💾 Archived View for spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › fwksfun.hum captured on 2023-11-14 at 10:10:45.
⬅️ Previous capture (2023-06-14)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Fireworks foibles and follies. "Proof though the night that the flag was still there" The New York Daily News has awarded the State of Florida its "Most Patriotic Independence Celebration Award." Where on the steps of the state capitol, state Fire Marshal Bill Gunter lashed firecrackers to a Raggedy Ann doll and set them off! The doll suffered burns to its hand and torso. "We wanted the public to see how serious the problem is. This doll could have easily been a child." It takes me thinks, takes a sick mind to think of lashing firecrackers to a child! Fairfield, Ill. 1985. "Two people were hospitalized and seven others were injured in an explosion at Fairfield's Lakeside Park. Some accounts indicated bottle rocket shot from the crowd behind a fence some 25 yards away from the fireworks landed in one of the eight cases of aerial display shells." San Francisco, Ca. 1985. A "fog-proof" aerial display was to start about 9:00 p.m. If Crissy Field is fogged in, technicians were to substitute low-altitude fireworks for a portion of the show! Las Vegas, Nev. 1984. A pre-teen boy caused 30,000 damage to a home by firing rockets inside the house, setting the drapes on fire. A spokesman said the youth would not be charged, but the boy would receive counseling. [ I have heard that shoe polish is good for hemorrhoids!] Elkton, Md. 1985. A Cecil County raid netted 225,000 pieces of illegal fireworks and explosives. [20 cases of firecrackers should about cover it.] Saugus, Mass. 1985. Four men, a juvenile and a woman were arrested in police raids for allegedly selling and warehousing more then $150,000 in illegal fireworks. Police found five cars filled with fireworks, and estimated their value at between $50,000 and $100,000, and the value of the fireworks in the home at $100,000. [If you can get $20,000 worth of fireworks in a car, you must be a magician! PS the total haul was 70 cases - that works out to $2142.86 a case!!!] Everett, Wa. 1985. "About a half-mile of brush was ablaze early today on the 2-mile-long sand jetty, when Thor, a 150-pound, 24-inch-wide shell, misfired at the end of the city's fireworks display. The $3000 shell was to have shot 2,700 feet into the sky with 10 smaller shells and burst into a flower-shaped rainbow of jets over a square mile with a boom heard in Seattle, about 15 miles away." Shamokin, Pa. 1985. In the central Pennsylvania coal town of Shamokin a 160-pound chrysanthemum shell six feet around [would you beleive 24"] went off as planned with a colorful display seen 24 to 30 miles away. The shell burst 1,200 feet over the center of the town at the end of a 360-shell finale. It was touched off electrically by an operator in fire-resistant clothing, ear protectors and a hard hat standing nearly a half-mile away. Amherst, Ma. 1985. A U of Mass student was injured when a homemade "Roman candle" used to shoot toilet paper rolls out dormitory windows exploded. The student was "apparently packing firecrackers into a small metal trash can and was using the device to shoot toilet paper rolls from the window of the dormitory." Peabody, Ma. 1985. Police charged a 17 year-old high school student with making a least 10 homemade bombs and selling them to classmates out of a lunch box. "Stanisos allegedly made the bombs estimated to be 200 to 300 times more powerful than a firework called a cherry bomb, in his bedroom, using books of making fireworks and potassium perchlorate, aluminum dark pyro and sulfur he obtained though an out-of-state mail order company. Two bombs were thrown this week at the Peabody Vocational High School, one causing a 12-inch hole in the metal and plaster roof." Gillette, Wyo. 1984. The July 4th fireworks show, billed as the biggest in city history, was turned into a short but spectacular display when a 12 inch shell burst too close to the ground and set off nearly $10,000 worth of shells, sending workers scrambling for cover. A nearby pickup truck was blown apart and fire department vehicles sustained broken windshields and headlights. "Everybody is ready to do it again next year. You get bucked off a horse you get back on again." Lewiston, NY. 1984. The fireworks display at Artpark in Lewiston went off without a hitch Wednesday night, until it came time for the grand finale. State police said 29 pieces of aerial salute fireworks were stolen during the show! Oakland, CA. 1984. The Port of Oakland held a safe and sane July Fourth celebration Wednesday night through no fault of its own, when the truck carrying the fireworks to the display broke down and failed to arrive. Lansing, MI. 1985. The Michigan Court of Appeals ruled a woman who was attacked and bitten on the nose by an intoxicated spectator at a fireworks display cannot sue the city of Wyandotte or BASF Corp., which co-sponsored the display. Portland, OR. 1985. Police warned that homemade explosive with power equivalent to two sticks of dynamite were being sold to people who probably believe they only are buying large fireworks. These 6 inch long, 3 inch in diameter "fireworks" filled with a pound of flash powder, sold for $25 each. Los Angeles, CA. 1985. "A family that has celebrated July 4th for 12 consecutive years with elaborate fireworks shows will attempt to set a Guinness World Book Record by setting off 1.25 million fireworks [firecrackers]. Another attempt at a world record will be an 800-foot cascading fireworks waterfall." Indianapolis, Ind. 1985. "An employee for the Indiana Dept of Highways was arrested and charged with the illegal sale and possession of pyrotechnics, after he was discovered selling the fireworks from a department-owned truck." Omaha, Neb. 1985. A star basketball, baseball and football player lost one finger and part of two others when an M-80 exploded in his hand. He lighted the M-80 and started to toss it from the vehicle when he noticed a policeman nearby, while trying to put the fuse out it exploded in his left hand. The blast also shattered the car's windshield and blew a hole in the steering wheel. Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open