💾 Archived View for thurk.org › blog › 384.gmi captured on 2023-11-14 at 08:08:26. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Shambal and his religion fetish

Topics: absurdity, religion, shambal, goats

2016-05-22

Shambal was well known for his obsession with religion not only in his own land but in empires abroad both fallen and in the throes of power. He was brought up by a despotic mother stewing eternally (well, eternally until her demise) in catholic ideology. To finally flee his childhood oppression and its monkey clawing like his later cocaine demon at the back of his neck for decades and then for centures, he decided to reform the old ways and scribed the following:

The Ten Goat Commandments

Thou shalt not have other goats before me
Thou shalt carve my visage into every stone and tree
Thou shalt smite human females in my sacred name
Remember the Copulation Day and penetrate me with thy penis
Honour my goat ancestors and goatlings by penetrating them
Thou shalt kill only the females of thy own kind
Thou shalt save the juices from our copulation for thy otherwise pitiful cocktail parties
Thou shalt steal ovaries from thy human females, implant them within me so that I may gestate and birth a hybrid goat-being
Thou shalt expose my reeking genitals to thy neighbours
Thou shalt teach their own progeny to worship and penetrate my kind

tzifur (Martenblog home)

jenju (Thurk.Org home)

@flavigula@sonomu.club

CC BY-NC-SA 4.0