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Von: Michael Marsden Michael.Marsden%newcastle.ac.uk @ SUB (Mo, 08.07.91 07:12)
- aus alt.auicide.holiday (Usenet) -
SUICIDE - Methods
1. HANGING
2 methods
1. asphyxiation (dangle on end of rope for 10 minutes)
Time: 5 to 10 minutes
Available: Rope, solid support 10 foot above ground
Certainty: Fairly certain (discovery, rope/support snapping)
Notes: Brain damage likely if rescued. Very painful depending on
rope. Most common EFFECTIVE form of suicide. See later
"Asphyxiation" section. Someone did this about 10 meters
from where I was sleeping once. Worked perfectly.
2. breaking neck
Time: Should be instant if it does break. See previous if not
Available: Rope, solid support, 10 foot space below, several above
Certainty: Very certain if the rope/support doesn't break
Notes: Minimal danger of discovery (depends on location). Painless
if you drop far enough (8 foot is optimum). Make sure that
the rope is tied securely to something STRONG!! It has to
support your weight MULTIPLIED by the force of the drop
(in g). Use a hangman's knot (with the knot at the back of
your neck).
2. POISON
Availability of effective poisons restricted.
Normally painless, but depends on drug.
Large danger of discovery because slow.
Available compounds dangerous, have side effect if survived.
Fairly common, usually ineffective (depends on drug, dose and luck).
Takes from 10 seconds to fortnight or more.
In general, you need to stay away from medical help until you actually die,
but there are exceptions to this (that have been pointed out in the text).
Common drugs:
Cyanide (HCN?)
Dosage: 50 mg Hydrogen Cyanide gas, 200-300 mg Cyanide salts
Time: seconds for HC, minutes Cs (empty stomach) hours (full s)
Available: very difficult to get hold of
Certainty: very certain
Notes: It helps to have an empty stomach (since the salts react
with the stomach acids to form H.C.). A full stomach can
delay death for up to four hours with the salts. Antidotes
to cyanide poisoning exist, but they have serious side
effects (they precipitate cyanide and similarly shaped
molecules from the blood stream. This frequently blocks
blood supply into toes, ears... so you could lose
one or two if you are "rescued"). What you can do, is
instead of taking the salts directly, drop 500mg or so
into a strong acid, and inhale the fumes. This will be
pure Hydrogen Cyanide, and you should die in 10 to 20
seconds.
The following is something I saw on the net:
"Hydrocyanic acid is one of the most poisonous substances
known; the inhalation of its fumes in high concentration
will cause almost immediate death. Hydrogen cyanide acts
by preventing the normal process of tissue oxidation
and paralyzing the respiratory center in the brain. Most
of the accidental cases are due to inhaling the fumes
during a fumigating process. In the pure state it kills
with great rapidity. Crystalline cyanides, such as
potassium or sodium cyanide are equally poisonous, since
they interact with the hydrochloric acid in the stomach
to liberate hydrocyanic acid. This poison has been used
for both homicide and suicide; in recent history, a
number of European Political figures carried vials of
cyanide salt for emergency self-destruction aand some
used them. Death resulted from amounts of only a
fraction of a gram. A concentration of 1 part in 500 of
hydrogen cyanide gas is fatal. Allowable working concen-
tration in most of the United States is 20 ppm. Two and
one-half grains of liquid acid has killed. The acid acts
fatally in about 15 minutes. The cyanide salts kill in
several hours. The average dose of the solution is 0.1 cc.
Since this is an extremely rapid poison, rapid action is
necessary. Occasionally the victim may make a few voluntary
actions before death results or alarming symptoms set in.
Death results from paralysis of the respiration. When a
smaller dose is taken the symptoms are diziness, headache,
and shortness of breath followed by convulsions, coma,
and collapse.
If amyl nitrate is available, have the victim inhale it
immediately for 20 seconds. Have the victim swallow 2
tablespoonfuls of hydrogen peroxide. Have the victim
inhale ammonia. Administer oxygen."
[ed - cure sounds pretty bad.. drink bleach?? yuk]
Aspirin (acetylsalicylic acid?)
Dosage: 20-30+ grammes (too many cause vomitting)
Time: hours to days, variable
Available: easy to get hold of (get soluble ones, & dissolve them)
Certainty: unreliable
Notes: Not recommended, fatal dose varies wildly, could cause
liver & kidney damage instead of death. OD causes strange
noises in your ears (like a video arcade) & projectile
vomiting after about 10 hours. Medical help generally
effective, so stay out of hospital for a couple of days.
May cause bleeding in your stomach/upper intestines.
Take with sodium bicarbinate (eg, bicarb. of soda), which
speeds up the absorbtion (sp?) significantly.
Paracetamol (aka acet[a|yl]minopren / tylenol)
Dosage: 15+ grammes, 20+ is better
Time: 10 hours fatal damage, but 2 weeks to actually die
Available: easy to get hold of
Certainty: fairly reliable
Notes: Once 10-12 hours is up, you've had it, but you still live
for a week or two after that. Probably better to wait 15
hours just to make sure. Horrible side effects
during this time (some of which are: acute toxic hepatitis,
renal failure, cerebral oedema, intra-abdominal bleeding,
aspiration pneumonia, haemophilia). Too small dose causes
severe liver damage. Accidental deaths are very common.
Sleeping tablets (don't know what kinds)
Dosage: 50+???
Time: unconsious in minutes, coma for hours or day,
death day or two. May survive coma.
Available: needs to be prescribed (in UK at any rate)
Certainty: semi-reliable, need to get dosage right
very reliable with plastic bag and rubber band
Notes: I don't have enough information about these. Combine
with an airtight plastic bag, and a rubber band to
get a very effective method. Also combine with half a
bottle of whisky, it helps.
May be quicker if you open up the capsules, and dissolve
the contents in water. May also mean that you won't puke
and lose the drug.
One of the teachers at my old school used barbiturates &
alcohol, they found her body in the morning.
Alcohol (spirits preferably, your choice)
Dosage: 1/2 litre vodka?, similar. Varies from person to person.
Time: about 8 hours
Available: good
Certainty: unreliable
Notes: will cause liver and kidney damage if 'rescued'
before death. Drink it all at the same time, quickly
as possible. Dosage is questionable, I don't have
any figures. Taking the spirits as an enema is supposed
to be a very quick way of absorbing alcohol, but a less
unpleasant way is to inject it. The dosage it takes to
kill you depends on whether you drink normally, the
state of your liver, whether you pass out on your back
or not (and probably also the phase of the moon!).
The following is from sci.med (on USENET):
"The fatal dose of pure alcohol in an average adult is
300-400 mL (750-1000 mL of 40% alcohol) if consumed in
less than one hour. Apart from the effects of overdosage,
death after alcohol consumption can occur as a result of
choking on vomit while unconscious. I don't believe any
permanent damage occured in the above case [ed - the poster
was talking about a specific case of a single very heavy
drinking session]. Consequences such as liver damage occur
after chronic consumption."
Water
Dosage: gallons of the stuff (14 litres mentioned)
Time: 12 hours or so?
Available: always available unless you're in Kuwait.
Certainty: so-so (not certain about this)
Notes: works by washing out the salts in your body, until
the cells fail (osmotic balance buggered up). You need
to keep drinking continually until you collapse. Unusual
method. Someone suggested it would also cause cramps.
The following is something from A.S.H., Dec. 1990.
"About a year ago a local newspaper carried a story about
a woman who had drunk herself to death. Apparently she
had injested something mildly poisonous, and when she
called her doctor asking him what to do, he told her to
drink lots of water and see him in the morning. She
got to it and managed to drink no less than 14 litres of
water before the osmotic balance in her body was so upset
it could no longer function and she died (don't know how
quickly)".
Bleach and other corrosives
Dosage: A bottle (litre or half litre)
Time: Hours/days
Available: Easily available
Certainty: Uncertain
Notes: Bloody painful - depends on your stomach getting
corroded, the stomach acids escaping, and doing their
dirty work in your vital organs. Not really my cup of
tea...
Insulin (injected)
Dosage: No idea
Time: Probably quite quickly into coma
Available: Difficult to get hold of unless you're a diabetic
or a vet
Certainty: Very certain if dose is high enough & not discovered
Notes: Supposed to be quite pleasant (eg insulin shock
treatments used for some psychiatric condition).
Petrol (in lungs/injected)
Dosage: "A Thimble-full" -20 ml?
Time: Seconds/minutes
Available: Common
Certainty: I'm not sure of the dosage, but fairly certain if
correct
Notes: Can also use LPG (propane/butane) on skin surface (since
these are light enough to go through the skin). Stick your
hand in a bucket of propane and see how many seconds you
last...
Oil of Wintergreen/Methyl Salicylate (in lungs/injected)
Dosage: Probably similar to petrol (20 ml)
Time: Don't know
Available: Not available in concentration
Certainty: Don't know
Notes: Don't have enough information on this one to be able
to say anything about it.
Carbon Monoxide
Dosage: 5% concentration or so?
Time: Minutes to hours depending on concentration
Available: You get it out of a car exhaust, you used to be able
to use "town gas" (eg, stick your head in the cooker)
but this is no longer available
Certainty: Fairly certain, as long as you aren't "rescued"
Notes: Causes brain damage.
Malathon (insecticide)
Dosage: A bottle (?)
Time: 2 to 3 hours
Available: From a large garden centre or DIY shop
Certainty: probable, given correct dosage
Notes: Drink undiluted, shake bottle first since it settles.
it causes diarhoea after about half an hour.
Caffiene
Dosage: 20 grammes
Time: not known
Available: Caffiene tablets available in Chemist shops
Certainty: don't know
Notes: I don't know very much about this.
Nitrogen gas (or other inert gas)
Dosage: Several litres uncompressed is minimum
Time: Minutes
Available: Try plumber, or welding supplies company
Certainty: Certain
Notes: This is really a form of asphyxiation, (see later),
but is particularly good since you don't experience
the lack of oxygen (what people really experience is
the EXCESS of carbon dioxide).
Potassium Chloride (injected in solution) / KCl
Dosage: not known (try 20cc injection of strong solution)
Time: Seconds to minutes
Available: Widely available
Certainty: Certain given correct dosage
Notes: Causes heart attack (which is painful). May be difficult
for coroner to realise it was suicide rather than a
natural heart attack. An excess of K+ in the blood
interferes with nerve signals, and stops muscles and
nerves from working. So when it reaches your heart, the
heart stops. Interesting to see what happens if you inject
it into your carotid artery, if it stops nervous tissue
from working.
Rat poison (Warfarin)
Dosage: not known
Time: Hours to terminal damage, days to actual death
Available: Available
Certainty: Certain given suffient dosage
Notes: This is one of the truly unpleasant poisons, along with
Paracetamol/Acetylminopren. I think it causes cerebral
haemorage (rat poison works by giving the unfortunate rat
haemophillia). Doctors can't do anything about it, they
just leave you to die in agony on an intensive care ward.
Chlorine gas
Dosage: not known - but probably sufficient generated in suggested
method
Time: not known
Available: Get about 4 litres of concentrated bleach, and the same
of ammonia
Certainty: Good
Notes: This was used in the first world war in the trenches, so
it's got to be effective. You go into a small room, block
off all the ventilation, and pour the bleach and ammonia
into a bucket. This produces chlorine, you breath it in,
and hey presto! I suspect that this is quite painful,
if you are "rescued" there is a danger of either lung
damage, or a slow lingering death.
Digitalis (Foxglove extract?)
Dosage: not known
Time: Probably minutes
Available: Do foxgloves grow in your area?
Certainty: probably good given sufficient dosage
Notes: Gives you a heart-attack. UNDETECTABLE after death, so
if you don't want to let your friends/relatives to know
that your death was a suicide use this. I don't know
how to extract digitalis from foxglove, nor do I know
what the dosage is. Heart attacks are painful, but the
advantages in using an undetectable method make this
very attractive.
Colchicine (Acetyltrimethylcolchicinic acid)
Dosage: 7 mg to 60 mg
Time: symptoms in about 4 hours, death in about 4 days
Available: Easily available (from large garden centre)
Certainty: certain
Notes: From the Autumn crocus (Colchicum Autumnale) /
royal lily (Gloriosa Superba). One flower of CA is
about 12 mg, so take at least five of them. 20g tuber
of GS provides 60mg, single seed of CA provides 3.5mg
(so take 18). Damages blood vessels and nerves, and
stops cell division. Don't know whether its painful or
not, but that bit about damaging nerves is worrying.
Best thing about this one is the name of the acid!
Nicotine (yep - distilled fags!)
Dosage: extract from 100g tabacco (possibly 150mg pure)
Time: not known (possibly several seconds for 150mg pure)
Available: Easily available
Certainty: not known
Notes: Soak 100 grammes of tabacco for a few days. You get a
brown mess. Strain off the tabacco, then simmer slowly
until most of the liquid has gone, leaving about 2
teaspoons of brown treacle-like stuff. Add it to your
night-time drink, and never wake up. Someone said the
other day that 150mg of pure nicotine would be fatal in
seconds.
Hydrazine
Dosage: As produced by reaction
Time: Not known, fortnight?
Available: Bottle of bleach & bottle of ammonia
Certainty: not known
Notes: Something quoted verbatim from the net:
"This is no joke, Dale. Several years ago at my high
school, one of the janitors innocently mixed together
half a bottle of bleach with half a bottle of of ammonia
in a small closet where the cleaning fluids were kept.
He passed out due to the hydrazine (not chlorine) gas
released in the reaction between the two chemicals. This
man was in agony for two weeks in an intensive care unit
in a local hospital with the majority of the inside
surface of his lungs damaged and untreatable before
he got lucky and died."
[ed - one of the more nasty methods]
Cocaine
Dosage: 1 ounce (don't know what that is in real weights..)
Time: 2 to 3 hours?
Available: Difficult
Certainty: not known
Notes: Read something in a newspaper... a coke dealer died
after eating an ounce of it, when the police raided
his house. Cause of death was a cardiac arrest 2 1/2
hours after the overdose.
3. JUMPING OFF BUILDINGS
Time: Instantanious if you are lucky, minutes/hours otherwise
Available: You need ten stories or higher, and access to the top floor
windows/roof. Bring a bolt cutter to get onto the roof
Certainty: 90% for 6 stories, increasing after that
Notes: Difficult to overcome fear of heights, many people can't do it.
Totally painless if high enough, but very frightening.
Easily discovered if seen on/near roof/windows. Access fairly
easy in a city, otherwise difficult. Risk of spending the
rest of your life in a wheelchair. Ever tried killing yourself
if you are paralysed from the neck down? Email conversations
suggest 10+ stories works ALMOST all of the time. Try to land
on concrete. Quote - "9 out of 10 people who fall 6 stories
will die"
4. SLITTING WRISTS OR OTHER (pathetic)
Time: Minutes if major artery cut, eternity otherwise
Available: You really need a razor sharp knife. Razors are pretty tricky
to hold when they are covered with blood
Certainty: Uncertain if you cut an artery, highly improbable otherwise
Notes: Painful at first. Danger of discovery. This is a very common
suicide 'gesture' and hardly ever results in anything other
than a scar. A lot of will power required to cut deeply into
groin or carotid arteries, which are the only ones likely to
kill you. Don't bother with this method. Cutting your throat
is difficult due to the fact that the carotid arteries
are protected by your windpipe (feel where your arteries are
with your fingertips, & slice from the side). I've seen photos
of people who have used this method - the depth of the cut
required is amazing. If you want to cut your wrists, cut along
the blue line (vein) on the underside of your wrist, but cut
deeply so that the artery underneath is exposed. Cut this
lengthways with a razor or similar.
5. BULLET
Time: Microseconds unless you are unlucky (mins/hours)
Available: Difficult in UK, easier in USA (get a shotgun)
Certainty: Certain
Notes: Painless if worked, otherwise painful & brain damage.
Danger of discovery of weapon or ammunition.
Not at all common in UK, more common in USA where guns
available. Brain damage & other effects if you survive.
Death either instantaneous, or prolonged.
Lots of will power needed to fire gun ('hesitation marks'
are bullets/pellets embedded in the wall, when you jerk
the gun as you fire). Bullet can miss vital parts in skull,
deflect off skull.
NOTE, fill mouth with water, aim about 45 degrees from
vertical, this is reliable* since shockwave from water will
kill instantly.
*NOTE, several people have suggested that this is unreliable.
See "Shotgun" below (since much more effective).
Ammunition to use is: .458 Winchester Magnum, or soft-point
slugs with .44 Magnum. Also you could use a sabot round, which
is a plastic wedge with a smaller thing in it. These rounds are
rather overkill, the phrase "elephant gun" has been used about
the .458 Winchester, but if you're going to go, do it with
a bang
6. ASPHYXIATION
Time: 5 mins to unconciousness, 10+ mins to brain death
Available: Anywhere there's a rope and something solid to tie it to
Certainty: Certain, if yoou don't get "rescued"
Notes: Panic reaction is very likely (unless inert gasses used).
One of the most effective and most used methods of suicide.
Probable brain damage if you are "rescued".
NOTE, this can only really be done in two ways: firstly,
when you are unconsious (eg, sleeping pills), or secondly,
by hanging. Combining with pure inert gasses is a very good
suggestion. See "Nitrogen" in the poisons section
7. AIR IN VEINS (basically just a myth)
Time: Eternity
Available: Plenty of air about... Need a hypodermic & syringe
Certainty: Almost zero (you might catch something from the needle)
Notes: This doesn't work, unless you inject absolutely massive
amounts of air (it all goes out of the lungs). Myth caused
by the way that doctors squirt a syringe before using it to
get rid of contaminants. If you have to try it, go for the
carotid artery, since this goes to the brain. If you want
a heart attack, you will have to inject something on the order
of 20-50ml every heart-beat (these are ball-park figures) for
several heart beats. Good luck
8. DECAPITATION
Time: Couple of seconds before conciousness fades
Available: Happen to have a train line nearby? Or a guillotine perhaps?
Certainty: Very certain, unless you pull away just before
Notes: See "jumping in front of trains". May be difficult to stop
pulling your head out of the way - OD on sleeping tablets
first
9. DISEMBOWELMENT (aka seppuku/hara kiri)
Time: Minutes
Available: Got a nice razor-sharp sword?
Certainty: Fairly certain, assuming that you managed to gut yourself
properly before passing out with the agony
Notes: Painful, even the Samurai used a 'second' to decapitate them
at the appropriate point, so don't expect to do much more than
give yourself peritonitis. Trendy for insane martial arts
fanatics and gay Japanese poets called Mishima.
10. DROWNING
Time: Minutes (usually 5 mins, but up to 20 mins in cold water)
Available: Anywhere there's deep water in a remote spot
Certainty: Good, just make sure you sink & can't swim
Notes: Put stones in your pockets, tie your legs & hands together,
and hop into the lake.. bit of a shock to the fisherman who
finds your rotting corpse stuck in his brand new net.
11. ELECTROCUTION
Time: Seconds / minutes
Available: Anywhere with high-tension, high-current lines & a good earth
Certainty: Somewhat dependant on luck & how much power goes through you
Notes: Don't bother with 110 or 240 volt mains, its just not enough.
Some people do get killed with household electricity, but only
after several minutes. Use high tension lines, stand in bare
feet on waterlogged ground (better still, but a piece of THICK
copper cable into the nearest river). Works best if current
path travels through your head, or through the heart. Just
burns you badly otherwise.
12. EXPLOSIVES
Time: 10 milliseconds, or similar (!)
Available: Difficult to get hold of detonator & good explosives
Certainty: Certain if detonator works properly
Notes: DON'T USE GUNPOWDER or other 'slow' explosives (eg,
homemade explosives). Use dynamite or 'Plastique', strap
it to your forehead with the detonator, and BOOM! The main
problem is with getting hold of high explosives (I know the
recipe for Nitro-Glycerine, but home manufacture is extremely
risky, and the product is unstable). If you can get a grenade,
use it, it's probably the best way of doing this one.
13. FREEZING TO DEATH
Time: several hours (15 minutes in very cold water)
Available: Got a large chest freezer? Is the outside temp < -10 degrees?
Certainty: good if you don't get found
Notes: Soak your cloths in water, get into freezer / outside
somewhere where you won't be found. Helps to get pissed
first - drink yourself silly. If you are near a very
cold supply of water (eg, the North Sea, or similar) which is
close to zero degrees, this is particularly good, since the
average lifespan of someone in the water is 15 minutes.
14. JUMPING IN FRONT OF TRAINS
Time: Seconds (or hours if unlucky)
Available: Anywhere near a HIGH-SPEED railway line
Certainty: Depends on your timing & speed of train. Go for decapitation
Notes: Probably better to put your neck on the line, since a glancing
blow would probably break your spine (& cripple you). High
speed trains need a kilometer to stop, so find a blind corner.
A friend's cousin did this, worked well.
15. SELF-IMMOLATION
Time: Seconds to days
Available: Anywhere you can get petrol & a match
Certainty: good as long as you are far away from medical help
Notes: bloody painful - one of the most agonising ways to die.
If you do survive, you will be disfigured for the rest
of your life.
Try mixing the petrol with an explosive like TNT or NG,
this will make it burn MUCH quicker, even if the explosive
is very dilute. My Dad worked at a dynamite factory, and knew
someone who used to put TNT into his car (1 teaspoon per
gallon). It burned out the engine in a couple of months.
16. STARVING TO DEATH
Time: Typically a month, although depends on your health to
start with, and how much fat is available
Available: Anywhere where you can't be force-fed
Certainty: Certain as long as you never get any medical help (this is
trickier than it sounds)
Notes: Supposed to be easier after the first couple of days, since
your appetite goes. In a UK prison, you can't be force-fed
unless you give permission first, or are diagnosed insane,
but I don't know whether this is the same in other countries.
Beware - relatives might give permission on your behalf if you
are unconsious.
17. DRIVING INTO BRIDGE SUPPORT AT 100 MPH
Time: Hopefully instantanious
Available: Fast car, motorway, unprotected bridge....
Certainty: So-so, put a couple of cans of petrol on the passenger seat to
make it certain, & USE YOUR SEATBELT
Notes: Bridges are usually protected in the UK, don't know about USA.
Avoid being thrown out of the car by using the seatbelt, and
put petrol (in cans or just splashed about) near to the driver's
seat just to make certain.
18. SHOTGUN
Time: Instantanious if you are lucky
Available: Difficult in UK, easier in USA (due to gun laws)
Certainty: Fairly certain
Notes: 12-gauge shotgun with 3 inch Magnum shells with #2 to #000
buckshot. See "Bullet" for other points. This is the recommended
way to die by firearm. Apparently the shells suggested here
are "extreme overkill", but thats the point really...
19. ENLIST (silly)
Time: Jan 15 or later
Available: Just pop down to the local army office & sign on as a squaddie
Certainty: Be a "hero". Life expectancy in a battle is 20 minutes
Notes: I don't think this is an entirely serious suggestion,
particularly since only 10% ever see the front line, and only
a few of those ever see combat.
20. PENCILS UP YOUR NOSE, BANG DOWN ONTO TABLE
Time: Seconds or never
Available: All you need is a couple of sharp pencils and a table
Certainty: Very uncertain
Notes: This is a myth, I think, since the pencils would go into your
frontal lobes, which are basically optional! This is the
legendary "exam suicide". Fine if you want a DIY frontal-
lobotomy rather than death!
21. GETTING SOMEONE TO MURDER YOU
Time: Depends on method used
Available: Know any murderous psychopaths? No, not the tax people...
Certainty: Depends on method used, & dedication of murderer
Notes: Forget it. Unless you contract someone to do it, the chances
are that you are going to wake up in hospital without your
wallet. If you do contract someone, how are you going to pay
them? Can't take them to court for running off with your
money and not doing the job.
22. MAKE YOURSELF INTO AN H-BOMB (another silly one)
Time: Speed of light over 1/2 metre (couple of nanoseconds)
Available: Nuke (fission OR fusion), 10 litres of heavy water
Certainty: 100%
Notes: Drink the heavy water for several days, strap yourself to
the nuke, and press the button. If you retained a couple of
litres of the heavy water, the additional yield should be
.02 * c^2 (joules?). The problem here is getting hold of the
nuke without anyone noticing. If you are discovered before you
trigger the gadget, the city authorities are liable to be
somewhat irate. Also heavy water is a poison, so you might not
survive that long anyway.
23. MICROMACHINES/NANOCOMPUTERS (science fiction)
Time: years or a fraction of a second - depends how you look at it
Available: in 50 years time?
Certainty: Good assuming that the technology is developed
Notes: Basically, this involves a 'replicator' panel. You program it
to replicate yourself, simplifying very slightly, with the
exception of the urge to use this technique. After a while, you
turn into a mindless zombie, trudging around from the exit of
the machine to the entrance, for eternity. Strange philosophical
implications.
24. SCUBA-DIVING (various fatal 'accidents')
Time: see notes -most are minutes/hours
Available: scuba diving gear, nobody around
Certainty: see notes
Notes: The first method is to rise 30 metres or so without releasing
your breath. Assuming that you can do it, it should cause your
lungs to burst. The second is the bends - stay under long enough
for the nitrogen to dissolve (30 metres for 30 minutes). go up
rapidly without decompression time. This is unreliable, and
may cause brain / joint damage. The third way is Carbon Monoxide
poisoning - fill your tank with it, and stay away from other
divers. You will fall asleep fairly quickly. See CO in poisons
section. The final way is oxygen narcosis - however, this means
that you have to go very deep with an oxygen-rich mix, and
there are problems associated with that. The advantage of these
methods is that insurance companies / relatives will assume that
it was an accident ('misadventure'), with the possible exception
of the CO poisoning.
The source of this follows: (from the net)
"Rising 30m without exhaling will usually result in an over
pressured lung, possible subcuteaneous emphazema, collapsed
lung, death usually from drowning in your own blood. Rather
painful and usually curable if you are rescued, but fair chance
of dying if you aren't.
Building up a high residual nitrogen time (say 30m for 30 min)
then coming up without decompressing will get you bent fairly
nicely. You don't feel much, but your joints tend to start
stiffening up after half an hour. Death is very uncertain,
coming from a stroke. Brain damage, joint damage etc are most
likely. Pobably can be recued but some damage certain.
Oxygen poisoning, going down 50+m until the partial pressure of
the oxygen reaches a toxic level. Difficult to accomplish, very
painful to get down that deep, cold pressure etc, possibility
of nitrogen narcosis and forgetting what you are doing. Probably
get bent, good chance of rescue.
CO poisoning, mix a healthy batch of carbon monoxide in your
tank as you dive, you tend to go to sleep under water, when
combined with the above methods you have a pretty good winner,
don't forget to forget your BCD."
[ed - whats a BCD?]
25. SUCKING YOUR BRAINS OUT
Time: Minutes
Available: You'd need a Puma (TM) robot, & some other bits
Certainty: certain, given proper programming
Notes: You would need an industrial robot to do this properly. Give
it a saw attachment, a sucking tube attachment, and program
it. Make a head restraint. When you are fixed securely into
the restraint, start the robot's program. It will drill a hole
in your head, and stick the tube into the hole. Program it to
wiggle the tube back and forth so that it doesn't miss anything.
This might work better if you put a stream of water into the
hole as well, so that the sucking attachment doesn't just suck
air all the time. Debugging the program could be amusing.
26. MICROWAVES
Time: ?
Available: Source of strong microwave emissions
Certainty: ?
Notes: ?
27. DEHYDRATION
Time: a week or so.
Available: you need to be able to stop medical help.
Certainty: certain if your will-power stands up to it.
Notes: Don't eat or drink. Remember that food contains a high
proportion of water. Avoiding medical help can be difficult.
28. SKYDIVING 'ACCIDENT'
Time: pretty damn quick.
Available: need to join a skydiving club.
Certainty: certain.
Notes: Join a skydiving club, continue to practise it for a while to
clear off all suspicions and then once pack your parachute in
a real mess (preferably knotted up, but not too clearly) and
then jump. The para will not open and you will reach a terminal
velocity of 220 km/h (160 mph/120 kn). Death is instant in the
impact with the Planet Earth.
This has the advantages of being 'accidental', and your family/
friends do not have the additional pain and guilt associated
with suicides.
29. DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS; MODERN VERSION
Time: variable
Available: a heck of a lot of razor-wire.. maybe a high-voltage supply
Certainty: not very good
Notes: This is a modern variant of the Arabic 'Death of a thousand
cuts'. Basically, jump onto a stack of unravelled razor wire,
and roll around till you die.. it may help to connect a high-
voltage, low current power supply to the wire, so that you have
spasms, which should keep you getting cut even when you are
unconscious. Also, you should make sure that you can't roll off
the wire.
30. CRUSHING
Time: seconds to minutes, depends on car press
Available: a car press.. any good junkyard
Certainty: certain as long as you can't escape
Notes: This is an elegantly simple one.. get into a car, in a car
press, and shortly afterwards be squashed to death as your
body is converted into a red pulp. It may be tricky getting
the press to trigger, but if you hide in the car someone
may come along and activate it. There are other ways of
getting crushed, this just happens to be the most effective
I can think up on the spur of the moment. Getting yourself
run over by a fully loaded articulated lorry is quite good.
You should remember that people quite often survive the actual
crushing; they die when the weight is taken OFF them.
31. WORLD WAR THREE
Time: moments if you are near a militarilly significant site
Available: happen to be one of the 'key-holders'? president maybe?
Certainty: pretty certain
Notes: All you have to do is trigger world war three. Fire an ICBM
or three at the Chinese and the Russians... This method has
the advantage that you take everyone else with you! Trouble
is, the number of people with the requisite access is minimal,
and I sort of doubt that any readers of ASH can do this.
32. HEATSTROKE
Time: 4 hours or more
Available: Very hot day; no disturbance from neighbours etc
Certainty: depends on the weather
Notes: Basically, the point is to give yourself extreme heatstroke.
You should pass out after a few hours. Use some aluminium foil
to direct the sun's heat onto you, to speed up the process
a bit. Try to reduce the chance of being interuppted, take off
the phone etc. Obviously, start in the morning! Helps if the
outside temperature is >100F.
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Another file downloaded from: The NIRVANAnet(tm) Seven
& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Taipan Enigma 510/935-5845
Burn This Flag Zardoz 408/363-9766
realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510/527-1662
Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 801/278-2699
The New Dork Sublime Biffnix 415/864-DORK
The Shrine Rif Raf 206/794-6674
Planet Mirth Simon Jester 510/786-6560
"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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