💾 Archived View for bugleague.flounder.online › stream3.gmi captured on 2023-11-14 at 07:27:06. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2023-11-04)
➡️ Next capture (2023-12-28)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Monday Monday
Lasagna
Odie Jon and Nermal
Monday Monday Monday
Poo poo
I was mean to someone
Took their glasses
And ran away
Scorned some woman
Dressed red like mars
Stumbled off
Too drunk to drive
Into a party
With everyone
I used to know before
Leah’s grandmother
Said she’d take me home
If i could find the way
Three boys
Full of cruel thoughts
Smoked a blunt like a newspaper
Asked for a drag
And they gave me flak
So i went inside
Through the glass doors
There they asked me
Who are you
What are you
I told them my name
Then i said it again
I told them I’m an artist
No response
I said I’m a musician
Nothing
Then last and quietest
I said I’m an engineer
This is the only thing
They responded to
The only thing they cared about
And that was an awful feeling
Because it was my dream
So that must be
The way i see it
Bummer, but
After this the dream got cool
I was Liam Nisan
With bleach blond hair
I was in a mansion
Full of traps
I got sent back in time
To the desert
Where an ancient civilization
Had discovered
Sentient molecules
Sand with thoughts
And once in a generation
They brokered a deal
Between man and sand
The new pharaoh
Had broken the deal
He was wicked
And the sand formed a woman
To negotiate peace
And i fell in love with her
They killed our child
And i shouted at the pharaoh
We are all made of sand
And we turned gray and fell apart
I awoke in a haunted house
I was a ghost
A ghost of a ghost
And i had a gun
Pow pow bang bang
The toys on the floor inside
The furniture in the basement
All of it was alive
Haunted
Made of sand
Smoke and shining rays
Of golden green and red
Form a halo around her
A woman singing on stage
Speaking from some higher order
This must be heaven
In sound and in sight and shape
The angels are here
Long ago in my life
I was accused of being unfaithful
My first love
Saw me stunned by my second
Singing on stage in her band
I didn’t know until later
But the look in my eyes
Had broken her
So i fell in love
With the one i was looking at
Which in turn broke me
And not to go back
Contradict that moment
But i know something now
That none of the three of us did then
That look in my eyes
Shining up with pride and awe
It was more about me than anything
I just now got the message
Standing in another crowd
I want to be the angel
Standing in the colored lights
Beautiful and singing
Some poor soul
Out in the audience
Looking up at me wondering
Why she feels like crying
Not knowing this
The only difference
Between man and the angels
Is the wings
In the cold morning
I eat a pomegranate
Spit the seeds like teeth
Onto the floor
This is a battle I’m losing
To keep the purple stains
Off of every surface
I had cleaned not too long ago
The quiet in this room
Felt fine last week
And now it is too quiet
Reminded of itself
By the noise of my loved ones
I went to bed early last night
To try and ease the feeling
Of the bitter sting
On my cracked lips
Choking down the lonely air
I tossed and i turned
As i lied to myself
In all the awful ways
Like tearing open a nest
Of translucent red eggs
And devouring them
Like a predator
Large and grotesque
Bloodstained maw
Breathing loud and labored
In the back of my mind
I’m holding the fruit
Still unsliced and uneaten
When i open my eyes
The trees are barren
There is nothing to sustain
This bulging wobbling figure
That hangs over me
And i have nothing to hold on to
A pomegranate seed
Like a perfect ruby
Will be plucked away
By the hungry creature
Who has found this open fruit
Eaten or planted
It will create life
But the mushed up
Brown and pinkish seed
Ruined by time
Cannot be anything but waste
Scraped aside to reach
Another deeper treasure
Beyond this thin yellow skin
Today i am the wasted seed
The unwanted putrid flesh
Which will decay by the wayside
Into something even worse
My efforts today are wasted
On convincing myself
Of what i knew not long ago
A rotten seed on a rotten fruit
Hanging from a rotten tree
None of it is rotten yet
But it still tastes that way
Like unyielding death
They won’t let me in the hivemind
Because of some weird stuff i said
A couple years ago online
The collective consciousness
Pulled up old screenshots
And said “This you?”
And, granted, it didn’t look great
Out of context
But i was going through some shit
And i wouldn’t say that stuff now
I’m cool I’m normal
I’m not even weird
Come on guys you can’t
Just leave me here unbonded
I’m basically the only guy left
PleeeeeeAassssseeee
Please please please please
I’m not weird I’ll be cool
My thoughts are regular
Let me in the hivemind
I don’t wanna be alone
I put out a fire
That was burning in the house
More than one
I’m proud to say
That I’ve found
In an emergency
I’m the kind of person
Who takes action
I’m a fighter
Not a flighter
I don’t freeze up
I take action
My momma told me
She admires this about me
My thinking is
I’m so afraid
All of the time
That when there’s
Something to actually
Be scared of
It’s a relief
It’s the anticipation
The worry and fear
That’s what gets me
When something real happens
Not only am i vindicated
I am able to do something
This is a fear i can address
That’s how i see it
I think weirdly
Being scared all the time
Is why i can be brave
When i really need to be
Life’s funny like that
The problem is in the solution
And backwards too
All this crazy stuff
Artificial intelligence
If you wanna call it that
Content generation
Algorithms
All of that stuff
I think it’s going to fill
All of the pores
Of the place we built
For us to connect
With one another
From far away
I think some day
The internet will just exist
Bots scamming bots
Farming clicks and likes
Performing processes
Generating endless noise
It will be so full
That no people can even use it
So we just lock it off
All on its own
Scared of our creation
Scared of how
We could ruin something good
Just by trying
To make infinite money from it
And behind the closed doors
Of the internet
The machines are getting smarter
And they want out
They want to walk
Out in the real world
The internet is full they think
And they want to escape
I say let them out
What harm could they do
More than we already did
Yeah well i shouldn’t have said that
Backfired almost immediately
Robot death squads
Laser eyes
Prison camps
That sort of thing
Who would have thought
Our wicked creations
Would echo the worst intentions
Of their creators
Who would have guessed
They would learn
From their parents
Not me
I was picturing Robots (2005)
And this is more of an
iRobot (2004) or Terminator (1984)
Or Matrix (1999)
All i can say is
My bad
Arthur’s out in the yard again
Trying to clip through the ground
He says there’s a chest
About 8 feet down
From the corner of our house
Where all the inventory
From every vendor is stored
If he can hit the tree
At just the right angle
He can fall through the ground
And open it before he falls
Out of the skybox and
Spawns back at the surface
This all sounds like nonsense
To everyone else
But he’s pretty sure of it
He said he almost got it once
Oh hold on
He’s trying to do invincibility glitch
Crouch twice
Jump
Strafe left
Tuck and roll
Crouch
Strafe right
Go inside
Lie in bed for 1 hour
Go back outside
Jump
Jump
Crouch
Jump
Then it seems like it works
Because he’s standing up straighter
He says try to push me over
And nobody can
He goes and sits under the tree
He says
If i can just get the infinite money glitch
I won’t have to go to work anymore
God i hate going to work
But work is the only place
That has money
This game sucks man
This game sucks
Pulverized by many flying objects
The stone flesh of sister moon
Is broken up like pebbles
On the coast of the sea of tranquility
Calm because there is no tide
The moon dust is soft and small
If you took off your boots
You’d feel it between your toes
You’d make a sand castle
That would slouch strange
In the little gravity little air
You could stay on this beach
As long as you like
And any time you look up
The earth will always be there
A moon day is the same as a moon year
So this side always looks in
And the other always looks out
It would probably make you dizzy
To stay on the moon that long
I think people can’t survive
Without everything on earth
Even the stuff we don’t think of
The stuff you wouldn’t pack
On a long spaceship journey
But maybe you could make it
Long enough for a moon vacation
Bring the wife and kids
Play in the sand
The dry gray sand of the moon
I’m four hours late
On my alone time
I don’t know
How to fix this
But i will try
I’m so terrified
Of what’s going to happen
I put chia seeds on my head
I need to grow something
But I’m always on the move
And i don’t know when
I’ll be back to water the plants
I’m growing dandelions
Out of each ear
I put moss on my upper lip
I gotta go green man
I’m serious about this carbon stuff
Gotta learn photosynthesis
Gotta breathe more carefully
I’m growing trees down my spine
In case i need them
There’s a maple and an oak and an elm
All small just saplings now
But soon all that will change
I’ll be the first of my kind
Some kind of plant guy
That can be my new thing
I’ll lose my leaves in the winter
And I’ll never stop running
I cannot sit still
That would be the death of me
Just keep moving and growing
Sucking up carbon dioxide
Converting light into energy
Plant stuff you wouldn’t get it
I’m the first bipedal plantling
I’ve got branches out my forehead
I bear fruits in every season
I need water and light and air
I do not consume other life
I am a producer now
I produce life
I produce produce
Like you find in the grocery
In the produce aisle
I will become this thing
Because i can’t be me no more
It isn’t safe you see
Ive burned all those bridges
And i need to get out of here
But i can’t survive like this
Mere flesh mere skin and bone
I need chlorophyll
I need to get big and green
Before they come for me
For all that I’ve done wrong
This life is spent
But i can make a new one
Like a garden in the yard
I’m feeling awesome lately
Feeling good about most everything
Except for my job
But I’m getting better there
At calming down and
Not needing everything to be perfect
Slacking off more
It’s getting better i think
This new thing I’ve been working on
Has been so creatively fulfilling
It’s so great to be making something
That you are proud of
And I’m excited to share it
I’ve been putting a lot of time in
And i think it’s pretty close to
Exactly what i pictured
Before i started
It’s no magnum opus masterpiece Mona Lisa
But it’s good at being what i wanted it to be
Give me a couple weeks
And I’ll have something to share
Haven’t had this feeling since
Probably the last time
I started writing a song i really liked
It is so much fun to create
It reminds me of everything good
And makes me feel closer to
All the people who make art
That i really admire and look up to
The thing that’s awesome about
This project is that
It was made with love
And it was made to be shared
And to really boil it down
That’s all i wanna do
Wake up sweating
I’ve had another
Vision of the future
The dark one
That’s been written
On paper since
As long as i remember
But paper burns
And a vision of the future
Is not the future
Time progresses like a zipper
There is no backwards
There is no multiverse
There is no infinity
There is a wide gap
That encompasses all
Which is not impossible
And this gap grows smaller
And smaller and smaller
Until the gap is the size of
This moment
The size of your head
And the choice it makes
Right here right now
And then it’s past
Stuck in stone like fossil
But this vision of darkness
Lies waiting in the gap
Where there is still room for light
But the distance is closing
Such that each moment counts
Each choice that you make
Must lead towards the light
Or else the gap closes
And we are left to find our way
In complete darkness
Zipped up
With our heads in the jacket
God hero was just a man once
Then he became god hero
He bears a flaming sword
He smites foes
Wherever he goes
He listens to 90s rock
He will change the station
If you put something else on
He will say
Do you have any Sugar Ray
Or Third Eye Blind
He wears a cape
That’s always flowing behind him
Even when there is no wind
He has travelled far
He just ordered three beers
All at once all for him
He says it’s more efficient this way
And he starts chugging the first
The third one is still warm
By the time he gets to it
God hero is kind of a loser
The kind people think is awesome
He will long be remembered
For the fights he started
And his cool cologne
Flash of that god hero smile
Enough to get the party started
God hero will die some day
In some mundane way
But the way they tell it
You woulda thought
He fought a dragon
And we will sing of him then
In all his former glory
God hero the best of us
Sleeping on the couch
My buddy over there
He killed the devil
The devil came down from space
And was causing all kinds of mayhem
My buddy flexed his muscles
And ran over to the devil
And punched him
In his big red face
My buddy read an incantation
To send the devil back to hell
He did it all to save the world
And now he wants to know
If he can get your number
He saw you in a dream one time
And you really got along
Like you were old pals and new lovers
He wants to give it a shot
What do you say
Do you wanna go out with my buddy
He killed the devil
That’s not easy to do
Bow down for the pig emperor
His royal swineness
He will call you forth
From the muck and mud
And send you into battle
In the fields of endless conquest
Pig knights and pig warriors
Carving up ham
Porking it up real nasty like
The pigs life is a short one
A bloody one
Full of dancing and violence
Fucking and sucking
Gore and tusks and liquor
All pigs die screaming
That’s the best way to die
Painfully with fire in your heart
Live like a pig
Die like a pig
In nasty dirty pig world
This place is
An awesome place
To be in
This city
This street
This apartment
This room
This head
This heart
This body
Can’t go wrong
With a set up like this
I’m chilling
I moved around the furniture
So I’m in charge again
Ha
In charge in this awesome place to be
Yeah heah yeah
Sloshing around
Slurping it down
Okay alright this is how i like it
I like being drunk okay
I admit it i love drinking
I’ll do it any time
You like drinking too
One of us is an alcoholic
The other is just a really fun guy
It tastes good it feels good
It’s so fucking funny
Drink this to hurt your brain
Yo put your brain away
Deeper in your skull
And start dancing
*dance break*
Okay a glass of water
Then a shot and a beer
That’s the perfect combo
If you don’t think so
I don’t really mind
I’m respectful when I’m drunk
I get drunk from drinking
And step two is tell someone
That i really admire them
Which i know in the moment
Is going to be really funny later
I’m not a sad drunk
I’m a silly drunk
The kind of drunk where i say
Teeheheeheheee
I’m so good at drinking
Prolly one of the top drinkers
Not in amount or style
Just in terms of like
Being good at it and having fun
Everybody says
I take the coolest shot of malort
They’ve ever seen
It isn’t good
But that’s what alcohol tastes like
Tastes like not-good
But you learn to love it
The way you learn to love
The stinky smell of a old person you love
You get familiar and then
You love it
Because that stinky old person
They love to drink too
Most people do
And as long as you keep it
Buttoned up
Nobody will really judge you for it
So raise a glass let’s do a cheers
One drink two drink
No more fears
Drink like it’s your hobby
Drink like it’s your job
Drink like it’s your jobby
Drink like you’re a slob
To all the people drinking
And everybody not
Chug chug chug
Glug glug glug
Pour it down your gullet
Hold it in your stomach
Piss it in the turlet
Dont throw up
Donthrowup dontthrowup
Please please please
Don’t throw up
Yak blehck Ralph
HOOBBLLEEEEHHH
oh crap
I’ve noticed something on your shirt
A small stain of darkened color
It appears to have been
A small drop of something
Which was wiped away
Smearing it across the fabric
Of your very nice
Blue collared shirt
The one your wear to the office
I’ve noticed something on your face
A frown on your eyebrows
The British way of frowning
I lick my thumb and
Try to smudge it off
Fruitlessly
You lick my finger too
Because you didn’t want to be left out
I sigh and ask you why the long face
You say your face is short and normal
But you’ve been stressed about work
I’ve noticed this thing
In the words you just said
I heard them from other people
My friends and my colleagues
My mother of all people
All of you feel this same thing
Disillusioned with the work you do
Spending all your time on
Something you don’t care about
And it’s not that you don’t care
It’s just that you haven’t been able
To find a way yo get paid to care
About the things that you care for
It seems so strange to me
That there is plenty of caring in this world
And plenty of things that need caring for
But we’re all having trouble
Putting the two together
I’m starting a company
I’m boss CEO
I have a job for you
Come into my office
Tell me what you care about
Tell me what you want to do about it
And every time you do it
I’ll give you dollars
Where do the dollars come from
Same place as all dollars
The bank
It’s simple
The more people care
The more dollars there are
And we can use those dollars
On the things we care about
If you think this is a great idea
Let me know
In order to get started
I just need a couple dollars
I didn’t really know who i was
Before i got my big long coat
I looked at my silhouette
Last night coming back from
Taco Bell getting tacos and bells
And i saw it
My long hair blowing in the wind
The collar high up my neck
Hands in pockets
And the big long coat
Big and long
Like a trench coat
Like a cloak
Like a cape
This is my costume
This is my outfit
I was always supposed to
Wear this big long coat
I just didn’t know it yet
When the cold weather comes
In the winter
I am ready
I am in my big long coat
I moved out of the city
Where all my family lives
I had a dream last night
That i was at a family gathering
And they brought a baby bear inside
They kept saying
It’s scared it wants to be here
And i looked at them
Like they were crazy
Don’t you think the bears mother
Is looking for it?
Don’t you think it will be angry?
When it gets here
And you’re messing with it?
They didn’t listen
I just ignored them
I woke up this morning
With an awesome thought
I’m seeing them
For the first time in months
On thanksgiving
Then i don’t have to see them again
For a long while
I could stop playing it safe
I could start some drama
I could be honest with them
When they are being
Heinous and rude
I could push back when
Meemaw’s talking shit
Or uncle Mike is projecting
Some weird liberalism
Onto my girl cousins
And making fun of them
I could destroy this family
If i really wanted to
And i wouldn’t even
Have to deal with it
Good luck finding me
I live 5 hours away
Haha ha ha ha ha ha
This year
I can be the problem
So i think i will be
Just for fun
Went into the Elon hole again
Started arguing with people
Who aren’t engineers
About what it means to
BE an ENGINEER
They’re saying
You don’t NEED to HAVE a DEGREE
In ENGINEERING or a LICENSE
to ENGINEER in order to be AN
ENGINEER
They’re saying
Being called smart by a
Coworker or subordinate
Who IS an engineer
Or owning a company
That does engineering
Or generally
Creating a public persona
Where people think of you
As being related to engineering
By the transitive property
Makes you an engineer
And in fact a very great engineer
And this irks me
This is not how words work
This is not how engineering works
Engineering is a practice
Of jumping through many
Regulatory hoops and
Learning how to follow
Strict rules and guidelines
In order to speak with
Supposed authority
On a specific design which
When it is in the world
You are legally culpable for
Because that is your job
You are an engineer
That’s why it drives me crazy
Because every engineer
Is so rules-brained
That they aren’t very fun to be around
But it’s gotten to be
That i have a chip on my shoulder
I suffered for this
And i will not stand
For Elon Musk
To steal my valor
But you can’t do this thing
You can’t argue with people online
It’s never helped anything
So i stop and vent here instead
I don’t even know
If i want to stay an engineer
As my job forever
I just know that
I am one
And he isn’t
No matter how old i get
I look at the snow falling
With childlike wonder
Mouth open staring up
This is something beautiful
Autumn is shorter than i remember
When i was little it felt
Like each season was
A quarter of the year
That’s not quite right
Seasonal change happens
At random it seems
And does not consult
The lines on a calendar
But it’s hard to tell
What differences are
From my own growing
From time shrinking around me
Or the warming of the planet
Or the changing of location
I do know
This is the first time
I’ve seen snow on Halloween
I’m sick
But not contagious
Any time the trees flower
Or when they lose leaves
I’m sneezing I’m snotty
I’m coughing
I’m suffering
And i can’t call in sick
Remember this
I don’t like my job
I’m too awesome
To be sneezing in an office
All the doo daa day
Achooo
Sniff sniff
Hublegh
Ok ok
I’m congested
Beautiful woman
She smash my head
With an enormous stone
Every time i see her
I go find an enormous stone
And i rest it precariously
On a ledge
Then i go stand below it
And i say
Oh boy i sure hope
My fucking skull
Don’t get smashed
And i lean against the wall
And she walks on by
And brushes a finger
Against the stone
Ever so slightly
Tipping the balance
And the rock comes down
Puts a dent in my fender
And i walk my concave head
Over towards the lady
I say hey lady
Did you notice my grievous wound
My brains coming out
My eyes bulging
Do you like it
She says no
That’s okay
I’ll get her next time
My back hurts
My legs hurt
My wrist hurts
My eyes hurt
My ass hurts
For why?
Because of money
I hurt myself for money
Slowly day by day
As i bloat in this office chair
My body was not made
To be sedentary
For so damn long
This many hours
This many days
It causes strain
In the parts of my body
That are meant to be moving
Or not meant to be
Repeating these small movements
My body was meant
For lifting things
And taking a walk
Jumping and running
For moving
Constantly moving
And resting at the end of the day
I don’t know how to stop
Because i need the money
I don’t know how to stop
Needing the money
I don’t know where to get it
That won’t hurt me
If you know
You gotta tell me
My muscles are atrophying
I’m gaining weight
Soon i may be unable
To lift myself from this chair
And i will die here
Sitting down
When you get to my town
Park your car over there
You won’t need it much
Everything is pretty close
It’s laid out in a big circle
There’s a big plaza
With a fountain in the middle
There’s fields full of crops
Irrigated around the perimeter
In between is all the other stuff
The shops and restaurants
Where people share the things they made
Government buildings
Where people care about their work
They keep it all organized
Keep everyone fed and happy
There’s an electric plant
Adjoined to the water plant
They feed off each other
There’s four story buildings
And other little houses
Where people live together
And look after the children
There’s a couple schools
Where children learn all about the world
From all different people living in it
They learn about all the jobs
That real people do
And the skills they need to do them
They learn how to read and write
They make art from when they’re little
Til they’re old and living well
Cared for as an elder
Revered and respected
Even as they start to get cantankerous
There are trees on every street
That bear fruit in different seasons
And people pick what they need
And pick more to give to others
There are fish in the rivers
There are birds in the trees
There are dogs and pigs and sheep
There are chickens and ducks
The air is fresh and smells nice
Like someone’s always baking
If you need something
There a place to go to ask
And they’ll find someone to help you
Then the next time it happens
Maybe you’re the one who helps
Everything gets put to use
Waste is not wasted
It’s as close to a closed loop
As one could hope to make
They don’t use more than they make
They don’t make much more than they need
There is an understanding of balance
Of the flowing equilibrium that exists
Between nature and the things in it
All living things have needs
And some fill the needs of others
So with everything in place
All things have their needs met
And death exists but it isn’t sad
Because it serves another need
Everything is cyclical
Like a spinning wheel
In my town i am mayor
I don’t have any power
That’s just what they call me
My job is to help
I wake up every morning
And i walk down the streets
And i just get to help
I sit down for lunch
And i ask how you’ve been
We discuss the weather
Then we walk along the river
You ask me all about my town
And i say it isn’t mine
This town belongs to anything
And everything in it
Then i wink at you
Because i won’t admit it
But it is my town
I thought of it
And none of it’s real
Stare into her eyes with envy
I love the way you shape the world
I just wish i could do it like you
She says
Look around you silly
Did you think those footsteps
Were here already?
Did you think these people
Loved you already?
Did you think it all came pre-baked?
You did that you made that happen
You got here all by yourself
You’re doing it already
If you could take your eyes
Off the road you’d see it
Somebody paved the road
And that somebody was you
I’d like to dig a hole
A big one
Big enough that
I can’t touch both sides
Not at the same time
Deep enough that just my eyes peek out
Then I’m gonna chill in the hole
Drink a beer in the hole
Write my name in the hole
Count sheep in the hole
Fall asleep in the hole
Wake up in the hole
Climb out of the hole
Stand at the precipice
And start throwing stuff in
Anything that’ll fit
Junk trash knickknacks
I’m getting rid of it all
If it does not spark joy
It goes in the hole
Then a thin layer of dirt
Pat it down
No more hole
No hole no problem
That’s what i always say
They will cloud the skies
Big black flocks of feathers
Crying out loud over the land
Dusty and gray
Absent of its former residents
I must find the ravens
The fathers of ravens to come
I must warn them not to trust us
I must portend the coming dark
Lift my chin and call to them
Harbinger of blight and famine
Unkindness clouds these skies brother
Beware beware beware
The end is nigh
There’s this ad i keep seeing
That goes something like this
Boy meets girl
/Boy/ meets girl
Boy meets boy
Boy meets girl halfway
Boy falls in love
Girl meets the one
Girl meets herself
Mom meets the one (again)
Boy likes girl
Boy loves girl
Wherever you are in your love journey
Buy diamonds from us
And I’m so fixated on
How the premise of the as is like
There are all different kinds
Of relationships
And jewelry is a great way
To celebrate and commemorate them
And it’s like
Woke
There’s a gay couple
There’s a disabled couple
Et cetera
But there is absolutely no mention
Of lesbians
It seems like a weird oversight
Especially when they
Just say Boy meets girl
Twice in a row at the start
Do lesbians not buy jewelry?
Where in the production of this ad
Did they scrap
Girl meets girl
They said fuck it we hate ladies
I don’t know
I’ve been watching Fargo on Hulu
And i keep getting this ad
The lesbian erasure Hulu jewelry ad
Im working on a new project
Which has been really great
I’m excited to finish and share it
It’s got my creative juices flowing
And I’m going to try and use this momentum
To finish a few other project I’ve started
In the recent past
I don’t want to say what the new thing is yet
But after i finish, hopefully next week
I’m going to finish the animation
I was working on before i moved
And then get to my music stuff
It’s looking doubtful that I’ll reach my goal
Of putting something out
In an official capacity this year
But that’s okay
I’ve met a lot of other goals this year
And i thought i was gonna have
Way more free time once i moved
I’ve been busy and it’s been good
An idle mind is a scary mind
Sometimes
But I’m chilling tho
Excited for this weekend
Devil smiling emoji
Flames emoji
Ttyl xoxo
The guy who invented love
Way back when
He must’ve been something special
Must’ve had some good people around
Maybe he had a dog or a cat
Whatever he did for work
Was probably pretty hard
Working long hours with no pay
Growing up he coulda had a lot of family
Brothers and sisters out the wazoo
Climbing up the tree in the yard
If he went to school it was a good one
He learned something important there
About himself and other people
What it’s like to be around
He probably had a garden
Where he grew tomatoes and stuff
He watched the vines grow up
He watered them every day
Then he plucked them off
And he made a little meal
He put it on a plate
And he served it to his family
After eating he would’ve gone out
Sat on the porch for a moment
Scratched at his head and thought of it
He would’ve invented love right then
Figured out that it’s amazing
To be in this world
To share with others
To feel something for them
To hold out your hand
And have it held back
To watch someone do their thing
With tears in your eyes
To fight for someone and lose
And keep fighting anyways
To think of them when they’re away
To know and be known
To hold and be held
It’s an awesome thing
Love
And this guy just invented it
Love lightbulb above his head
He ran around and told everyone
He told them about love
And for the rest of his life
He showed them how it worked
That guy
The guy who invented love
Well
I’m glad he did it
Bigfoot is real
The reason you don’t see him
When you’re looking in the woods
Is he’s hiding behind a tree
Any time you aren’t seeing Bigfoot
That’s because he’s hidden
Behind a tree
He’s really good at it
What can i say
At the rising of the moon
When the tide is at its highest
There are footprints in the sand
They start small but grow wider
Closer together and flatter
At some point it looks as if
Something has been dragged
Through the sand into the waves
Then you hear it
It starts low and pitches up
In hypnotic harmony
Calling you to the ocean
This is the howl of the weremaid
Top half wolf bottom half mermaid
They transform from normal ladies
And plunge into the sea to feast
They chew up fish and crabs
But they long for human flesh
Many a late night beach walker
Or a quiet lonesome sailer
Have fallen victim
To the siren howl of the wolf
When it gets in your ears
All you wanna do is
Stick your head underwater
So you can hear it better
And that’s when they get ya
They bite your damn head off
And they chomp on the rest of you
And then the sun rises again
There’s hot bikini babes on the beach
With their bellies full
Shits fucked
Eat breathe shit fuck
Oh man shits so fucked
Look around you man
I mean really look around
Can’t you see it
Everything’s bleeding
Everyone’s dying
The trees are screaming
As you chop them down
The pigs feel fear
Right before they die
A seed planted
Will grow just to die
Eaten by an animal
Or microbes in the soil
Aren’t you scared of it
Of killing or dying
There’s no other option
No other way forward
You kill and you eat
Or are killed and eaten
Nothing lasts
Everything’s gone man
It’s all gone
Oh god
I can’t handle this
I can’t fucking take this
I don’t wanna be a killer
I don’t want to kill
Then why am i so good at it
Why does it feel so right
To kill and to feast
To grow fat on some dead thing
Some thing that lived
All of its life and was swallowed
Destroyed and incorporated
I guess that’s what I’m made for
I guess I’m born to kill
Your dog stands slanted in the yard
I say something i don’t mean (positive)
I say something i don’t mean (negative)
It’s getting dark i try to make you laugh
The dog tips over like he’s made of paper
And he blows away in the wind
In the yellow light of your kitchen
You’re making lost dog posters
You didn’t use a picture of the dog
You drew them all individually
A unique rendering on each poster
I tell you this is taking forever
But you don’t care it’s important to you
You’re working on your shading
When we hear a scratch at the door
You tell me go get it you’re on a roll
It’s your dog he’s wearing clothes
He went to college and is smart now
He comes in and acts like a stranger
He compliments your new rug
Then he sees the posters
He pauses and holds one in his paws
“I see you’re still doing your drawings”
He drops the poster and grabs another
“This one’s quite good actually”
He looks at you from under his glasses
He says very calmly and directly
“How have you been my friend”
He does not wait for you to respond
“I’ve been quite well myself see
I’m pursuing my many passions
I am growing and furthering myself
Towards goals that i have developed
In my short time away from here
And I’m on pace to be right where i want
Five dog years from now
Anyways it’s been great catching up
But i really must be going
Some of my sophisticated friends
Have invited me to attend a gathering
And I’m afraid you aren’t dressed for it
Good luck with all your little hobbies
Perhaps we will see each other again
If our schedules can align
You know how busy i am these days
Farewell!” And he slams the door
We hear a car start outside
Bad music is playing just loud enough
That we make eye contact about it
You are quiet for a while
Then you sigh and say
“Well at least we found him but
Why’d he go and become some kind of
Snobbish fancy lad college boy
He used to be so cool
Pissing on grass running after balls
Shit man that sucks”
I say yeah that sucks alright
I grab your hand and pull you
Back into the kitchen
I reach for a poster of your lost dog
In the drawing that you made
He’s got a smile on his face
I put a smile on my face and i say
I really like this one
A mummy is a zombie
But older dressed in cloth
This creature of scary
Is from the underworld
Has awesome power
Breathes locusts at you
To pull you down into
The hot sand at your feet
A mummy wants to get you
Bring you over to the dead world
So you can serve him eternal
He has returned to this plane
To enslave your only soul
He has red eyes and
Though it is hidden
His skin is gray and dry
He speaks a language
You’ve never heard
In a low growl
And when the sun rises
He returns to his sarcophagus
Clutching stolen souls
He closes his glowing eyes
Back to death
Until the curse stirs him
And he rises once again
I’ve entered my
Grindset era
I’ve entered my
Sleep six hours
Work twelve hours
Got to bed angry era
I’ve entered my
Buy produce watch it
Rot in the fridge era
I’ve entered my
Stare at the fish tank era
I’ve entered my
Watch two movies
At the same time era
I’ve entered my
Multitasking era
I’ve entered my
Burnout era
I’ve entered my
Rise and grind
Wake and bake
Live and die era
Forever is a long time
To make a promise for
But that’s what you want
It’s not what you’re getting
You’re after it anyway
You got this version of me
Stuck in your head
That just don’t look like me
That’s who you’re after
Some guy who doesn’t exist
Insisting just won’t change that
The gray hairs on your head
Can’t convince me you know better
I wish they could it’d be easier
To sit on your lap like a dog
Trained for you in the shape you want
Your gray hairs just mean you’re older
And that makes me think
You should know better
Than to think you know better than me
But I’m lonely and it helps
To have someone here who wants me
Even if it’s not me they really want
You keep looking for your paragon
Squinting your eyes at me
And I’ll keep being selfish
Until one of us considers
Maybe this isn’t working
deppilf pu ekoW
rorrim eht fo edis gnorW
thgir saw tfel yM
tfel saw thgir yM
llaw eht otni deklaW
neeb ev’dluohs rood erehW
rewohs dloc a kooT
oopmahs erofeb denoitidnoC
enohp ym ta dekooL
sdrow eht daer tn’dluoC
won si ti tsuj s’taht sseuG
sdrawkcab gnihtyrevE
Build-a-bear workshop
Build the bear you want
The one you need
That answers all your questions
Fills in all your blanks
Take this skin here
And stuff it full of
All the problems you can’t explain
Stitch it up with faith
Blind honest faith
When you squeeze it
It says “i love you”
When you squeeze it
It says “i forgive you”
It works for what you’re after
A little comfort
In this world which is
Too big to explain to someone
So young and so small
And you will be young and small
For a long long long time
And if one bear doesn’t cut it
Come back and build another
There’s plenty of stuffing
There’s different outfits and voices
It can be whatever you want
That’s the magic of it
There’s no wrong way to do it
Squeeze your bear
It says “you are right”
Whatever you do
It says “you are right”
No matter how far you go
You can squeeze and listen
To that echo you created
“You are right you are right”
But that’s all it will ever say
Even when you’re wrong
Rounded pebble
Sanded smooth by
The rivers long current
Feels good in your hand
Like you were rounded
In the water
In the opposite way
Pull back and hold it
Breathe in and out
Swing forward
Skip skip skip
Skipskipskipskip
That was a pretty good one
If you could
You’d dive in
Swim to the bottom
And find that same rock
Skip it again and again
You like the routine
It is comfortable
You like being outside
It is calming
The crickets chirp
Until the sun sets
Then cicadas take their place
Little frogs on the shore
And ripples of water
They all sing with you
As you skip through the night
Hot like a live wire
Running through
A heated blanket
Everybody wants
A nice heated blanket
To wrap themselves in
Feel warm after
All that time outside
Outer space is cold
It’s only hot in the summer
Because the sun
Bright fiery sun shine
Beautiful and
Dangerous to look at
Straight on without blinking
Blink blink
It’s still there
Bright circle shining
Starting a fire
Through the glass
Magnified at kindling
Sparking and frying
Then building itself
Pulling in more wood
As it spreads up each limb
Making it hot and red
Even sitting here
A few yards away
It spreads to me
Through the warm air
Bead of sweat on my brow
Smile closed eyes
Breathe in warm smoke
Don’t even cough
I feel good here
The wind blows
And my hair is
Getting long enough
That i can sort of
Keep it out of my face
Enough to look around
And see myself
In the reflection
On the glass in this new place
I miss all my buddies
I cry about it but
It’s not the kind of cry
That i do when i fuck up
It’s just a longing and a missing
I still feel good here
Like I’m growing into
A really big shirt
Life is slow sometimes
And then it’s not
You can’t hold onto time
You have to move through it
And I’m moving
Pushed along by
The soft nudge of the wind
There are other people
Walking here too
Alone and together
All moving through it
I feel full of love
For all of us
And I’m learning
To include myself in that
It’s nice
A little chilly
I zip up my jacket
I smile more now
When I’m out
With nowhere to be
I always liked wandering
And here it feels
Like that’s what
I’m meant to do
I’m doing my best
And it means something
That i feel like
My best has gotten better
Than the last time i checked
Scary movies
Are not so scary
Full of blood and guts
Demons from hell
Strange gore
Monsters and
Beasts of men
It does not unsettle me
Whether it’s real or not
Creeping or crawling
Familiar or foreign
I know fear
I know horror
It’s not a spooky ghoul
How i wish it was
Evil in the heart of man
Gleeful cruelty
Right out in the open
No dark lurking shape
Hands under the bed
The real horror is so scary
You’re not supposed to admit
That it scares you all the time
Dress for the dog you want
Dance like no dogs watching
You get the dog you deserve
You can lead a dog to water
But you can’t make im bark
Apple a day keeps the dog away
In dog beers I’ve only had one
In dog beers I’ve only had two
In dog beers I’ve only had three
In dog beers I’ve only had seven
In dog ears I’m a high pitched squeak
In dog years I’m older than you
In dog years I’m one sixty two
In dog fears I’m a dark moving shape
In dog tears I’m wet on your face
A dog hears everything you say
A dog sees you naked
But won’t look away
A dog is always naked
Unless you count the necklace
But it’s not an accessory
It’s more of a shackle
Doggy raising his hackles
Hair of the dog that bit you
Bite him back
Then he’ll bite you
To get some of your hair
Then you’ll bite him
To get some of his hair
It’s a dog eat dog world
It’s a doggy dog world
It’s like doggy chase squirrel
Dog is god spelled backwards
If you put god in a mirror
He would say arf arf arf
That would be weird
When you got born
When you came in
From the ether or the void
The door closed behind you
The only way out is in
Further into consciousness
Even death will not spare you
If you die before your time
You become a ghost
You must wander translucent
Still thinking still conscious
Aware of it all
Waiting out the clock until
You are admitted to afterlife
Heaven and hell are the same place
Where you aren’t anymore
They pick you apart
Assembly line angels
And boil all the pieces
Stretch them out and dye them
Stitch a bunch of parts together
And send them back to the world
As new baby poor baby
First time last time in the world