve human relationships and even worker productivity. "The biggest problem with indoor plants," according to Harley Smithers, a horticulturist and foliage researcher based in Fort Myers, Fla., "is that they almost always begin a slow death upon reaching their indoor habitat. Most begin to look ratty within weeks." In response to the problem of caring for indoor plants, many firms market plastic or silk replicas of popular foliage plants. These fake plants have no need of water, light, temperature control or care -- other than occasional dusting. But, according to Ethyl Freeman, an interior designer, "everyone knows a fake plant is phony. Silks and plastics just don't do the job for people." Says horticulturist Smithers: "Our controlled studies, in which identical environments, differing only in that one was decorated with living plants and the other with fakes -- very good fakes at that -- showed that, aside from decorative values, the habitat with fake plants provided none of the human benefits -- such as increased productivity -- that the habitat with live plants did." Now a company based in southern California has introduced "Real Phonies," a line of 'live' fake plants which undulate in air currents, require periodic watering with an electrolyte solution (to recharge batteries), and grow! "Our phonies are so realistic relative to the environment that people tend to react to them as they would real, living, natural plants. The only difference is cost," says a company spokesman. Real Phonies look like very good fake plants. Most people have to take a second look to determine that, in truth, they are not living plants. Hidden in the pot, however, are controls which move the foliage, alter its appearance according to a pre-programmed set of rules based on time between watering or temperature changes. Some Real Phonies can be programmed to react adversely to loud noises; others can be made to simulate growth by means of air-pressure controls on telescoping branches. Are Real Phonies a potential panacea for procrastinating plant lovers? Not yet. "We have yet to crack the price barrier," mentions the company spokesman. "Real Phonies start out at $4950 per plant." "That's about a hundred times the average cost of a live plant," says Harley Smithers. "About fifty times the cost of a good fake," says Ethyl Freeman. "But, when averaged over their useful 'life,'" says Real Phonies' company spokesman, "they are actually competitive." Still, they have to be watered AND dusted. Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open