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From GORMAN_B@PRIME1.LANCASHIRE-POLY.AC.UK Tue Oct 3 20:05:33 1989
From: GORMAN_B@PRIME1.LANCASHIRE-POLY.AC.UK
Subject: Ailments
[] Have you exhausted the excuses for taking a day off? Are all your
grannies dead? Does the boss no longer believe the one about the
crippled aunt who keeps falling over?
[] They're all in a new book, "The Complete Hypochondriac", by the
american author Dr E R Plunkett, published by Robert Hale #5.95
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AIR CONTROLLERS SYNDROME: Peptic ulcers occuring among air traffic
controllers, as a result of job stress {Illinois Medical Journal, 72}
ALOPECIA WALKMANIA: Loss of hair from prolonged use of personal stereo
headphones. {Journal of the American Medical Association, 1984}
ANCHORMAN GLAZE: Glazed-eye look of TV anchorman caused by looking at
the teleprompter through glaring camera lights.
{Syracuse, New York, TV station, 1960}
ARTIC TEMPER: Extreme irritability developing amongst arctic explorers
exposed to darkness, monotony, isolation and sensory depravation.
{Lancet, 1910}
BARBERS BREASTS: Irritation of female hairdressers' nipples caused by
penetrating hair clippings.
{Clinical and Experimental Dermatology, 1982}
BEER DRINKERS FINGER: Swelling, bluish discoloration and wasting of
finger caused by placing pop-top beer can rings on finger. {JAMA, 68}
BINGO BRAIN: The headache assocated with carbon monoxide intoxication
which occurs after spending long hours in smoke filled bingo halls.
{Canadian Medical Association, 1982}
BIRDWATCHERS TWITCH: The nervous excitement of spotting a species for
the first time. {New Scientist, 1982}
BODY BUILDERS PSYCHOSIS: Psychotic episodes associated with the use of
anabolic steroids; causing hallucinations, paranoid delusions,
grandiose beliefs and manic-depressive sysmptoms. {Lancet, 1987}
BOOKSELLERS BENDS: Sickness caused by changes in atmospheric pressure
as the book the customer wants is always on the top shelf. {?}
BULL MENS HAND: Numbness and pain in the index and middle fingers
amongst artificial inseminators of cattle due to the constrictive
effect of the rubber gloves and sleeve worn for this purpose.
{Irish Medical Association, 1974}
CASINO FEET: Soreness of the feet caused by standing in front of slot
machines for long periods of time. {Wilmington Morning Star, 1981}
CHICKEN NECK WRINGERS FINGER: Partial dislocation and arthritis of
middle finger joint from continued use of this finger to dislocate
chickens necks for slaughtering. {BMA Journal, 1955}
CHRISTMAS DEPRESSION: Psychological stress during holidays related to
the use of alcohol and social pressures. {JAMA, 1982}
CREDIT-CARD-ITIS: Pain over the buttock and down thigh due to pressure
on nerve from a wallet stuffed with credit cards.
{New England Medical Journal, 1966}
DISCO DIGIT: A sore finger from snapping fingers while dancing.
{New England Medical Journal}
DOG WALKERS ELBOW: Pain caused by constant tension and tugs from a dog
leash. {New England Medical Journal, 1979}
ELECTRONIC SPACE-WAR VIDEO-GAME EPILEPSY: Epilepsy caused by the
flashing lights of electronic video games. {BMA Journal, 1982}
ESPRESSO WRIST: Pain in espresso coffee machine operators from strong
wrist motions required to make the coffee. {JAMA, 1956}
FLIP-FLOP DERMATITIS: Skin disease on feet from wearing rubber
flip-flops. {BMA Journal, 1965}
FRISBEE FINGER: Cutting of finger from strenuous throwing of a frisbee
{New England Medical Journal, 1975}
GENU AMORIS: Swelling and pain in the knee from making love in an
unusual position. {Arthritis and Rheumatism Journal, 1976}
GOLF ARM: Shoulder and elbow pain after too many rounds of golf.
{BMA Journal, 1896}
GUITARISTS GROIN: Inflammation of veins on inside of thigh caused by
pressure of guitar. {BMA Journal, 1974}
HOOKERS ELBOW: Painful shoulder swelling suffered by fishermen
repeatedly jerking upwards on a fishing line.
{New England Medical Journal, 1981}
HOUSWIFITIS: Nervous symptoms related to spending too much time
managing a busy household. {Centrescope, 1976}
HUMPERS LUMP: Swelling suffered by hotel porters from lugging heavy
bags. {Diseases of Occupations, 1975}
ICE-CREAM FROSTBITE: Frostbite on the lips from prolonged contact with
ice-cream. {New England Medical Journal, 1982}
JAZZ BALLET BOTTOM: Painful abscesses suffered by dancers who
frequently spin on their bottoms. {Daily Telegraph, 1987}
JEANS FOLLICULITIS: Irritation of the hair follicles on the bottom,
groin, and thighs caused by ultra-tight jeans.
{New England Medical Journal, 1981}
JOGGERS NIPPLE: Nipple irritation caused by shirt friction when women
joggers dont wear a bra. {New England Medical Journal, 1977}
JOYSTICK DIGIT: Trigger finger pain following prolonged use of video
game joysticks. {JAMA, 1987}
KNIFE SHARPENERS CRAMP: Painful hand swelling from sharpening too many
knives. {Diseases of Occupations, 1975}
LABEL LICKERS TONGUE: Ulcers in mouth from sensitivity to stick labels
{Dangerous Trades, 1902}
LOVERS PALSY: Numbness of forearm from compression of nerve trapped in
an unusual position. {Western Journal of Medicine, 1977}
MONEY COUNTERS CRAMP: Painful seisure of muscles from counting too
much cash. {English University Press, 1975}
MOTORWAY BLUES: The sort of headaches noted by drivers on congested
motorways. {BMA Journal, 1963}
NUNS KNEE: Swelling of kneeecap from repeated kneeling in prayer.
{Diseases of Occupations, 1975}
OYSTER SHUCKERS KERATITIS: Eye irritation from contact with fragments
of oyster shells. {BMA Journal, 1896}
PANTIE GIRDLE SYNDROME: Tingling or swelling of feet from wearing a
too-tight pantie girdle. {BMA Journal, 1972}
PLAYERS LIVER: The hazard of spending too long in the bar instead of
playing the game. {Encyclopedia of Sports, 1971}
QUICK-DRAW LEG: Bullet wound in leg from practising fast draw from gun
in belt holster. {JAMA, 1966}
REFLEX HORN SYNDROME: Tendency for drivers waiting in traffic jams to
toot horns. {New England Medical Journal, 1976}
RETIRED HUSBAND SYNDROME: Tension, headaches, depression and anxiety
felt by women whose husbands have just retired.
{Western Journal of Medicine, 1984}
SEAMSTRESSES BOTTOM: Hardening of skin following long-term trauma of
rocking on the hips while operating a sewing machine.
{American Family Physician, 1979}
SICK SANTAS SYNDROME: Low back pain from lifting heavy children and
parcels and aquired illnesses from multiple contact with kids.
{JAMA, 1986}
SLOT MACHINE TENDINITIS: Tenderness of the shoulder from playing slot
machines. {New England Medical Journal, 1981}
SYNDROME SYNDROME: Any medical reaction to reading about other peoples
syndromes. {British Medical Journal}
TELEVISION LEGS: Loss of normal flexibility of the legs from being
slumped in a chair in front of the box for too long. {JAMA, 1958}
TOILET SEAT DERMATITIS: Skin irritation on buttocks from spending too
much time on the toilet. {Archive of Dermatology, 1933}
UNIFORM RASH: Skin irritation of neck, chest and arms from wearing new
uniforms. {BMJ, 1973}
VOLKSWAGEN DERMATITIS: Allergic skin reaction caused by rubber bumper
guards. {Archive of Dermatology, 1971}
WANKERS CRAMP: .............. {trad}
WELLIE THROWERS FINGER: Injury to finger joints sustained in wellie
throwing contests. {BMJ, 1986}
WORKING WIFE SYNDROME: Fatigue, irritability, headaches and diminished
sex drive from strain of doing two jobs. {Lancet, 1966}
YOGA FOOT DROP: Paralysis of foot due to compounded pressure from
practicing Yoga positions. {JAMA, 1971}
ZIP INJURY: Injury to the penis from entrapment in zip. {BMJ, 1977}
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| Source: The Sun, September 28th 1989 |
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