💾 Archived View for spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › holiday › santa6.fun captured on 2023-11-14 at 10:06:10.
⬅️ Previous capture (2023-06-14)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Santa's Clothes -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Prior to the 1680's, Santa wore anything that was warm. Some years his clothes were made up of reindeer hair and were brown; some years he wore cotton and wool, and his clothes were white. But early in the 1680's, Santa realized he needed a trademark, so people would know it was him coming down their chimney, and not some robber. Since that time he's worn the same clothes every year -- though he usually reserves the red overcoat and the red hat for his Christmas rounds. As might be imagined, Mrs. Santa has a real laundering chore when Santa gets back from his Christmas rounds. Each chimney he goes down makes him progressively dirtier, though his outer clothes are specially designed to absorb soot so he doesn't track it all over everybody's houses. But by the time he's done his clothes are filled in every thread and seam and fiber. Mrs. Claus cleans the clothes using a very simple, though effective, method: she lays them outside and lets the snow build up on them. By the spring thaw (such as there is at the North Pole), the clothes are fresh and clean again, ready to wear! CLOTHES DESCRIPTION: Santa's Special Vest ____________________ All of Santa's clothing is special, but his vest is particularly so. He acquired his vest long before any other part of his outfit, and it's the only article of clothing that he hasn't needed to replace. Long ago, when Santa was still young, he was able to do a great favor for a group of tribesmen in Afghanistan. He literally saved their necks -- and in gratitiude they gave him a magic vest. "Keep this vest close to your heart forever," they told him, "and it will serve you well." Their promise has been fulfilled many times over. As the years have passed, Santa has discovered all kinds of uses for his magic vest. For example, it protects him against flying birds (even big ones) and violent clouds. And recently he's discovered a particularly nice feature of the vest's pockets. Although they look small, for some reaon they'll hold a great deal of stuff. He puts them to good use. As he makes his Christmas rounds he is given thousands of cookies and glasses of milk. It's too much for even Santa to eat, but he can't refuse the gift. So he takes it all with him. Into one vest pocket goes all the cookies. Into the other goes the milk. After he gets home, and after the elves wake up from their winter's nap, they enjoy cookies and milk through the whole summer! All because of the Afghan vest! Santa's Red Hat _______________ Has white trim and white ball. The ball is not simply decorative, but helps keep Santa's neck warm. The Coat ________ Fur-lined inside. Santa explains he wears red "because it keeps the flies and mosquitoes off. They don't like red." (Try it--it works!) The Trousers ____________ Are soft leather and come from the Red Wooger. They are waterproof, which is an urgent necessity when you're flying around outside in the winter. The suspenders are more than for show, since Santa often forgoes the belt when he's not dressing formally. Santa's Underwear _________________ Is made of elf hair. It took many seasons of haircuts to collect enough of the hair -- but it was worth it. The Belt ________ Made in the USA and donated by Smith Bros. Beltworks. Santa has worn the same belt for 129 Christmases now. Santa's Socks _____________ Are made of virgin wool fro sheep raised in Argentina. Both the heel and toe are reinforced. The Boots _________ Are fur-lined. In very cold weather Santa can fold the top of the boots up over his calves to keep his legs warmer. On anyone else, Santa's outfit would make the person look really silly. But Santa isn't just anyone -- he's made the wardrobe into a symbol of happiness.