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Every President Sucked

15 Feb 2021

(Not exhaustive; based on cursory readings of parts of Wikipedia articles.)

Wikipedia articles

Washington thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Adams signed the Alien and Sedition Acts, which were xenophobic and authoritarian.

Alien and Sedition Acts

Jefferson thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Madison thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Monroe thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Quincy Adams thought partisanship could be solved by appointing his enemies to office (but aside from that he seems pretty decent).

Jackson thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property, and was extremely enthusiastic about Native American genocide.

Van Buren thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Harrison thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Tyler thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Polk thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Taylor thought it was morally acceptable to own human beings as property.

Fillmore signed the Compromise of 1850, which had numerous elements which propagated slavery, and wound up attached to the Know-Nothing Party.

Pierce supported the illegitimate pro-slavery government of the Kansas Territory.

Buchanan encouraged the Supreme Court's decision in *Dred Scott v Sandford* that the Constitution does not apply to Black people.

Lincoln

ran on a platform of allowing slavery to continue in the states where it already existed
reversed Frémont's emancipation order in Missouri in the early months of the Civil War
rejected the Radical Republicans' pressure to immediately and uncompromisingly abolish slavery
suppressed a Native American uprising
was generally a moderate on issues where moderation is unacceptable.

Johnson

opposed federal protections for voting rights of former slaves
undermined the work of the Freedmen's Bureau
vetoed civil rights protections
generally did everything he could to fuck up Reconstruction.

Grant

gave amnesty to former Confederates that allowed them to hold government office
signed the Comstock Act which suppressed both educational and erotic speech about sex
appointed zero Native Americans to the Board of Indian Commissioners
approved of the erasure of Native culture
started treating Native tribes as subordinate to the US instead of independent and sovereign

Hayes

sent the military in to suppress strikes
continued Grant's cultural assimilation of Native Americans
opened the door for immigration restrictions based on country of origin

Garfield

felt gross about racial political equality
fucking died lmfao get rekt

Arthur

restricted immigration in some racist & ableist ways
gave us the "public charge rule" that's used to deny immigration rights to people who might rely on welfare
strengthened federal territory polygamy bans (fuck the Mormons, but like. my polyamorous ass would prefer to have my options open)
opened up Native American reservations to settlers

Cleveland

fucked up the linear timeline of presidents
vetoed a bunch of welfare
didn't enforce civil rights protections
fucked over Chinese immigrants
approached relationship with Native Americans as guardianship, not diplomacy
sent in the military to break up a railroad strike, killing 30 people
approved of the Supreme Court's "separate but equal" decision in Plessy v Ferguson

Harrison

didn't do anything about the Wounded Knee Massacre
opened more Native American land to settlers
tried to annex Hawaii, backed a coup against the queen, recognized the illegitimate government

McKinley

didn't bother enforcing antitrust laws
didn't bother opposing Jim Crow laws
finished the annexation of Hawaii
fucked everything up after kicking Spain's ass in the Spanish-American War: * ignored the independent government in Cuba, set up a military government instead * went to war with the independent government in the Philippines, sent Taft to take over * set up military governments in Puerto Rico and Guam, left them with "unincorporated territory" status so people who live there don't have full constitutional rights
generally an imperialist dipshit
lmao Czołgosz got his ass, pour one out for a real one

Roosevelt

didn't really do much good for civil rights
more imperialism
shenanigans around the construction of the Panama Canal
more racist immigration bullshit

Taft

caved to racists demanding positions be filled with white people
more racist immigration bullshit
fuckery in Nicaragua

Wilson

lots of racism
drafting people for WW1
oppressing dissent against WW1, including fucking over Eugene V. Debs
did i mention the racism
the dude literally supported segregation
like. he told Black military members "segregation is not a humiliation but a benefit, and ought to be so regarded by you gentlemen."
constantly intervening in Latin American governments
sent troops to fuck with the Bolsheviks mid-Revolution
didn't recognize the Russian Soviet Republic
and also the racism

Harding

bullshit immigration restrictions
opposed federal unemployment benefits
opposed racial integration socially
kept Wilson's segregation
rolled back antitrust stuff
lots of corruption and scandal

Coolidge

more fuckin immigration restrictions
avoiding antitrust enforcement
proto-supply-side trickle-down tax cuts

Hoover

enforced Prohibition
fucked up response to the Great Depression
removed Black leaders from the Republican party to court racists in the South
more goddamn immigration bullshit! kicking out Mexican-American citizens! ethnic cleansing!
sent the Army in to fuck up some veterans who were protesting for prompt payment

Roosevelt

Japanese internment
immigration fuckery
not accepting Jewish refugees

Truman

nuking Japan
purged communist sympathizers

Eisenhower

CIA coups in Iran and Guatemala
pretended Castro didn't exist
mass deportations
didn't stop McCarthy
started COINTELPRO
wasn't really on board with desegregation
institutional homophobia

Kennedy

invasion of Vietnam, with all the attending war crimes and bullshit
Bay of Pigs Invasion
CIA fuckery all over the place in opposition to leftism
military alliance with a post-Suez-Crisis expansionist Israel
took a while to start proactively protecting civil rights

Johnson

expansion of Vietnam War
spying on anti-war movement
fuckery in Dominican Republic

Nixon

i mean. c'mon. he's mainly remembered for Watergate, the scandal so big we name all our other scandals after it.
opposed to forced integration
prosecuted the Chicago Seven
suppressed the Pentagon Papers
let Kissinger do heinous Kissinger shit in Cambodia
fucked over Allende, supported Pinochet's bullshit oppressive regime
didn't end the Vietnam War

Ford

pardoned Nixon
fucked over Vietnam, presumably butthurt that the US lost
kept Kissinger around
supplied Indonesia for its invasion of East Timor and fuckery therein
didn't die

Carter

opposed universal health care
continued support for oppressive regimes in Saudi Arabia, Iran, etc
sheltered the Shah of Iran from justice
fucked up the rescue mission in the Iran hostage crisis

Reagan

racism
supply-side economics
anti-communism
put Scalia on the supreme court
recovered from an assassination attempt
broke the air traffic controller strike
heightened the war on drugs
didn't take AIDS or gay rights seriously
propped up oppressive regimes in Latin America
Iran-Contra
allied with apartheid South Africa

Bush

didn't retract nomination of Clarence Thomas after Anita Hill spoke out
invaded Panama to overthrow the CIA stooge who had previously been in charge
sent Kissinger to negotiate with China
tried to make it illegal to burn the flag
pardoned the Iran-Contra people

Clinton

welfare reform (the bad kind)
deregulated banking, energy, and telecom
settled for "don't ask don't tell"
signed DOMA
extended copyright
workplace sexual misconduct
mass incarceration

Bush

lied about WMDs in Iraq
"war on terror"
Patriot Act
Abu Ghraib
Gitmo
blamed Israeli-Palestinian tension on the Palestinians
fucked up the response to Hurricane Katrina
doesn't care about black people
tried to privatize Social Security

Obama

frequent use of sanctions as warfare
let the feds do a bunch of evil shit in Ferguson etc
did not withdraw from Iraq and Afghanistan
prevented UN from calling for a Palestinian state
increased aid to Israel
didn't close Gitmo
extensive drone strikes, lots of civilian casualties, blew up a damn hospital, extrajudicially murdered a US citizen on purpose
continued supporting Saudi Arabia despite fuckin heinous shit
mass surveillance, defense of PRISM, extension of the Patriot Act
war on whistleblowers (Manning and Snowden should both have been pardoned fuckin instantly)
fucktons of deportation

Trump

bro do i even gotta list this shit

Biden, for the like month he's been in there so far

backed down from $2000 fuckin instantly
appointed a bunch of liberal centrist dipshits in his cabinet
he's a goddamn rapist
let Fauci keep his job after lying to the public about COVID

happy (slightly late) presidents' day!