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                            "ELITE" ACCESS - A TUTORIAL                         
                           BY LORD DIGITAL AND DEAD LORD                       
                                 DOOM OF LEGIONS/H
                                 LORDS ANONYMOUS!
                      SEPTEMBER 25, 1986 -- REVISED MAY 02,1988

    PRE-PROLGUE
    ===========
       This article does not express the opinions of 2600 magazine.  It's full
of my own personal opinions which happen to bear a startling resemblance to the
REAL BBS "underground" that so many of you readers are fascinated with.    

PROLOGUE
========
       For reporters, brain dead media types, or anyone else reading this who
has been blessed with a room tempeture IQ and faulty observational abilities;
"Elite" as it's applied to the "underground" community, is a phrase that
theoretically denotes the top 2-5% of the hacking and Phreaking world and its
rather peculiar heirarchy.  Realistically it denotes the 2-5% that spend the
greatest amount of time polishing up their image on boards instead of doing what
they're presumably good at (hacking).
       This article is designed to allow you (yes YOU  the junior G-man; would
be Secret Service agent; publicity whore; over-eager journalist, or just bored
modem owner and future potential ELITE) access to almost anything you might wish
to call; in addition to providing you with the knowledge neccesary to impress
other ELITE's with your learned brilliance.

    CONTENT
    =======
       A tutorial for all the people too dense to figure out the quirks of human
nature all by themselves, who also have some inane desire to have access to
ELITE boards, containing ELITE information and ELITE users, along with ELITE
wares, 42 seconds after they are cracked by ELITE crackers.  Not to mention
ELITE dial-ups to ELITE companies, which will work for aproximately 15 minutes
before some idiot logs in and does something to fuck them up.
       I'm writing it because I am bored of doing all this by myself, with only
a handful of peers to accompany me.  Not that I expect to gain "peers" from 
people that need help from this text file, but I imagine it'll give ELITE Sysops
something else to do with their time.  I also hope to save you 2-5 years of
time.  2-5 years is the average lifespan of an ELITE person, before he gets a
life and comes to the understanding that he just wasted 2-5 years.
       Please don't misunderstand me when I say 2-5 years, there are many people
who have been ELITE for almost 10 years and are still going strong.  I wouldn't
want to step on any ego's, or ruin anyone's life work, now would I...    ELITE

   BOARDS
   ============
       ELITE boards exist because the people who populate them, believe them-
selves to be superior to the people populating all the other boards.  Most
people don't agree with them, but they agree with each other.  100-200 people
being sufficient to set up their own personal version of the world, they gather
together on these ELITE boards and do ELITE things like post new wares, engage
in "rag wars" and type things up out of manuals at each other.
    SYSOPS   
    ======
       Seeing how you're trying to get access to an ELITE board, you should have
a basic understand of who the Sysop is, and why he's running the board.  This
part is easy, in over 95% of all cases, the Sysop is a egotistical fool, who is
willing to give up the use of his computer, or computers, in exchange for the
privledge of playing god with the hopeless sots who log in.
       This is especially the case on all manner of ELITE boards that request a
"real" telephone number, voice validation, and the donation of your first born
male child for even higher access.  All under the guise of "security".      
Requesting a "real" voice number, or even name, is nothing that unusual. Almost
all "mainstream" non-Pirate and non-Phreak systems require it.  Of course there
is nothing stopping you from leaving them Anal Annie's phone sex service as your
home number, and picking a random name.  That will usually be the end of that. 
The only time the Sysop will ever check into your information will be if you
happen to become a "rodent" and annoy him and/or the users of his BBS, in which
case he'll engage you in a 20 letter conversation, each one giving a really
sincere and heartening reason why you would feel so much better if you gave him
your phone number, and why he just HAS to have it for reasons you wouldn't
understand, because ALL Sysops MUST keep track of who uses their systems, don't
ya know?
       This file won't cover "normal" Sysops, because if you aren't capable of
bullshitting THEM, then you're hopeless and may as well find a new hobby.  Like
gardening is pretty exciting I hear, fer instance...

    "VOICE" NUMBERS
     ===============
       The truth is: there is no reason on earth, why a Sysop should EVER need
your voice number, or any information on you at all.  Naturally he'll WANT it,
because being the kind of person who runs a bbs in the first place, he's a nosy
and prying kind of guy that want's to know everything about you.  For reasons of
"board security" of course.
       Let me tell you about "board security:" it doesn't exist!  When a system
is "secure" all that means is that the Sysop has lulled himself into a false
sense of safety that bears little relation to the actual state of his board. But
that's beside the point.  The point being that you DON'T want to hear from the
Sysop; EVER.  One of the reasons they give for "needing" your voice number is:
"well if there's ever something wrong with the bbs, I need to be able to let you
know, or ask you what commands you used if you were the last user before it
crashed".  Isn't that nice...  How many Sysop's notify their users when their
board goes down  "for repairs"? NOT ONE.  As for problems, well what do I care? 
The last thing I want is Melvin Sysop calling me up when I'm watching Miami Vice
and trying to have a 5 hour conversation with me because he has nothing else to
do with his time.  Or better still, having my phone number embedded in his
software when the Secret Service busts down his door because he carded 50 hard
drives to his home address.
       I know many Sysops, some of them are even my friends.  These are the 
kinds of things Sysops do with their userlists.  Of course ALL of them will
CLAIM that other Sysops might do that, but THEY never would, god no, not them!  

FAVORITE SYSOP USES FOR USERS TELEPHONE NUMBERS  
=============================================== 
      I.  When any "new ware" is released (and he happens to be a Pirate kind of 
          guy), Sysops go through every name on the userlist, call them up and  
          ask for the new ware.  If you don't have the new ware, or just say you 
          don't in the hopes that he will fuck off, he will then proceed to bug 
          the hell out of you by asking for 50 other wares that he just has to  
          have.

      II.  If he's an ELITE PHREAK kinda guy and some national emergency takes  
           place such as his favorite 800 dying on him; he does the same thing  
           as the Pirate type Sysop and calls everyone on the userlist begging  
           for 800's, "any cool info", and pw's to CIS.

     III.  More so with Phreaks than Pirates, but somewhat true for all of them: 
           The Sysop want's an update on some latest tidbit of hot gossip that  
           he will just die if he doesn't find out.  He will then try to have   
           another 5 hour conversation with you about whatever drivel he called 
           you up to discuss.

      IV.  Some people trade baseball cards, some people trade comics, some     
           people trade phone numbers.  Sysops LOVE to trade phone numbers,     
           especially those of "influential" users.  I don't know why, they     
           usually lack the balls to even call them beyond the customary dial, 
           wait for some person's voice, then slam the phone down and go jerk   
           off because all that excitement gave them a hard-on.  This is very   
           much to your benefit as I'll explain a little further down.

       V.  And worst of all, there is the "lonely Sysop", the guy who will call 
           you every "day" at 2 in the morning and try to have an engaging      
           conversation about whatever happened in his "life" that day.      

     There are many other things Sysops do with your number, but as far as I'm
concerned, those were the worst.  OK, I'm going on and on about why a Sysop has
no need for your number, and how he'll annoy you to death if he ever gets it, so
YOU know that now, but what do you do about it?
    GETTING VALIDATED
    =================
       There is no big trick to being validated.  In almost every case, the
Sysop asking for a voice number, is just his usual hoopla and he'll never bother
to check out anything you give him that passes as "information".  If you leave a
reasonably intelligent copy of feedback, kiss his ass in a sublime kind of way,
and in general explain to him why having you on his bbs will make his life much
better than it is now; you'll be validated with normal access.
       Uploading new wares or files, posting messages, and drivel along those
lines, will get your access raised.  You can also bullshit for higher access,
but I'm assuming YOU don't know how, which is why you're reading this file to
begin with.  BULLSHITTING is an artform and I have neither the time or patience
to type up a file on it, so I'm doing this instead.

    EXAMPLE PIRATE BOARD FEEDBACK
    =============================
  Hello,    I'm the Masked Avocado.  I just got your bbs #, from an
advertisement that was posted on Capital Connection.  I liked what the message
had to say, so I called to check your board out.    I can contribute new
software, programming help, and anything that might help to enhance your bbs.   
I also distribute for Coast to Coast and Digital Gang.  My latest wares include: 
MultiScribe //gs 2.1.2.4 HiggyBBS 6.2 Deluxe Paint Print Plus 2.1    By the way,
my first name is Melvin, I'm 13^H^H19, and my system is made up of an enhanced
//e, 212 applecat, 3.5 drive and a bunch of peripherals.  Thanks for your time,
Melvin
       Let's examine that and highlight a few points.
     I. ALWAYS use decimel points when describing new wares.  Copy ][+ has a    
        revision every 2 weeks that does nothing except update the parm files.  
        NEW WARES! have constant updates and "Pirates" are always on the lookout 
        to increase the decimel point revision of their software.  Even if it   
        does NOTHING different EXCEPT change the decimel point.  Aside from the 
        fact that feedback is just bullshit to get you validated, you can very  
        easily get a sector editor up and change a few decimel points yourself. 
    II. ALWAYS say you got his BBS # from some established ELITE board, in the  
        case of Pirates, Capital Connection is always a good bet.  In reality   
        it's quite a lame board, but other board Sysops seem to feel otherwise, 
        and besides instantly impressing the Sysop of the board you're logging  
        into (by being a member of CapCon), he will also get a kick out of it   
        that some idiot posted his board on the CapCon "BBS Ads" section.      

[Please note that "Capital Connection" was valid at this file's original      
incept date over a year ago.  The average Pirate board having a lifespan      
of 6 months at best; Capital Connection no longer exists.  The current      
Elite Pirate board of the next 6 months, is "Trade Center."] 

    III. Among your list of "new wares" you can always list some BBS program,   
         because every week some dork writes a new program, that is lousy, never 
         works right, and if ever faced with "put up or shut up" you can change 
         around any one of 50 different BBS programs, and upload it as the NEW  
         WARE!
[Same with software as with boards -- it doesn't stay new very long.            
I can't help you here because I haven't the slighest idea what's new in         
Apple software.  However, all you need to do is invest 3 bucks in the           
latest issue of whatever magazine pertains to your particular computer,         
and list off some of the software you see advertised.]

    IV.Always say you distribute for some random collection of new wares groups. 
       Nobody can prove that you don't (logging into one cat-fur and uploading  
       the wares you found on it, to another cat-fur, is distributing) and it   
       will make the Sysop think that you'll be uploading 20 sided GS wares to  
       his board every day.
[As you may have guessed, new wares groups also come and go.  Digital       Gang
still exists, as do a slew of new groups; if you don't know of any, a safe bet
is making up a name and saying that you're based somewhere in Europe.  Europe
being the fabled birthplace of all the best new Atari and Amiga software in
particular.]
     V. Always list "your" first name and age. Make up an age that is over 16 so 
     they won't discriminate against you.  If you're under 16 and admit it in   
     your feedback, you'll be instantly labeled an idiot.

    VI. Always list some of your hardware.  Don't ask me why, it's just another 
        item in the agenda of things that Sysops like to pry into.  If you give 
        them this information without them asking for it, it makes them feel    
        better.

   VII. Always end the message with a "thanks for your time".  Remember, he's an 
        egotistical fool, and that one line makes him think you respect him,
        want to do things for him, and would be genuinely happy to be a member
        of his AWESOME board.  

  VIII. ALWAYS sign it with "your" first name, this keeps the tone informal,    
  and makes you seem like a less threatening type of guy.

    GENERAL TIPS
    ============
       Remember that many Pirate boards have a "VOTE ON NEW USERS" feature, so
don't say anything that you wouldn't want the entire world to read.  If you
follow those basic guidelines, you'll ALWAYS get validated if the rest of your
information is right.  The rest being your phone # if the Sysop actually calls
new users.
       Some of you are saying to yourselves: Yeah, but if you just listed all of
this, won't Sysops be on the lookout for this kind of feedback?  Yeah, but then
who are they going to validate?  "Obvious" rodents?  No, if they want new users
then they'll be more than happy to accept you.

    EXAMPLE PHREAK BOARD FEEDBACK
    =============================
Greetings,
       I'm Tesla Coil of The Crossbar Rapists (TC of TCR).  I was told by a user
of Metal Shoppe Private (MSP), that your bbs was worth looking into.  I've been
published in TAP, 2600, and Uncle Mel's Phone Times.  My handle was listed in
issue 12 of Security Systems of Greater Podunk (SSoGP) as a  "Computer genius
breaks into Podunk's Private Database!" I've been hacking since 1981, I was a
member of Sherwood Forest,  Securityland, The AT&T Phone Center, OSUNY, OSUNY
when it went back up, WOPR, LOD the BBS, Cryton, COSMOS, Metal Shoppe Private,
and OSUNY when it came back for yet another go at it.
       I had to change my handle for reasons of security when I was taken out by
the feds in the 1983 414 busts.
       I'm an expert with Unix, RSTS, Primos, and HiggyOS.  I can program in C,
D, E, and F, Fortran 77 and 78, Basic for the Cyber, IBM, MAC, Amiga, ST, and
Apple II.  I also know assembly for the 6502, 8088, 68020, Z-80a, and TIMEX.    
  I have an Apple //e, IBM AT, Mac+, and Kim-A1.
       After entering college last year, my time was seriously limited.  But
after getting some additional free time, I've decided to restart my hobby of
hacking and exploring the phone system.  My current interest centers around the
understanding of the myriad functions associated with CLID.
       People who can reccommend me include: (Pick 4 or 5 names of people who
aren't really ELITE, but not unknown to current ELITE Sysops either.  If you
can't think of them, pick up any issue of Phrack and take a few out of there.
The reason you want "not really ELITE" people, is because they won't command too
much attention.  You DON'T WANT excess attention, saying that some dork who
writes for Phrack recommends you, is less noticible than saying some "real"
ELITE recommends you.  Why say ANYONE recommends you, if it's so much trouble?
Because it somehow flips a switch in the Sysop's mind, which makes him think
that you must be an OK dude, if so and so recommends you.  9 out of 10 times he
won't check.  The 1 time he does check, the person he's bothering will usually
say "yeah yeah, go away I'm doing something" and that'll be the end of it).

[Please note that by "real elite" I don't mean anyone who is better, rather I
mean someone who has spent tremendous amounts of time generating exposure for
his handle.]

  Thanks for you time, Tesla Coil/The Crossbar Rapists    Let's examine this one
too.
     I. As you can see we've switched from 40 columns, to 80 columns complete
        with some form of spacing.  We've also gotten a little bit more-let's   
        say-"readable" than in our previous Pirate feedback example.  This is   
        because we're calling a different kind of system, with a different      
        program than cat-fur ENHANCED 1.1!

    II. With Phreak Sysops you don't want to get too informal, because most of  
        them are busy playing SECRET AGENT MAN! and if you do something normal  
        like sign off with "your" first name, he'll think you're not being     
        "professional".  How it is in his mind that he equates "professional"   
        with calling his board: I don't know, but trust me on this point.   III.
        In the same vein of "professionalism", you're expected to list off your 
        "accomplishments".  Oddly enough, in Phreak/Hacker HIERARCHY, getting   
        arrested numerous times is considered ELITE by many of it's peoples. Why 
        this is, I don't know either.  Personally, it says to me that the person 
        who got arrested has the brains of an african bushman, but apparently,  
        that's just my lone opinion.  Anyhow, in line with this PROFESSIONAL    
        attitude you are expected to list your life's accomplishments in the    
        space of 50-100 lines, in a form that will make you sound like the best 
        Hacker in the world, who is so good, that logically he wouldn't be
        caught dead calling the ELITE board you're calling, but once again
        skipping the logic and getting back to the Sysops expectations...    IV.

OK continuing with the thought we started...III: list off a bunch of
        languages, knowing them is optional, because the Sysop doesn't know them 
        either.  Reading the dust jacket and index on a book covering any of    
        those subjects will enable you to APPEAR to know what you're doing,
        which is all that the Sysop is doing, so don't worry about it, because
        he doesn't know vi from cd, and couldn't INFILTRATE a Unix if he had the 
        root account.  If you don't want to spend $5000 stocking up on ELITE    
        TECHNICAL MANUALS, go down to the library and xerox a bunch of index's. 
        Or better yet, just check out the books and never return them (if your  
        library lets you check out reference manuals.  Most don't, but you can  
        always rip out that little magnetic sensor in the card on the book and  
        walk out with it anyway, but I digress...).

     V.After you've done that, list a bunch of micro-specific assembly langauges 
       that you "know," and in general just make up things until you've filled  
       up around 2 paragraphs or so.  95% of ELITE PHREAKING/HACKING is just    
       posing anyway, so don't feel guilty about it or let it worry you too much 
       because that's the same way 9/10th of the board got access.  Unless they 
       were ELITE, which is just posing to a higher degree than most bother to  
       go with.

    VI. Remember to say WHERE YOU GOT THE # FROM!  This is because like I said  
        before, most Phreaks are busy playing SECRET AGENT MAN and will get an  
        ulcer and lay awake at night thinking that CABLE PAIR is infiltrating   
        their board.  You know it isn't true, but the Sysop will wet his pants  
        anyway, so just put his mind at rest and make up some place where you
        got the number from.  Metal Shoppe is always a safe bet, because it's   
     the Phreak dumping ground of ELITENESS, much like CapCon is the        
Pirate's equivalent.  Be sure to use vague terms like "I was told by a        
user of..." and things of that nature that can't be readily verified,        
but still sound plausible.

[Ahem, sorry to interrupt again, but as you may have guessed, MSP is down      
at this time.  MSP's new replacement is the Legion of Doom base BBS that      
goes by the name of "Digital Logic."  A large percentage of the users      
there are under phony handles that gained entry by exactly the type of       
bullshitting I'm writing about in this article.  The remaining phony      
accounts got access by threatening the Sysop with "Phreak retaliation"       and
having him cave into demands; which for a LOD board is about par for      
course.]

 
  VII. Next make up your "writing credits" and "media credits".  Select a few    
       random issues of random magazines that you either wrote for, or had your  
       alias' mentioned in.  Make sure they're of the small circulation type and 
       the issue is at least 2 years old.  Nobody will ever check or even have a 
       way of checking if they wanted to.  Most people who "wrote" things just   
       rephrased tech manuals and copied the illustrations.  If you're ever      
       pressured to come up with something YOU wrote, just do the same thing     
       because that's what all the other ELITES are busy doing.  Be sure to run  
       it through a spelling checker so it looks PROFESSIONAL as ELITE PHREAKS   
       are fond of looking and thinking of themselves.

  VIII. Next list off a bunch of ELITE BOARDS you've been a member of.  Listing  
        those that I just listed are a safe bet, because they're famous or as the 
        case may be: infamous, to such a degree that the Sysop will have heard of 
        them.  He wouldn't have been on them, so he won't be able to verify that 
        either.  The reason he wouldn't have been on them, is because he hasn't 
        been ELITE longer than 2 years, otherwise he wouldn't be running a board
        If he HAS been ELITE for longer than two years, and IS still running a   
        board, then he's an idiot and you can safely assume that he wouldn't     
        have been on them anyway.  Not that being an idiot disqualifies anyone   
        from  being a member of anything, but APPEARING to be an idiot will do   
        that.  COSMOS is ALWAYS a great bet, because it just sounds so PHONESY! 
        Plus there have been half a dozen COSMOS' in the last year alone, so he 
        won't know which one, even if none of them have ever been FAMOUS!    IX.
        If you're such a swell guy, and have been around so long, he might wonder 
        what you've been doing with yourself for the last 6 months - 1 year.  So 
        just make up some half-witted excuse like the one I listed.  Then include 
        something about your current "interests."  All you need to remember about 
        that is include "CLID" (Calling Line ID), "BLV" (Busy Line Verify), or   
        any other semi-interesting acronym out of a USO coding manual.  Obviously 
        you don't need to know anything about it beyond the fact that such an    
        acronym actually exists and you know about its existence.  If questioned 
        further, just bring down the "veil of secrecy" and become mysterious and 
        evasive about it.  This will instantly go great lengths towards improving 
        your status on a board.

     X. References have been covered in the parenthesis in the feedback itself,  
        so I hope I don't need to get into it again here.

    XI. ELITE Phreak/Hacker boards also expect "freebies" from you the potential 
        user, to the Sysop.  Both as a "test" of your "skill" and as a kind of   
        ass kissing.  Freebies can include COSMOS PW'S! which are easy, because  
        there are like 10 of them which people have been listing for the last 5  
        years, which haven't worked for 4 1/2 years, but people still list them. 
        Which makes me conclude that people never use them, they just write them 
        down and repost them every 6 months.  Or CIS accounts, or some good 800's 
        or anything of "value".  You don't really need to include any of this,   
        but if you can it makes you look "better".  NEVER, EVER give the Sysop   
        ANYTHING of any value that you might want to use in the future, because  
        if it's of any worth he will immediately do something stupid to make it  
        stop working.  That you can COUNT ON!

   XII. Close it up with the ususal "Thanks for your time", but sign it with     
        your full handle, followed by group.  PROFESSIONAL!  [Giggle]  <STOP     
        THAT!  I'M SERIOUS NOW!>  <slap>

    GENERAL TIPS
    ============
       OK, now that I've got you psyched at how easy it is: the bad news.  The
bad news is like this:  In order to be an ELITE Pirate, you don't have to know
ANYTHING, PERIOD, AT ALL, EVER.  All you need to be able to do is operate your
copy of cat-fur with reasonable dexterity and spend 2-5 hours of each day calling
things and uploading NEW WARES.  If you can program, so much the better because
then it's eaisier to join the ELITEST ELITE of piracy: the Cracker's. Now I know
you're thinking it's stupid to have ELITE people who aren't good at anything, but
I never claimed the world was a sensible place.
       With PHREAKING (let me just say that when I say PHREAKING I also mean to
include HACKING) you are expected to APPEAR to know how things work.  Now that is
a little tricky.  It's tricky because ELITE boards like to have FILTER'S.  A kind
of "front door/quiz" combination.  The trouble with that is, that the Sysop
doesn't really know what he's doing either and will take the questions out of an
ELITE FILE.  The problem is that the ELITE FILE might not have been accurate, so
even if you know the answer, you might not know the answer that the Sysop is
expecting, and-as far as the Sysop is concerned-is the "RIGHT" answer.  This
means that you had better stop laughing at those stupid files and deleating them,
because if you want to get access someplace, you might need them for something
besides "god, is he stupid!" jokes!

    "HOME" PHONE NUMBERS - AND HOW TO DEFEAT THEM  
    =============================================
       OK, so now you know how to get validated, what to say and how to act.  Let
me get you past the last and only "real" hurdle to access to everything you
desire.
       Let me say it right now:  Voice validation is a load of crap.  It doesn't
work, it never has worked and it never will work.  But is sure makes 
Sysop's  feel good, and being the egotistical fools that they are, they're going
to make you go through this bullshit to get access.
       I would NOT suggest leaving an infinite busy as your home number.  This
works on legitimate boards, but I don't know any underground board Sysops that
are THAT stupid.

    METHOD 1
    ========       Leave a telephone number of a random person from your
"computer buddy!"  phone list.  When the Sysop calls, he'll get a human voice
that will say HELLO in a annoyed kind of tone.  Confirming the existence of a
human being at the other end of the telephone number you just gave him, the
Sysop will assume no reason to doubt you, and slam down the phone because he's
not good at starting conversations with people he's never talked to before.   

   METHOD 2
   ========
       Find a kid at school who you're friends with.  Explain the general idea of
"boards" to him, tell him you need his help in breaking into some secret FBI
computer system.  All he has to do is say "yes" to the questions you're going to
write down for him, and claim to be the person on the piece of paper you're
giving him.
       This is really almost ideal if your friend isn't the stupid type that
stutters and can't lie.  If he can lie and doesn't care, then you're all set for
the rest of your modem existence!

    METHOD 3
    ======== 
 TODO- | INSERT CALL-FORWARDING # TO # PROCEDURE USING SCCS |
 
   METHOD 4
    ========
  TODO- | VOICE MAIL / ANSWERING SERVICES |

YOUR NEW PERSONNA -- HOLDING IT TOGETHER AND MAKING IT WORK  
=========================================================== 
       This is really basic.  It's so basic that almost nobody I know ever
bothers to sketch in the details and can be tripped up when you ask an off-
handed question that in theory has no significance, but in actuality causes him
to say "uh, well" and pause for a few seconds while he tries to think of
something.  Only very good bullshit artists can glibly pull it off when you
"catch them off guard" but even then they will frequently forget what they told
you in the past if you bring it up again a few days later.
       What I'm talking about is the "new you" complete with name, address, tn, 
state, zip code, street number, general weather of the area, brothers, sisters,
physical description, SS#, job, marital status, birthday, age, education, 
"underground" history, etc...  In short, you are creating an entire new person
who should have a real life entirely seperate from your own.  In order to pull
this off you need to think of all these things before-hand, and if you're new at
this, don't get carried away by pretending to be 20 people all at once.   Just
make up ONE concrete personality whose existence you can justify, and then type
it up, print it out, and tape it to the wall in front of you so it's  ALWAYS
there, because the time when you least expect it, is the time you're going to
need it the most.       As you get better you'll find you can juggle an almost
infinite number of these alter-ego's in your head, but don't get over-confident
too fast or you WILL blow something that you're working hard at right now.   

   IMPERSONATING OTHER PEOPLE
   ==========================
       Every year the "underground" community mirrors the legitimate modem world
and gets exponentially larger.  Instead of everybody knowing everyone else, 
there is now a huge collection of people who don't know anything about anyone who
existed 5 years ago; last year; or even last month.  This works greatly to your
advantage because it saves you the effort of slapping together your own files. 
All you need to do is log some handle into the system you wish to access; upload
a few files written by the person or persons you are about to impersonate; wait a
few days; now login the person whose identity you wish to assume.  Quite simple.
      In the past few months I have actually passed myself off as BIOC Agent
003, Lord Digital, Lex Luthor and assorted past and present members of LOD,
Apple Bandit and various other Apple Pirates of yore, and several dozen other
people.  Two years ago I could never have gotten away with this unless I was
calling some board in the middle of nowhere.  Nowadays it's possible, even easy,
to impersonate almost anyone who has ever made some kind of mark on the  history
of the underground in the past; simply because the people you're going to be
dealing with were NOT around a few years ago and have no idea who any of these
people are.  When confronted with a "famous" user, they will never in their
wildest dreams assume that he's a fake; the only thing they will be  thinking is
how neat it is to have him on their BBS once you let them know who he is.      
You can easily make up a new character who never existed outside of your profile
of him, but this requires more work on your part when it's much  simpler to just
pretend being someone else.  NONE of those people will EVER turn up on that
particular board, and even if they did you should be able to convince the Sysop
that YOU are him and he is the fake.  Amusing to say the least.
       In case you're letting some last vestiges of morality creep in, remember
that the people you're going to be impersonating are not hallowed icons.  They
are just guys who spent an inordinate amount of time building up their image to
such a degree that countless little kids think they're cool and a few misguided
-- and blessedly free of intellect -- security people, think they're dangerous.
Not to forget the fact that aside from LODdies, none of them will ever be seen on
a board again, so if you fear "Phreak retaliation;" don't worry about it. Nobody
can do anything to you if they don't know who you are.       The previous
paragraph exists solely to galvanize otherwise recaltricent and cowardly
pre-teens into taking some kind of action and having fun.

    SAFETY - GETTING BUSTED!
    ========================
       People who get caught for doing something they shouldn't have been doing,
are apprehended for one of two reasons:  They are either cretins, which covers
the vast majority of those "busted," or they are not good judges of character and
spend their time associating with "friends" who do stupid things, and will drag
you down with them when they really fuck up.  Which WILL happen at some point to
most of the people who convince themselves "it's just fun."
       The "underground" IS fun, but looking at it from the eyes of those whose
job it is to keep track of you, it stops being fun and you should realize that
many of the things you take for granted -- be they free calls, free software, 
whatever, -- are against the law.  And if you give people the oppurtunity to hurt
you -- ESPECIALLY when they are placed in such a position that by busting you
they increase their own status in whatever field they are employed in -- then you
are going to get hurt!
       Many of you hate all the "narcs" and "sting boards" and whatever new 
bullshit the people arrayed against you come up with.  You SHOULDN'T!  Cable Pair
and the rest are nothing more than the underground's personal garbage collection
agency.  Rather then thinking of them as people who are some kind of hinderence
to you, it's far more logical to think of them as glorified  trash collectors;
which is about all they are.  Every so often some new sting is exposed, and the
underground is rid of a boardfull of annoying kids that were stupid enough to
login someplace with real names, numbers, and addresses. Are you really going to
miss this kind of genius?
       If you ALWAYS use the methods outlined in this article, then your chances
of getting caught for anything will dramatically decrease.  Who are they going to
find when every single piece of information you gave them is a lie.  None of your
modem friends can take you down with them, if they don't know who you are. It's
as simple as that.
       Naturally this is more difficult than it sounds due to the fact that many
of you will want to make friends with people, and that's hard to do when 
everything the other person knows about you is a lie.  At this point you just
have to use your best judgement concerning your further actions.      
Personally I find it best to associate with a small group of friends who really
are "friends" not just "computer buddies."  Because if you pick your friends well
they will never fuck you over.  Meanwhile when some kid you know only  over the
phone, who lives in another state, gets caught...  He is going to be more than
happy to throw them anyone and anything he can think of just to get off himself;
and that will include YOU.  The "Hacker ethic" is a nice joke that I personally
DO NOT subscribe to, and even those that pay lip  service to such a concept, will
throw their ideals away pretty fast when it's their neck on the line instead of
some hallowed principle thought up by aging hippies.

    THE END
    =======
       What can I say?  I hope you have a good time if this is the way in which
you choose to waste your time.  And a great big "I love you" to the media dudes
who actually called up 2600 magazine asking about "Marbles BBS."  Where would we
be without you?  Youz guys are just so funny!
       ...so after the 198th level of security I hadda boot up my DES-descrambler
and really get serious because the 48th digit in the alphanumeric random code was
giving me some trouble and the system was about to nerve gas all of  greater Utah
-- no great loss but anyway, besides I was still kinda shaken up from the
automatic phone-line voltage induction infinite baud device modem-fry they tried
to get me with last time, but all ya gotta do at the prompt that changes but is
usually "):YA?:" you type "-*8tmx$qptL0DISG0D" and the system turns you into the
remote Sysop and lets you destory the credit rating of any person ya want!       
          Have a nice day and a really, really nice life!