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As promised, here is my FAQ on Lasik, based on what people asked me the most in the weeks following my successful surgery. Hopefully these will be of use to you, the reader, and allay some concerns you had about it.
No. They numb your eyes beforehand w/ eye drops.
$2500 per eye. It'll be $2000+ at a good place. Don't trust places offering Lasik for only $900. These are your eyes we're talking about.
23 seconds in each eye.
It took ~10 days, but my eyes were really bad beforehand.
-4.5/-6.0 left/right.
It might take less time if your prescription isn't as strong.
Probably. It cures astigmatism, mild/moderate/slightly severe myopia, & mild hyperopia. Myopes have it better because part of myopia is having thick corneas. Hyperopes tend to have thin corneas, so anything beyond maybe +3.0 is iffy. You need enough room in your corneas for the laser to do its magic, otherwise it's cutting into the deeper parts of your eyeball.
Myopia = nearsightedness. You can see up close, but not far away.
Hyperopia = farsightedness. You can see far away, but not close up.
For any 50+ readers, you may have noticed new "farsightedness". This is totally normal and has its own separate name: presbyopia. If you find yourself needing glasses to read your phone or a book, that's probably why. Please see your eye doctor to be sure. This FAQ is not meant to substitute advice from a real eye doctor.
Probably not. Lasik is designed to handle refractive errors like those mentioned above. I think there's a separate surgery for cataracts though. Ask your eye doctor.
No. You can have them done one at a time, but beware that means you're putting yourself through 2 of these surgeries and 2 recovery periods.
Yep! I was already 20/30 when I woke up the next day.
Actually, they give you half a Xanax before the surgery specifically to calm your nerves. Then they tell you to take the other half when you get home and you'll have, in their words, "the best nap of your life". I'm not sure it was my best, but I did fall into a peaceful slumber for hours. When I fell asleep, it was light out. When I woke up, it was dark out.
Squeamishness warning: They force your eyelids to stay open with a thin metal bracket that slips underneath your eyelid at the top and eyehole at the bottom. Beware: this can stretch out your eyelids temporarily, causing some new droopiness.
3 sets of eyedrops at the start: an antibacterial, a second prescription I forget the purpose of, and regular eye drops for lubrication. You only need to use the first 2 until they run out. You must absolutely NOT rub your eyes for the first 2 weeks or so. You wear a blindfold while sleeping to stop yourself from rubbing them in your sleep. If you do rub them before the cut heals, the surgery will slip out of place. Even then, you can just call the surgeon and they'll do an emergency Lasik surgery to put it back in place. But do you really want to go through that twice?
Yes of course. Everyone should see the eye doctor once per year, not just those who need glasses. In fact, where I went, there was a 1 day follow-up, a 1 month follow-up, a 3 month, 6 month, and 1 year - all separate from my annual checkup.
Jake Steiner is a quack who spreads lies and conspiracy theories about optometry and its industry. You can NOT cure your myopia by staring at an eye exam chart all day or doing "eye exercises" or staring at the sun. Stop reading his tripe.
Hard to say since you're reading this over the Internet in a text-based format. :P