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DrUg TeRminOLogY NumbEr TwO
by Flaming Severed Head
Aug 1, 1991



RuLE OnE:

IF You SmOkE CrAck, Do NoT LiVe in A HoMe THat haS PoPCorn CeiLinGs. if You
Do, You wiLL fiNd YoUrSeLF OfTEn SmokinG ChunKs Of THe CeiLinG FounD iN The
CArpeT, bELiEVinG THEm To be ForGoTTen RockS, EvEn THoUgH You knoW ThERe Is
No SuCh ThiNG As MisPlaCed CocAinE.

  RuLe TwO:

WhIpPeTs, THe LovELY bALLoOnS Of LaugHinG GAs (AvaiLAbLe At AnY BaKeRY Or
HEAd ShoP) Are A LovELy AccESsoRie To AnY HigH. But, AltHougH ThEsE
sixTY-SeCOnD HigH DisPenSErs ArE A Fun NoveLty AT FirST, yoU'LL FinD RePeATed
UsE To EnTicE SkuLL-SpLiTTinG HEaDaChES, ThaT Are A RESuLt Of RaPiD BrAin
CeLL LoSS, DuE To ToxiC NitRoS OVErLoaD.

  RuLE ThRee:

NEvER WaTch CaRtooNS, ClAYmATioN, Or PriMuS VidEoS iF YoU ToOk TwO HiTs Of
WinDow PaiN AnD aRE PeAKiNG, AnD ThERe ArE REaL PoWEreD GARdEninG utenSiLs
ReAdiLY AVaiLaBLe In The ImmEDiaTe SuRrOuNdiNGs.

  RuLe FouR:

NeVeR, WheN SoBEr, TrY To COnVinCE a FirST TimE ShRooMer ThaT He HaS
PreSeNtLY TrAnsForMEd iNto The ShaPe Of A RePtiLE, anD is MeLtIng. You WiLL
FiND ThE ABSenCE Of THis TyPe Of PrAnK RELieVinG To BoTH PaRTiEs (As THe OnLY
THinG WorST ThAn HAVinG A BAd TriP Is HavINg To be SobER ARouNd SomEoNE ThAT
is).

   EnD Of LeSSon TwO.