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TO: All Department Heads
FROM: Personnel Department
SUBJ: New Employee Evaluation Forms
NAME:__________________________________ DATE:_______________________
JOB TITLE:_____________________________ DATE HIRED:_________________
DEPARTMENT:____________________________ SUPERVISOR:_________________
________________________________________________________________________
ACCURACY __DOES SHITTY WORK AND CONSTANTLY FUCKS UP
__DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT IF OUTPUT IS RIGHT OR WRONG
__PRETTY GOOD, ONLY AN OCCASIONAL SCREW-UP
__DOES GOOD WORK IF NOT PRE-OCCUPIED WITH BROADS/STUDS
________________________________________________________________________
RATE OF __DOESN'T DO A FUCKING THING ALL DAY LONG
WORK __WORKS ONLY IF KICKED IN THE ASS VERY OFTEN
__DOES A LOT OF WORK AT REVIEW TIME
__GOES LIKE A SON-OF-A-BITCH IF HE THINKS HE'LL GET A RAISE
__FASTEST MOTHER-FUCKER IN THE WEST
________________________________________________________________________
DEPENDABILITY
__COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT MOTHER-HUMPING JERK
__NEEDS FREQUENT THREATS AND ASS CHEWINGS
__CONSCIENTIOUS ONLY IF SEX URGE IS SATISFIED
__USUALLY DEPENDABLE AT SALARY REVIEW TIME
__REALLY A RELIABLE COCK-SUCKER
________________________________________________________________________
KNOWLEDGE __STUPID BASTARD, DOESN'T KNOW HIS ASS FROM FIRST BASE
__KNOWS JUST ENOUGH TO BE DANGEROUS
__ADEQUATE BRAIN POWER, BUT DOESN'T USE IT
__KNOWS MOST PHASES OF THE JOB
__SON-OF-A-BITCH REALLY KNOWS HIS SHIT
________________________________________________________________________
COOPERATION
__PISS POOR ATTITUDE, THINKS HE IS BEING SHIT ON
__OFTEN PISSES OFF CO-WORKERS
__COOPERATIVE ONLY IF ASS IS KISSED FREQUENTLY
__BROWN NOSER FIRST CLASS
__COOPERATIVE IF PAID ENOUGH
________________________________________________________________________
ORDERLINESS
__SLOPPY, DIRTY, FILTHY BASTARD-WORSE THAN OSCAR
__PISSES IN ASH TRYS, SHITS IN THE CORNER
__SOMETIMES EMPTIES ASH TRAYS AND HITS THE WASTBASKET
__NEAT AND ORDERLY
__NEATER THAN FELIX
_________________________________________________________________________
HANDLING __CONSTANTLY PISSES OFF THE TROOPS
AND __FREQUENTLY GETS THE FINGER
DEVELOPING__OCCASIONALLY GETS TOLD TO GET FUCKED
PEOPLE __ONLY THE JANITORS OBEY HIM
__CARRIES HATCHET AND GETS EXCELLENT RESULTS
___________________________________ ___________________________________
EMPLOYEE'S SIGNATURE SUPERVISOR'S SIGNATURE