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/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\ /\/\ /\/\ Durations: /\/\ /\/\ How Long Things Take /\/\ /\/\ (revisited) /\/\ /\/\ Volume I /\/\ /\/\ Written by: /\/\ /\/\ Dr. Atomic /\/\ /\/\ /\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Some of the things in this file were taken from the book "Durations:The Encyclopedia of How Long Things Take" by Stuart A. Sandow. Others were left out of the book for some reason, things that are related to the pirate world, so I included them here... (This file is basically intended for informational purposes, impressing your friends with, or to otherwise trip out on...) Call Snark Island Cat-Fur (619) 448-5616 The Embassy CS/CF (619) 459-6119 .00000001 of a second --------------------- Flourescence to take place in highly pigmented organic molecules The average ware leech on an AE line to decide he will take a certain program .000001 of a second ------------------- One hundred successive generations of neutrons to occur producing one billion billion fissions .000024 of a second ------------------- A TV sweep circuit to produce horizontal light on a screen .003 of a second ---------------- A computer to lose its data in the event of power failure if data is not stored in a central processor The average ware leech to find a blank initialized disk .01 of a second --------------- The sensation of toothache pain to reach the brain of a cat A frif'C i ???4? @ ? `- (? e@ ? H?W:H C)?A?\?B H! " @L d `? ?e ??XXXZR??-)@pp???O??? ???? ?O????O???HO? ?O? ????O?????? ?O?? ?p?p???O???O? ??p?@@@@@@@@@@@@@@pp?O???HO? ?O??O???????O?????? ???????? ???? ?O??O??O????pp?? pp?p??????O? ??p?@@@@@@@@@@@@@pp??O??O? ?O??pp?p?O? ??p?@@@@@@@pp??? O??O??? ??G????O??? O???O? ????? `an explosion A phone phreak to hang up after an operator connects with the conference he is on 6 seconds ------------- Most tents to catch fire after exposure to flame The average pirate to think of his latest wares The average catalog to send with Cat-fur 18 seconds ---------- The number of larcenies committed in the united states to increase by one 10-20 seconds ---------- Male chimpanzees to reach climax after initiating sexual relations Male ware leeches to reach climax after booting "Softporn Adventure" 25 seconds ---------- The shortest cycle of a home trash compactor 30 seconds ---------- The metaphase of mitosis in a fruit fly embryo Whales and elephants to copulate (not together, of course...) 34 seconds ---------- The number of auto thefts commited in the United States to increase by one 43 seconds ---------- Number of violent crimes (murder, rape, robbery or assault) committed in the united states to increase by one 1 minute -------- Prompt initial radiation to be measureable following a nuclear explosion A pneumatic pile driver to sink a sheet piling for a basement foundation 2 feet through clay and 9 feet through sand The heart of a shrew to beat 1,000 times The heart of a modem geek to beet 10,000 times when a sysop answers voice To fill 340, 16-ounce bottles of Coke at the bottling plant A party animal to consume 1 beer after a party has been in progress for 5 minutes (personal experience) 1 minute, 33 seconds -------------------- To ride the roller coaster at Excelsior Amusement Park, Lake Minnetonka, Minneapolis-St. Paul 2 minutes --------- The population of California to increase by one The maximum duration of copulation between kangaroo rats 3 minutes --------- To cook a 3-minute egg after the water is boiling Dr. Encinitas to finish a sentence 4 minutes --------- Each of six eating and watering periods a day on an automated chicken ranch 5 minutes --------- to kill the microorganisms responsible for botulism in canned pears by exposing them to temperatures of 115 degrees C To feel the somatic effects of LSD after an oral dose A marble factory to turn out 1,000 glass marbles To be put into a hypnotic trance 6 minutes --------- To feel the somatic effects of an unmodified Net-Works bulletin board 6 minutes 34 seconds -------------------- The length of the song "You Won't Change Me" by Black Sabbath 10 minutes ---------- Duration of the first dream after falling asleep To declaw a pet To get a good connection with Minneapolis-St. Paul 15 minutes ---------- Life span of average phone call to Pirates Bay A stripper to lose 36 calories during her act Intervals between breaths of a hibernating jumping mouse Number of wares of a leech on an AE line to increase by one 30 minutes ---------- Side effects of a toxic dose of iron to manifest themselves after ingestion 35 minutes ---------- A speed reader to read an entire issue of Time or Newsweek A ware leech to read this text file at 300 baud, then go back and decide he wants to download it 40 minutes ---------- A guest at a cocktail party to consume a drink after the party has been in progress for 2 hours (The Wine And Spirits Guide--1974) 55 minutes ---------- A session of psychoanalysis with Sigmund Freud 1 hour ------ Maximum nightly homework given to Russian first-graders The population of a keg party to increase by 50 To regain driving faculties after consumption of each ounce of alcohol 1 hour 22 minutes ----------------- Total period during which people dream during a night's sleep Two Hours --------- Asprin to reach its peak effectiveness in the body An average phone conversation with The Spaz Three Hours ----------- A Duraflame log to burn Time the average modem geek spends on any one AE line Four Hours ---------- Mimimum nightly homework given by high school teachers The lifeless star Cygnus X-3 to rotate around its partner star Seven Hours ----------- Average time the Camel Jockey spends on a single conference duriH?O???O? "%s??p?fd?#?(XBD 8? Hx ? ? h B c?`??@ ' ?? ? ? ?" ? ? ?-?????? * CBH4" B "@ d*PA ?? ?A&(D?? a? L@ ?BN?? Ci??b ? ? ?F??M$?A t?%h E?N!I?0??& 2^??????@???@???@P????????????@????@?????@??????????@?????X@???????@???@?????@????????X@???\Rdh@?????ZZZZZZZZ???@??????????@??@???@?????@??@????????@??@b``?????@???@????@????@????????@???@?????????@????@???????????@????????????@????@hairs from the human head The maximum amount of time a sysop can spend away from his BBS without getting crash attempts, complaints, gripes, bitches, or bizarre messages That's it for Volume I...Volume II will probably go from 24 hours to 1 year. (out between 24 hours-1 year from now)