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/-------------------------------------\
| The Stoner's Hymnal |
| by: Buckaroo Banzai |
| |
| Edited by: Count Nibble |
| |
| Call Mines of Moria |
| 120 Megs / Adventure / BBS |
| (713) 871-8577 (3 ports!) |
\-------------------------------------/
----------------------
Foreword by C.L.Nibble
----------------------
All I did was edit a whole bunch of
little files into one big file, put
C/Rs where needed to bring the line
length down around 40 columns, and
add those Freak Bros. quotes in the
section on 'Shrooms. All the rest
of the info is exactly as originally
presented.
Just saving everyone a little disk
space.
Enjoy . . .
/\/oo\/\
------------
Introduction
------------
ok.. i know these are kinda small..
just something i wanted to do... i
did it in about 4 hours...
anyway.. it is 5:00 am ... i ve been
workin since 1:00
damn.. bus comes in 1 hr & 1/2...
fuck school then.
well.. now i have time to upload it when i get up around 9
(am)
or 10
who knows
goodnight.
buckaroo banzai... one tired mo-fo
Feb 20, 5:11 am
/s
------------------------------
Part 1: The Real Stoners Guide
------------------------------
Real stoners know the difference
between 1 1/2 papers and 1 1/4.
Real stoners often hang out with
real phreaks, and real philewriters,
and real pirates.
?
Real stoners often are real phreaks,
real philewriters, and real pirates.
Real stoners always use Zig-Zag
papers (if there are none, then
they use Job or Joker)
Real stoners are never available at
home on a Friday or Saturday night.
Real stoners never act like real
geeks, real losers, or the like.
Real stoners know that you can't buy
?
weed on Sunday night.
Real stoners know what a real bong
is and have seen, made or.used one.
Real stoners don't use thier pipes
to smoke pipe tobacco.
Real stoners would never smoke
menthol cigarettes.
(Real stoners smoke Marlboro Reds)
Real stoners never use matches.
They have real lighters.
Real stoners laugh when some kid
is pretending to be a real stoner.
(They can tell because real stoners
know how to inhale, french inhale,
and optionally blow smoke rings.)
Real stoners don't need to read this
phile, because they are real stoners.
Real stoners like to use spray paint
cans on thier Un-Real school.
Real stoners don't really give a
shit.
Real stoners can roll a joint.
Real stoners own a real pipe.
(whether it is bought, ripped off,
or homemade)
Real stoners also own a real
roach clip.
---------------------------
Part 2: How To Roll A Joint
---------------------------
First off... you need some rolling
papers, I recommend Zig-Zag 1 1/2.
(the orange pack)
Now all you need is some weed, a wet
tounge, and some skillfull fingers.
(yeah... I'm stalling for time.)
ok... take out 1 rolling paper. (1 1/2)
here's how it should look:
___________________
| : |
| : |
| : |
| : |
| : |
| : |
|_________:_________|
|_________:_________| <-gummed
strip
^
|
crease
ok.. fold it to look like this:
___________________
| : |
|---------:---------| <-new
| : | creases
|---------:---------| <--/
| : |
| : |
|_________:_________|
|_________:_________| <-gummed
edge
^
|
straightened
out crease
now, add the weed as follows:
___________________
> | : | <- flap a
|---------:---------|
|xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx | <- weed
|---------:---------|
| : |
| : |
|_________:_________|
|_________:_________|
fold flap a over the weed, trapping it
in, (the little space is the end that
you put your mouth on, call it area b)
now roll down to the end, and lick the
gummed edge, like an envelope. Now
seal it.
Here's what it looks like now:
_____________
O__________|__| <- Area B
Now fold area B's lower right hand
corner up to look like this:
_____________
O____________/
Now don't make area b really tight, or
you won't be able to get a good hit,
but not so loose that the tobacco
comes flying into your mouth.
Have fun... (thanks to me huh?)
----------------------------
Part 3: How To Smoke A Joint
?
----------------------------
First off.. you need a joint.
Ok.. now , you need a fire. any kind
will do, lighter, match, fireplace,
blowtorch, flamethrower, a burning
building... etc...
ok... now light and take a drag, don't
inhale, now swallow it, and repeat this
procedure intill you can't hold it no
more.. (about 7-9 of them)
now, you can inhale , now that you
have been doing it the other way.. i
like to french inhale, it is alot eaiser
to do because once you inhale it, it is
there for good, and you can keep all
the smoke in your mouth, and breath
through your nose.. then continue.
but anyway, for the next couple of
hours you will have a garunteed, or
your money back, blast.
-----------------------------------
Part 4: How To Have Fun While Fried
-----------------------------------
?
here are some good suggestions, they
have been personally tested by me to
insure safeness.
Go over to Photon with a few friends
who are also fried.
Play goonies on your computer.
print out some of those anarchy
things on terrorizing the nieghbor-
hood and go test em out.
play pole position on the freeway.
get sum pussy.
read a book.. (trips your brain,
i was reading dune)
(^^^ i REALLY tripped.)
it makes you feel like you are actually
there.
play bicycle football.. really
funny if your watching, but it hurts
like hell playing.
cruiz around.
go to astroworld (i have'nt tried this
one, but i am sure it would be
great.)
if i have'nt typed it, it ain't worth
doing... (execpt for a few things)
like gettin even more wasted.
------------------------------------
Part 5: What To Do With your Roaches
------------------------------------
Roaches are the part of a joint that
you can't smoke because it is to hot
for your fingers.
I like to eat the roaches. It will
get you stoned awile after you eat
it.. it has to have time to get the
THC to your brain.
use a roach clip. (something like
tweezers, an alligator clip,etc,
used to hold the joint so you don't
burn your fingers)
I take my roaches and drop them in my
pipe, when it has like 10-12 roaches
in there, I tamp it, and smoke..
Save it up and make tea.
take the unused portion out of the
paper, and put it back in your zip-
lock baggie full of weed.
whadda mean you don't use a ziplock
baggie, do you want stale weed or what?
----------------------------
Part 6: How To Make Weed Tea
----------------------------
ok.. take a lipton tea bag, and open it
up and trash the tea.. pour in your
weed, tape or staple the bag back
together, and just act as is you were
making ice tea or sun tea, or hot spice
tea.
i like it hot with sugar
----------------------------------
Part 7: Related Subjects: 'Shrooms
----------------------------------
"The way to identify them is if the
stems turn blue after you break
them . . ."
-Phineas
"I don't trust anything that grows
out of cow flop! I don't trust
anything that doesn't come in a
nice clean gelatin capsule!"
-Fat Freddy
ok... do you live near a cow pasture?
or have access to one? ok.. get some
rubber gloves and closepins.
ok.. closepin your nose, and climb over
the barbed wire fence. ok.. go around
looking under and inside of cow patties
(sounds fun so far eh?)
ok.. look for little green mushrooms..
a friend of mine found a big one about
6 inches diameter.. ok.. take them home
and wash em off..
now you have shrooms!
wow! now boys and girls, what chemical
is in shrooms? thats right, lsd.
squeeze the liquid out onto a sheet,
and then take one of those hole
punchers with the little blue holders
so the paper holes don't fly away and
make a mess.
now take the hole puncher and punch
out all of the paper... (make sure the
paper has been sitting for around an
hour before punching) , now empty those
out into a ziplock baggie and take it
to school.. effects last for about
6 hours.
I got away with selling them for 50
cents each... sold 'em to little 6th
graders, and 7th graders that think
they are "REAL STONERS", although
i am sure none of them have a pipe,
know how to inhale or have even ever
seen weed.
but anyway... the drug doggie passed it by..
ok... now for the fun, you can
blackmail them, (threaten to tell thier
mommie, or the principal) , and if they
say, well, I'm gonna tell you sold it to
me! then just tell him about the part
how you got it from a cowfield, and i
assure you, although you will have no
more customers, that the kids are not
about to tell anyone they had something
that was under shit in their mouth.
heheh... (don't tell them that you
thouroghly washed, or that it is only
the juice, not the thing it self.)
--------------------------------------
Part 8: Related Subjects: 'Shroom Soup
--------------------------------------
now you have shrooms!
now boil them, and slice them up, and
put them into like a chicken noodle
soup or something... the affects last
for about 12-24 hrs.
a real blast.
sell this one too.
give a few spoonfuls to friends, or
get them to help with the whole
process, and they can have a few
gallons.
/-------------------------------------\
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| pw:CICADA / 300/1200 / up 24hrs |
| Sysop: Count Lazlo Nibble /\/oo\/\ |
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Another file downloaded from: The NIRVANAnet(tm) Seven
& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Taipan Enigma 510/935-5845
Burn This Flag Zardoz 408/363-9766
realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 510/527-1662
Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 801/278-2699
The New Dork Sublime Biffnix 415/864-DORK
The Shrine Rif Raf 206/794-6674
Planet Mirth Simon Jester 510/786-6560
"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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