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Newsgroups: rec.motorcycles
From: jrwaters@eos.ncsu.edu (JACK ROGERS WATERS)
Subject: Re: What does DoD mean?
Message-ID: <1993Feb22.051425.14200@ncsu.edu>
Organization: North Carolina State University, Project Eos
Date: Mon, 22 Feb 1993 05:14:25 GMT
Lines: 841
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ Make no Mistake, I am the Red Fishnet. ~
~ DoD#1919 ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a periodic posting intended to answer the Frequently Asked
Question: What is the DoD? It is posted the first of each month, with
an expiration time of over a month. Thus, unless your site's news
software is ill-mannered, this posting should always be available.
This WitDoDFAQ is crossposted to all four rec.motorcycles groups in an
attempt to catch most new users, and followups are directed to
rec.motorcycles.
Last changed 3-Nov-92 to add a section containing updates to some stats
and the List Of Rides, credit to creators of various DoD trinkets, and
some minor formatting changes. Also the first attempt at automating the
posting of this FAQ. A version number has also been added. Since all
previous version were before recorded history, I declare this to be:
VERSION 1.00
This collection was originally assembled by Lissa Shoun, from the
original postings. With Lissa's permission, I have usurped the title of
KotWitDoDFAQ. Any corrections, additions, bribes, etc. should be aimed at
blgardne@javelin.sim.es.com.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Contents:
How do I get a DoD number? by Blaine Gardner DoD #46
DoD "Road Rider" article by Bruce Tanner DoD #161
What is the DoD? by John Sloan DoD #11
The DoD Logo by Chuck Rogers DoD #3
The DoD (this started it all) by The Denizen of Doom DoD #1
The DoD Anthem by Jonathan Quist DoD #94
Why you have to be killed by Blaine Gardner DoD #46
The rec.moto.photo.archive courtesy of Bruce Tanner DoD #161
Patches? What patches? by Blaine Gardner DoD #46
Letter from the AMA museum by Jim Rogers, Director DoD #395
The DoD Rules by consensus
Other rec.moto resources by various Keepers DoD #misc
The rec.moto.reviews.archive courtesy of Loki Jorgenson DoD #1210
Updated stats & rides info by Ed Green (DoD #111) and others
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If the most Frequently Asked Question in rec.motorcycles is "What is the
DoD?", then the second most Frequently Asked Question must be "How do I
get a DoD number?" That is as simple as asking the Keeper of the List
(KotL, accept no substitue Keepers) for a number. If you're feeling
creative, and your favorite number hasn't been taken already, you can
make a request, subject to KotL approval. (Warning, non-numeric, non-
base-10 number requests are likely to earn a flame from the KotL. Not
that you won't get it, but you will pay for it.)
By now you're probably asking "So who's the KotL already?". Well, as
John Sloan notes below, that's about the only real "secret" left around
here, but a few (un)subtle hints can be divulged. First, it is not myself,
nor anyone mentioned by name in this posting (maybe :-), though John was
the original KotL. Second, in keeping with the true spirit of Unix, the
KotL's first name is only two letters long, and can be spelled entirely
with hexadecimal characters. (2.5, the KotL shares his name with a line-
oriented text utility.) Third, he has occasionally been seen posting
messages bestowing new DoD numbers (mostly to boneheads with bad e-mail
addresses). Fourth, there is reason to suspect the KotL of being a
Dead-Head.
(PS: While John mentions below that net access and a bike are the only
requirements for DoD membership, that's not strictly true these days, as
there are a number of Denizens who lack one or both.)
Blaine (Dances With Bikers) Gardner blgardne@javelin.sim.es.com
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Denizens of Doom", by Bruce Tanner (DoD 0161)
[Road Rider, August 1991, reprinted with Bruce's permission]
There is a group of motorcyclists that gets together and does all the normal
things that a bunch of bikers do. They discuss motorcycles and
motorcycling, beverages, cleaning fluids, baklavah, balaclava, caltrops,
helmets, anti-fog shields, spine protectors, aerodynamics, three-angle valve
seats, bird hits, deer whistles, good restaurants, racing philosophy,
traffic laws, tickets, corrosion control, personalities, puns, double
entendres, culture, absence of culture, first rides and friendship. They
argue with each other and plan rides together.
The difference between this group and your local motorcycle club is that,
although they get together just about everyday, most have never seen each
other face to face. The members of this group live all over the known world
and communicate with each other electronically via computer.
The computers range from laptops to multi-million dollar computer centers;
the people range from college and university students to high-tech industry
professionals to public-access electronic bulletin-board users. Currently,
rec.motorcycles (pronounced "wreck-dot-motorcycles," it's the file name for
the group's primary on-line "meeting place") carries about 2250 articles per
month; it is read by an estimated 29,000 people. Most of the frequent
posters belong to a motorcycle club, the Denizens of Doom, usually referred
to as the DoD.
The DoD started when motorcyclist John R. Nickerson wrote a couple of
parodies designed to poke fun at motorcycle stereotypes. Fellow computer
enthusiast Bruce Robinson posted these articles under the pen name, "Denizen
of Doom." A while later Chuck Rogers signed off as DoD nr. 0003 Keeper of
the Flame. Bruce was then designated DoD nr. 0002, retroactively and, of
course, Nickerson, the originator of the parodies, was given DoD nr. 0001.
The idea of a motorcycle club with no organization, no meetings and no rules
appealed to many, so John Sloan -- DoD nr. 0011 -- became Keeper of the
List, issuing DoD numbers to anyone who wanted one. To date there have been
almost 400 memberships issued to people all over the United States and
Canada, as well as Australia, New Zealand, the United Kingdom, France,
Germany, Norway and Finland.
Keeper of the List Sloan eventually designed a club patch. The initial run
of 300 patches sold out immediately. The profits from this went to the
American Motorcycle Heritage Foundation. Another AMHF fund raiser --
selling Denizens of Doom pins to members -- was started by Arnie Skurow a
few months later. Again, the project was successful and the profits were
donated to the foundation. So far, the Denizens have contributed over $1500
to the AMA museum. A plaque in the name of the Denizens of Doom now hangs
in the Motorcycle Heritage Museum.
As often as possible, the DoD'ers crawl out from behind their CRTs and go
riding together. It turns out that the two largest concentrations of
DoD'ers are centered near Denver/Boulder, Colorado, and in California's
"Silicon Valley." Consequently, two major events are the annual Assault on
Rollins Pass in Colorado, and the Northern versus Southern California
"Joust."
The Ride-and-Feed is a bike trip over Rollins Pass, followed by a big
barbecue dinner. The concept for the Joust is to have riders from Northern
California ride south; riders from Southern California to ride north,
meeting at a predesignated site somewhere in the middle. An additional plan
for 1991 is to hold an official Denizens of Doom homecoming in conjunction
with the AMA heritage homecoming in Columbus, Ohio, in July.
Though it's a safe bet the the Denizens of Doom and their collective
communications hub, rec.motorcycles, will not replace the more traditional
motorcycle organizations, for those who prowl the electronic pathways in
search of two-wheeled camaraderie, it's a great way for kindred spirits to
get together. Long may they flame.
"Live to Flame -- Flame to Live" [centerbar]
This official motto of the Denizens of Doom refers to the ease with which
you can gratuitously insult someone electronically, when you would not do
anything like that face to face. These insults are known as "flames";
issuing them is called "flaming." Flames often start when a member
disagrees with something another member has posted over the network. A
typical, sophisticated, intelligent form of calm, reasoned rebuttal would be
something like: "What an incredibly stupid statement, you Spandex-clad
poseur!" This will guarantee that five other people will reply in defense
of the original poster, describing just what they think of you, your riding
ability and your cat.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
_The Denizens of Doom: The Saga Unfolds_
by John Sloan DoD #0011
Periodically the question "What is DoD?" is raised. This is one of
those questions in the same class as "Why is the sky blue?", "If there
is a God, why is there so much suffering in the world?" and "Why do
women inevitably tell you that you're such a nice guy just before they
dump you?", the kinds of questions steeped in mysticism, tradition,
and philosophy, questions that have inspired research and discussion
by philosophers in locker rooms, motorcycle service bays, and in the
halls of academe for generations.
A long, long time ago (in computer time, where anything over a few
minutes is an eternity and the halting problem really is a problem) on
a computer far, far away on the net (topologically speaking; two
machines in the same room in Atlanta might route mail to one another
via a system in Chicago), a chap who wished to remain anonymous (but
who was eventually assigned the DoD membership #1) wrote a satire of
the various personalities and flame wars of rec.motorcycles, and
signed it "The Denizen of Doom". Not wishing to identify himself, he
asked that stalwart individual who would in the fullness of time
become DoD #2 to post it for him. DoD #2, not really giving a whit
about what other people thought and generally being a right thinking
individual, did so. Flaming and other amusements followed.
He who would become the holder of DoD membership #3 thought this was
the funniest thing he'd seen in a while (being the sort that is pretty
easily amused), so he claimed membership in the Denizens of Doom
Motorcycle Club, and started signing his postings with his membership
number.
Perhaps readers of rec.motorcycles were struck with the vision of a
motorcycle club with no dues, no rules, no restrictions as to brand or
make or model or national origin of motorcycle, a club organized
electronically. It may well be that readers were yearning to become a
part of something that would provide them with a greater identity, a
gestalt personality, something in which the whole was greater than the
sum of its parts. It could also be that we're all computer nerds who
wear black socks and sneakers and pocket protectors, who just happen
to also love taking risks on machines with awesome power to weight
ratios, social outcasts who saw a clique that would finally be open
minded enough to accept us as members.
In a clear case of self fulfilling prophesy, The Denizens of Doom
Motorcycle Club was born. A club in which the majority of members have
never met one another face to face (and perhaps like it that way), yet
feel that they know one another pretty well (or well enough given some
of the electronic personalities in the newsgroup). A club organized
and run (in the loosest sense of the word) by volunteers through the
network via electronic news and mail, with a membership/mailing list
(often used to organize group rides amongst members who live in the
same region), a motto, a logo, a series of photo albums circulating
around the country (organized by DoD #9), club patches (organized by
#11), and even an MTV-style music video (produced by #47 and
distributed on VHS by #18)!
Where will it end? Who knows? Will the DoD start sanctioning races,
placing limits on the memory and clock rate of the on-board engine
management computers? Will the DoD organize poker runs where each
participant collects a hand of hardware and software reference cards?
Will the DoD have a rally in which the attendees demand a terminal
room and at least a 386-sized UNIX system? Only time will tell.
The DoD has no dues, no rules, and no requirements other than net
access and a love for motorcycles. To become a member, one need only
ask (although we will admit that who you must ask is one of the few
really good club secrets). New members will receive via email a
membership number and the latest copy of the membership list, which
includes name, state, and email address.
The Denizens of Doom Motorcycle Club will live forever (or at least
until next year when we may decided to change the name).
Live to Flame - Flame to Live
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The DoD daemon as seen on the patches, pins, etc. by
Chuck Rogers, car377@druhi.att.com, DoD #0003
:-( DoD )-:
:-( x __ __ x )-:
:-( x / / \ \ x )-:
:-( x / / -\-----/- \ \ x )-:
:-( L | \/ \ / \/ | F )-:
:-( I | / \ / \ | L )-:
:-( V \/ __ / __ \/ A )-:
:-( E / / \ / \ \ M )-:
:-( | | \ / | | E )-:
:-( T | | . | _ | . | | )-:
:-( O | \___// \\___/ | T )-:
:-( \ \_/ / O )-:
:-( F \___ ___/ )-:
:-( L \ \ / / L )-:
:-( A \ vvvvv / I )-:
:-( M | ( ) | V )-:
:-( E | ^^^^^ | E )-:
:-( x \_______/ x )-:
:-( x x )-:
:-( x rec.motorcycles x )-:
:-( USENET )-:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The DoD
by the Denizen of Doom DoD #1
Welcome one and all to the flamingest, most wonderfullest newsgroup of
all time: wreck.mudder-disciples or is it reak.mudder-disciples? The
Names have been changes to protect the Guilty (riders) and Innocent
(the bikes) alike. If you think you recognize a contorted version of
your name, you don't. It's just your guilt complex working against
you. Read 'em and weep.
We tune in on a conversation between some of our heros. Terrible
Barbarian is extolling the virtues of his Hopalonga Puff-a-cane to
Reverend Muck Mudgers and Stompin Fueling-Injection:
Terrible: This Hopalonga is the greatest... Beats BMWs dead!!
Muck: I don't mean to preach, Terrible, but lighten up on the BMW
crowd eh? I mean like I like riding my Yuka-yuka Fudgeo-Jammer
11 but what the heck.
Stompin: No way, the BMW is it, complete, that's all man.
Terrible: Nahhhh, you're sounding like Heritick Ratatnack! Hey, at
least he is selling his BMW and uses a Hopalonga Intercorruptor!
Not as good as a Puff-a-cane, should have been called a
Woosh-a-stream.
Stompin: You mean Wee-Stream.
Terrible: Waddya going to do? Call in reinforcements???
Stompin: Yehh man. Here comes Arlow Scarecrow and High Tech. Let's see
what they say, eh?
Muck: Now men, let's try to be civil about this.
High Tech: Hi, I'm a 9 and the BMW is the greatest.
Arlow: Other than my B.T. I love my BMW!
Terrible: B.T.???
Arlow: Burley Thumpison, the greatest all American ride you can own.
Muck: Ahhh, look, you're making Terrible gag.
Terrible: What does BMW stand for anyway???
Muck, Arlow, High: Beats Me, Wilhelm.
Terrible: Actually, my name is Terrible. Hmmm, I don't know either.
Muck: Say, here comes Chunky Bear.
Chunky: Hey, Hey, Hey! Smarter than your average bear!
Terrible: Hey, didn't you drop your BMW???
Chunky: All right eh, a little BooBoo, but I left him behind. I mean
even Villy Ogle flamed me for that!
Muck: It's okay, we all makes mistakes.
Out of the blue the West coasters arrive, led by Tread Orange with
Dill Snorkssy, Heritick Ratatnack, Buck Garnish, Snob Rasseller and
the perenial favorite: Hooter Boobin Brush!
Heritick: Heya Terrible, how's yer front to back bias?
Terrible: Not bad, sold yer BMW?
Heritick: Nahhh.
Hooter: Hoot, Hoot.
Buck: Nice tree Hooter, how'd ya get up there?
Hooter: Carbujectors from Hell!!!
Muck: What's a carbujector?
Hooter: Well, it ain't made of alumican!!! Made by Tilloslert!!
Muck: Ahh, come on down, we aren't going to flame ya, honest!!
Dill: Well, where do we race?
Snob: You know, Chunky, we know about about your drop and well, don't
ride!
Muck: No! No! Quiet!
Tread: BMW's are the greatest in my supreme level headed opinion.
They even have luggage made by Sourkraut!
High: My 9 too!
Terrible, Heritick, Dill, Buck: Nahhhhh!!!
Stompin, Tread, High, Chunky, Snob: Yesss Yessssss!!!
Before this issue could be resolved the Hopalonga crew called up more
cohorts from the local area including Polyanna Stirrup and the
infamous Booster Robiksen on his Cavortin!
Polyanna: Well, men, the real bikers use stirrups on their bikes like
I use on my Hopalonga Evening-Bird Special. Helpful for getting
it up on the ole ventral stand!
Terrible: Hopalonga's are great like Polyanna says and Yuka-Yuka's and
Sumarikis and Kersnapis are good too!
Booster: I hate Cavortin.
All: WE KNOW, WE KNOW.
Booster: I love Cavortin.
All: WE KNOW WE KNOW.
Muck: Well, what about Mucho Guzlers and Lepurras?
Snob, Tread: Nawwwwww.
Muck: What about a Tridump?
Terrible: Isn't that a chewing gum?
Muck: Auggggg, Waddda about a Pluck-a-kity?
Heritick: Heyya Muck, you tryin' to call up the demon rider himself?
Muck: No, no. There is more to Mudder-Disciples than arguing about make.
Two more riders zoom in, in the form of Pill Turret and Phalanx Lifter.
Pill: Out with dorsal stands and ventral stands forever.
Phalanx: Hey, I don't know about that.
And Now even more west coasters pour in.
Road O'Noblin: Hopalonga's are the greatest!
Maulled Beerstein: May you sit on a bikejector!
Suddenly more people arrived from the great dark nurth:
Kite Lanolin: Hey, BMW's are great, men.
Robo-Nickie: I prefer motorcycle to robot transformers, personally.
More riders from the west coast come into the discussion:
Aviator Sourgas: Get a Burley-Thumpison with a belted-rigged frame.
Guess Gasket: Go with a BMW or Burley-Thumpison.
With a roar and a screech the latest mudder-disciple thundered in. It
was none other that Clean Bikata on her Hopalonga CaBammerXorn.
Clean: Like look, Hopalonga are it but only CaBammerXorns.
Muck: Why??
Clean: Well, like it's gotta be a 6-banger or nothin.
Muck: But I only have a 4-banger.
Clean: No GOOD!
Chunky: Sob, some of us only have 2-bangers!
Clean: Inferior!
Stompin: Hey, look, here's proof BMW's are better. The Bimmer-Boys
burst into song: (singing) Beemer Babe, Beemer Babe give me a
thrill...
Road, Terrible, Polyanna, Maulled, Dill etc.: Wadddoes BMW stand for?
Heritick, Stompin, Snob, Chunky, Tread, Kite, High, Arlow: BEAT'S ME,
WILHEM!
Road, Terrible, Polyanna, Maulled, Dill etc.: Oh, don't you mean BMW?
And so the ensuing argument goes until the skies clouded over and the
thunder roared and the Greatest Mudder-Disciple (G.M.D.) of them all
boomed out.
G.M.D.: Enough of your bickering! You are doomed to riding
Bigot & Suction powered mini-trikes for your childish actions.
All: no, No, NO!!! Puhlease.
Does this mean that all of the wreck.mudder-disciples will be riding
mini-trikes? Are our arguing heros doomed? Tune in next week for the
next gut wretching episode of "The Yearning and Riderless" with its
ever increasing cast of characters. Where all technical problems will
be flamed over until well done. Next week's episode will answer the
question of: "To Helmet or Not to Helmet" will be aired, this is heady
material and viewer discretion is advised.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Script for the Denizens of Doom Anthem Video
by Jonathan E. Quist DoD #94
[Scene: A sterile engineering office. A lone figure, whom we'll call
Chuck, stands by a printer output bin, wearing a white CDC lab coat,
with 5 mechanical pencils in a pocket protector.]
(editor's note: For some reason a great deal of amusement was had at
the First Annual DoD Uni-Coastal Ironhorse Ride & Joust by denizens
referring to each other as "Chuck". I guess you had to be there. I
wasn't.)
Chuck: I didn't want to be a Software Systems Analyst,
cow-towing to the whims of a machine, and saying yessir, nosir,
may-I-have-another-sir. My mother made me do it. I wanted
to live a man's life,
[Music slowly builds in background]
riding Nortons and Triumphs through the highest mountain passes
and the deepest valleys,
living the life of a Motorcyclist;
doing donuts and evading the police;
terrorizing old ladies and raping small children;
eating small dogs for tea (and large dogs for dinner). In short,
I Want to be A Denizen!
[Chuck rips off his lab coat, revealing black leather jacket (with
fringe), boots, and cap. Scene simultaneously changes to the top of
an obviously assaulted Rollins Pass. A small throng of Hell's Angels
sit on their Harleys in the near background, gunning their engines,
showering lookers-on with nails as they turn donuts, and leaking oil
on the tarmac. Chuck is standing in front of a heavily chromed Fat
Boy.]
Chuck [Sings to the tune of "The Lumberjack Song"]:
I'm a Denizen and I'm okay,
I flame all night and I ride all day.
[Hell's Angels Echo Chorus, surprisingly heavy on tenors]:
He's a Denizen and he's okay,
He flames all night and he rides all day.
I ride my bike;
I eat my lunch;
I go to the lavat'ry.
On Wednesdays I ride Skyline,
Running children down with glee.
[Chorus]:
He rides his bike;
He eats his lunch;
He goes to the lavat'ry.
On Wednesdays he rides Skyline,
Running children down with glee.
[Chorus refrain]:
'Cause He's a Denizen...
I ride real fast,
My name is Chuck,
It somehow seems to fit.
I over-rate the worst bad f*ck,
But like a real good sh*t.
Oh, I'm a Denizen and I'm okay!
I flame all night and I ride all day.
[Chorus refrain]:
Oh, He's a Denizen...
I wear high heels
And bright pink shorts,
full leathers and a bra.
I wish I rode a Harley,
just like my dear mama.
[Chorus refrain]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why you have to be killed.
Well, the first thing you have to understand (just in case you managed
to read this far, and still not figure it out) is that the DoD started
as a joke. And in the words of one Denizen, it intends to remain one.
Sometime in the far distant past, a hapless newbie asked: "What does DoD
stand for? It's not the Department of Defense is it?" Naturally, a
Denizen who had watched the movie "Top Gun" a few times too many rose
to the occasion and replied:
"That's classified, we could tell you, but then we'd have to kill you."
And the rest is history.
A variation on the "security" theme is to supply disinformation about
what DoD stands for. Notable contributions (and contributers, where
known) include:
Daughters of Democracy (DoD 23) Doers of Donuts
Dancers of Despair (DoD 9) Debasers of Daughters
Dickweeds of Denver Driveway of Death
Debauchers of Donuts Dumpers of Dirtbikes
Note that this is not a comprehensive list, as variations appear to be
limited only by the contents of one's imagination or dictionary file.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The rec.moto.photo archive
First a bit of history, this all started with Ilana Stern and Chuck
Rogers organizing a rec.motorcycles photo album. Many copies were made,
and several sets were sent on tours around the world, only to vanish in
unknown locations. Then Bruce Tanner decided that it would be appropriate
for an electronic medium to have an electronic photo album. Bruce has not
only provided the disk space and ftp & e-mail access, but he has taken
the time to scan most of the photos that are available from the archive.
Not only can you see what all these folks look like, you can also gawk
at their motorcycles. A few non-photo files are available from the
server too, they include the DoD membership list, the DoD Yellow Pages,
the general rec.motorcycles FAQ, and this FAQ posting.
Here are a couple of excerpts from from messages Bruce posted about how
to use the archive.