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[] Super Blabnovel-A continuing saga on DATANET (215)-563-9815 []
[] Edited and Ripped Off by The Slipped Disk. (What a guy!) []
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Okay, guys. We're starting over. Be mature about it, don't digress
or get hostile, and just write. Okay? Thanks...
The summer night slowly crept on. A group of teenagers had decided to get
away from the heat and go camping in New Jersey. They had one van and 10 sleep
-ing bags, so they had no problems. For two weeks they were free from parents
and were just pleased to get away. On the last night, everybody felt a little
sad that this was it, but the kids were firm that this would be the best night
yet. A tall red haired girl named
Rommye had planned a sing-a-long for that night, and everyone was looking
forward to it. Two of the boys started collecting firewood at dusk. Withing
an hour they had a roaring fire blazing
and were in the midst of the loudest noise the forest had heard in quite a while
Fifty miles away, a twenty megaton bomb exploded about William Penn's hat.
The temperature rose to 150,000,000 in one millionth of a second. 3,000,000
people in Philadelphia and the area were killed instantly. Everything for
40 miles around ground zero burst into
raging flames.
Fifty miles to the west, the aging vinyard master saw the looming
mushroom cloud. "Damn!", he muttered, "There go my best customers."
He slowly gathered his tools, ambled over to the shed and - as he had
done many times in his many years - put them away carefully. Each one
had its place in a system only he knew.
His daughter (now dead) in Philadelphia used to kid him about the seeming
disorder in the shed. He remembered her chiding him about the randomness
in his organization almost everytime the family - her and his grandchildren -
visited. The memory and the realization that he had been nagged, lovingly,
for the last time brought a sudden tear that ran down one of the many
crags and crevasses in his sun-worn face.
"Well, he said to himself, "she said she'd hafta clean it up someday
and I said she had better wait till I was dead. Too late now ... "
He carefully locked-up the shed, went into the house, got his pistol,
and shot himself. Nobody noticed.
MEANWHILE THE KIDS BACK AT CAMP SAW THE EXPLOSION GLOWING IN THE DISTANCE.
THE TALL RED HAIRED IMMEDIATELY NEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING AND TOOK CONTROL OF THE
SITUATION. SHE ORDERED ALL OF THE KIDS INTO A NEARBY CAVE WHERE THEY ALL
SQUEEZED INTO A CREVICE TO AVOID THE COMING FALLOUT. HOW WAS SHE TO KNOW THAT
THEY MIGHT JUST AS WELL HAVE CHOSEEN TO DIE? HOW WAS SHE TO KNOW WHAT WAS TO
COME? HER NAME WAS WENDI.
Wendi had enough smarts to know that no matter what she did they were all goners
At that range and distance it would be only a matter of moments before the tre-
mendous heat of the blast reached them, then the blast would come, and lastly
the radiation that would cook their bodies from the inside out. She wondered to
herself 'Who would have thought a camping trip would be A-bombed?'
Large billows of sulfurous smoke billowed before Wendi. Then a small
horned creature emerged from tDwithin the stench, coughing.
"By lord Lucifer's gonads, we've GOT to get the transportation system fixed!"
he muttered. Squinting in Wendi's direction, he said "Hey, kid, are you the
leader of this unfortunate bunch?"
"Ye-e-es", she stammered.
"Well the boss has an offer you can't refuseh
We call it the 'pay me now & pay me later' option plan. Here it is ...". The
demon produced a long roll of parchement.
"Oh you devil, you!" she responded, grabbing the document and scanning it.
"The usual Faust contract?"
"Oh, not at all! This is our special instant resurrection plan for
nuclear accidents"
Intrigued, Wendi unrolled the parchement and began to read ...
Suddenly she burst out "What do you mean, '80% of my soul'?????"
"Well, it's really self explanatory. Just sign on the blazing line."
"Sorry, I'd rather live through this nightmare. " she threw the parchment
and walked back into the cave.
The demon sighed and dissapeared. Another one of those days.
Around the world 3500 nuclear warheads exploded. 3,700,000,000 were killed.
Untold havok became the rule, and order the exception.
The entire world blazed with nuclear fire, the once great cities were now all
vaporized into radioactive dust, and the bones of the people who once lived
there were were scattered as the winds began to churn.
Meanwhile back in the cave, Dan found a flashlight, and explored the back of
the cave where he found an entrance to an inner chamber. "Hey! C'mon back guys,
there's more to this cave!" The rest ran towards Dan, and followed him deeper
into the cavern. Rats, and bats scurried past them, and the girls all squealed
as they felt the rats run past their legs, and bats flying past their heads.
As they ventured deeper into the cave, the stark realization of the world
ending hit them.
Wendy decided to change her name again, but the old one, "Rommye",
looked misspelled as it was so she decided on "Suzi", after the heroine in
one of her favourite films. "It's all Reagan's fault," she muttered as they
explored the musty reaches of the cavern.
Marty, one of the younger of the kids, caught her voice as she said it and
asked "Why is it all Reagan's fault?"
"I don't know," she replied; "it just seemed like the thingto say."
"Boy, it's lucky we brought this lantern with us," Carl announced. "It's a
newone, so the battery will last a while. Let's take inventory." They produced
a sack of food, a canteen full of water, and someone had a few old keys from
home that they had somehow grabbed when the bomb hit Philly. Naturally, no one
had remembered the cheese dip, and the only digital watch among them had quit
keeping the correct time earlier that night in a fit of pique.
"Hey, add this to the inventory!" Marty yelled, apologizing an instant later
for showering them all with ceiling debris.
Carl took the black rod from him and examined it, wondering what the star
on the tip was for... it looked for all the world like a Fairy Godmother's magic
than stringent quality control.
As he handed the lantern to Suzi so that he could get a closer and more
careful look at the thing, the teenaged girl cried out, for she had seen a
message inscribed on the wall in an uneven script. Taking the light off Carl's
wand, she focussed it on the rock and the group saw
MAGIC WORD: XYZZY
From deeper in the tunnel-like cavern the song of a small bird incongruously
emerged.
The bird's song grew louder and a flapping of wings was heard....there! out
of the darrk flew a battered sparrow. It perched on a near by rock and
stared at the young campers. An eeire starre - as if to say "you are in
danger here ...you do not belong to this life" .
From the mouth of the cave a yellowish glow came and heat. The blast not many
miles away had finally reached them. They knew now that they were alone in the
orld......alone except for the starnge beings in the cave with them.
Suzi shined the flashlight at the small bird. It sat there arrogant..looking
back into the beam..it's eyes looking evil and penetrating. With a screach and
wildly flapping wings it returned to the darkest reaches of the cave.
Suzi and Carl looked at each other - speechless. Then both turned and looked
again at the scrpit on the wall.....it seemed as if one of the letters had
been misplaced......yes! it had! XYZYZ.
All of a sudden the cave became very dark...even the flashlight did little to
illuminate the room...there was a noise from the mouth of the cave..a sound
like a vault door beeing closed. From deep within the cave the screah of a
bird could be heard. Everyone in the group gathered close together.
They were afraid...alone .... and trapped.
The bird returned to its perch and sat there. Its only thoughts were of
irritability in the mornings due to lack of coffee.It did, however, manage
a brief flutter when Dierdre (another of the younger children) tripped over a
small wire-mesh cage. "Hey!" she called, her voice echoing through the cavern.
"I bet we could trap the cocatiel in this!" (She was immensely proud of knowing
the word "cocatiel", and used it even whenincorrect.)
Carl grabbed the cage and jumped after the bird, narrowly missing it as it
fluttered to another perch in a panicked burst. His jump took him into the
norhtern wall, where the letters "MAGIC WORD XYZZY" were inexplicably back to
normal. "Kuso!" he cursed in Japanese. "It's all Reagan's fault."
"No," replied Navrita (who used to be Suzi, but who had just changed her
name in a fit of pique). "I think it's the wand-- the bird is afraid of it."
"It's STILL all reagan's fault," muttered Carl, who had not changed his
name once this story but felt one coming on nonetheless. Still, after tossing
the artifact to another of his band, he managed to get the bird in the cage
(though it did squawk something about wanting to talk to its lawyer).
[Suddenly, and inexplicably, the scene of our story shifts to outer space.
Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia are on board the Death Star, escaping from
the Imperial Guards.]
LUKE: "Down here, Leia!" (They run down a corridor only to bump into two
armoured troopers. Seeing their weapons, our heroes drop theirs and
raise their hands in surrender.)
TROOPER #1 (into intercom): "Control station, this is Lieutenants Gordon
and Rogers. We have captured the prisoners. Proceeding to
detention block 023 as per orders. Over."
INTERCOM: "Roger." (pause) "Gordon, new instructions. Prisoners are to be
bound and gagged, then transported to the block under Lord
Vader's command... number 7."
TROOPER #1: "Bond and 007, roger. More to come?"
INTERCOM: "Negative. Control out."
TROOPER #2: "Alright, we only have one set of handcuffs so this is what
we'll do. Have the male lie in the corner of the elevator, face
down; I'll sit on top of him to keep him from escaping. The
female will stand in the opposite corner, with your blaster
trained on her. Got that, Gordon?"
TROOPER #1: "Right."
LEIA: "Look, I think I have a plan. When the big one sits on you, throw him
off." (whispers)
LUKE: "But what about the one with the blaster?"
LEIA: "I'll open my coat and distract him."
LUKE: "What good will that do?"
LEIA: "I'm not wearing anything underneath!"
LUKE: "Ohhh, I get it... you flash Gordon and I buck Rogers."
With that, we return to our story.
Rommye, back to her REAL name, couldn't shake the feeling that they had to
go deepeer into the collosal cavern to do anything. She led the group down a
twisty little passageway but stopped short.
"What's wrong?" asked Carl, who decided not to change his name after all
since Rommye/Suzi/Navrita/etc already had.
"Look," she pointed out with a quivering hand. The young man followed it
to the biggest serpent either had seen outside of their high school (but that's
another story).
"Snakes," Carl moaned. "Why does it always have to be snakes?"
The sound of running feet came from behind them. A tall, good looking boy
without a stitch of clothes on ran into the caves. "Boy!" he said. "You
could roast marshmallows on the sidewalk!"
"Why should we?" asked Suzi, after she had gotten over snickering.
"It's all Reagan's fault," the nude youth muttered, and disappeared without
a trace(well, actually he DID leave a trace, but nobody noticed it so it's
not particularly important). They soon forgot about him in lieuu of more
important things.
The marshmallows were delicious; the silence was endless; but when Carl
screamed, "XYZZY", Rommye wanted to ask,"Why, too?", but a deep voice rang
out,"Cave closing soon."
"Boy! You could roast more marshmallows in the street."
"Or a cockatiel."
"Shut up."
As they entered a new portion of the place, they were amazed to find out
that they were utterly and completely lost. They were in a tiny little maze of
passageways, all alike. And there they stayed for some time.
Twelve years later, when they had finally found a way out, the world was
fresh and green again. "Guess that blows all the 'nuclear winter' theories to
hell," noted Stanislaw (Carl, after all this time, had decided to change his
name too). Marshmallow trees and cockatiels abounded, and all the people in
the land were happy. Nobody hit each other with nasty objects any more, and
they even talked kindly to inanimate objects that had inadvertantly caused them
injury. Although the climate was so mild clothes were not neccesary, every man
wore a hat so he could tip it politely to ladies in the street. No one pirated
software, and there were always good, heart-warming shows on television.
It was so boring that the group decided to go back into the cave and pretend
they were still teenagers.
Yet, can time be fooled by simple shenanigans? Apparently so, for in the
cave the group prospered and partied.
This dream that Hursbug (she changed her name again) had would have been
nice, but she awoke to find it that-- only a dream. She looked around.
There was a group of people standing about, whispering to each other
about how pretty and innocent she looked while asleep.
She sneezed violently, without warning.
Everyone saw what Hursbug was hiding in her mouth.
It was a marshmallow.
=-=-=-=THE END=-=-=-=
Well, not really. "It's all Reagan's fault," muttered Noriko (ex-Hursbug et al)
as she woke up to find herself still lost in a maze of tiny little passageways,
all alike. "But if you have a dream of waking up while you're asleep, does that
mean that you're still dreaming, only you think you're awake? Or does it mean
that you've awakened at the moment you dreamed you had?"
"I never worry about that, myself," explained the creature that suddenly
appeaed next to her, waggling its eight eyestalks in a bored fashion. The
ground tilted and they both plunged into a dark shaft, illumined only by the
occasional underground rooms they passed. "Oh dear, I shall be too late,"
moaned the somewhat ball-shaped monster, as it checked a large pocket watch
which was of course digital. Alice--Oops! Sorry--Noriko considered grabbing
a jar from a passing shelf, but thought that would be unfair to the person who
owned it.
"Oh dear, I wish I hadn't voted Libertarian in that last election," she
sighed. "I seem to remember them saying something about repealing the law of
Gravity, since the forces of nature shouldn't interfere with our private lives.
I wonder if it will be at all painful when I land?"
She didn't have long to wait...
But the dreamt impact woke her up (again).
Suddenly, THUMP! she came down on a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the
fall was over, just in time for winter.
Noriko was now in a long hallway, lit by a row of lamps hanging from the
ceiling. There were doors all around, but they were locked; after trying them
all Noriko wondered sadly just how"SP+ was going to get out.
Then an idea came into her pretty little head: The marshmallow! Chewing it
up thoroughly, then extracting it (which made the audience, unknown to the
girl, grimace as one), she shaped it into a key and waited for it to harden.
Hours later, it did. (Noriko amused herself by solving multivariable
integrations all the while.) She then went around and tried the key in all of
the doorlocks, only to find that they still would not open.
"It's all Reagan's fault," she sniffled as she sat down on the huge, orange
sign reading "THIS WAY TO EXIT" pointing down to a partially open hatchway.
MEANWHILE , IN THE EYE OF ORION, THE DOCTOR HAD JUST FINISHED EPAIRING THE
TARDIS. HIS COMPANION TEGAN JOVANKA LOOKE SKEPTICAL. AND FOR GOOD REASON -
THERE WAS A TERRIBLE HISSING SOUND AND THE TARDIS EXPLODED.
A spider walked up to Noriko and asked for her name.
She thought for a bit and said, "Call me Joanna. My parents did." She had
always led convincingly.
"Well, Joanna," said the spider,"Why are you looking so gloomy? The sun is
up, the sky is blue.... It's beautiful, and so are you. Is something wrong?
You look ever so sad."
"There's this pest who just won't leave me alone."
"Lead me to him! I eat pests. It's a hobby."
Joanna smiled. "Thou'rt him. Go away."
Naturally the spider's mind, tiny as it was, couldn't even take this little
paradox and exploded. After Joanna cleaned the spider goop off of her clothes,
she decided that she'd amused the audience enough and tromped down the
hatchway. Suddenly:
FROM AC666: J.R. "Bob" Dobbs is entering chat channel 13
"My goodness, what ARE those annoying messages that pop by every so often?"
the girl wondered. Such thoughts ran like roaches exposed to light, though,
wwhen she found (actually almost tripped over) a shiny brass lantern sitting on
the top step. She took it as the way down seemed dark indeed, and at the bottom
of the staircase saw a shiny sword embedded in rock.
Imagining all sorts of things, mostly centering around the E.B. White story
of the same name, she tried to extract the sword in the stone. But it was to no
avail. The only thing she got was tired.
From/S202 AC999.DATANET1/: Mr. Ronald Reagan is entering chat channel 84.
"Pushy, pushy," Joanna thought. "Well, I guess I'll chat with him."
She stopped reading the story, and entered channel 84. "Hi, RR."
"Hi, Joanna. Is that your real name? What computer are you using?"
"That's really none of your business, Mr. Reagan. Oh, and by the way, are
you for or against gun control?"
"Well, I think every person in America should have guns." he said.
"I'm glad you said that." She picked up a colt-45 and put five bullets into
his brain.
AS ALL OF THIS WAS ON NATIONAL TV, EVERYONE SAW IT. THE ENTIRE COUNTRY HAD
A 100 YEAR CELEBRATION. WHEN IT WAS OVER THE DOCTOR, PRESIDENT OF THE TIMELORD
COUNCIL(NEWLY APPOINTED) WAS ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE UNIVERSE AND LEELA OF THE
SEVATEEM WAS VICE-PRESIDENT AND K9 WAS MINISTER OF DEFENSE. [Oh my God- The
new Doctor Who board has invaded the novel!!!]
"Whew, thank goodness this was just another of those stupid dreams," Akemi
noted as she woke up. "Some of it all in caps, too. It's all Reagan's fault,"
she continued.
Replacing her broom-handled Mauser in its fine-grain buffalo hide sheath
(and snickering at the thought of a mere Colt) she mused for a while on the
saying by Robert Heinlein, "An armed society is a polite society", then went in
search of a way out. Hopefully she would not fall victim to hallucinations
sent by supporters of the losing side ever again.
"Whew. thank goodness this was just another of those stupid dreams," Akemi
noted as she woke up. "Some of it all in caps, too. It's all Reagan's fault,"
she continued.
Replacing her broom-handled Mauser in its fine-grain buffalo hide sheath
(and snickering at the thought of a mere Colt) she mused for a while on the
saying by Robert Heinlein, "An armed society is a polite society", then went in
search of a way out. Hopefully she would not fall victim to hallucinations
sent by supporters of the losing side ever again.
She turned a corner to find the other group having wild and passionate sex,
so she turned into another corridor. She gaped in awe at the sight of five
20 megaton bombs, just sitting there,
ticking away.
"Hmmmm....." she said. "I think this novel is at an end."
"A second later, her atoms were flying across the planet in every
direction."
"Oh no, not again," said one of the atoms to the other.
"Yup," said the other atom, "And this time it wasn't Reagan's fault,
'cause he went up with the first wave."
"I know," said the first atom, "Hey - those stupid Mondale/Ferraro
campaign posters are still all over. Even nukes can't get rid of the
damn things. And they were supposed to be such great enviromnentalists!"
"Uh, oh - looks like we're gonna coalesce into something again. At
least we still get to stay together."
"Yup - talk to ya later>"
As the atoms (and many, many more) begin to come together again, a shape
starts to become fuller with each passing moment. After several hours,
the process is complete.
The Earth, tired and weary, looked up. This is ridiculous, he thought. "
These overgrown apes are sending me to peices. Enough is enough." The Earth
held it's breath for a second, then exploded in a huge fireball. The moon,
seeing what the Earth was going to do, left orbit and took cover behind the
planet Venus.
"Venuse
"Yes?" came a deep voice.
"It's all Reagan's fault." said the moon sadly.
"Yes I know." Venus started to cry over it's lost sister , then exploded
itself.
THE END
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
new novel -- "
Something's alive -- in the closet
by users- DATANET 3000
It was a dark and stormy night.
Lightning an thunder were scaring the ltlle child to death. Her name was Susie a
nd she was only 5. Then, she heard it. There was a rattling in her closet, she s
screamed! From downstairs came the weary voice of her father,"Susie, be quiet! i
It is only a storm."
Susie tried to keep quiet but she was very scared. she heard the rattling again.
Then, the door slowly opened. A man with a suit riding a horse came out.
He said,"Hi I'm Ron Reagan. What'S your name?"
"I am not allowed to talk to strange men on horses," she said. "Daddy!" she
called. "The President's in my closet again."
Her father hurried upstairs. "So you finally came out of the closet, Ron?"
"Yes," Reagan admitted. "I am a homosexual and proud of it."
"And if a man lie with mankind, as with womankind, both of them have
commited abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be
upon them. Leviticus 20, verse 13," said Susie before killing Reagan.
"You bathtards!"" screamed Walter Mondale, running out of the bathroom with
whipped cream all over his private parts. "You killed Ronnie!"
With a terrible scream, Fritz jumped out the second floor bay window,
splattering his body on the driveway.
"Shit - he still has all those silly campaign posters all over the place,
and now he goes and messes up the drive!", moaned Susie. "And that Ferarro
woman is in Gimbels on a buying spree 'cause she isn't vice president."
Susie's mother Jeanne, arriving home in her Buick Regal from a fairly late
Suburban Housewives meeting, flashed on her high beams as she rolled into the
drive, brightly illuminating the pile of gore and whipped cream that smeared the
pavement. Bringing the car to a sudden halt, she stepped out and observed the
mess. She noted the broken window, pursed her lips disapprovingly, and
poked at the decimated corpse with one beige mid-heel spectator pump.
Suddenly the world was full of ..........
ASPARAGUS!!!!!!!
----------------
Imagine, a world full of that great vegtable !!!!!
[Yes! And imagine the heroines of this novel all doing squat jumps in
a field full of that great vegetable ...]
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
New on-line novel:
"It's All Reagan's
Fault"
by: the Data-Net 3000 Users
Suddenly, all the stars from the previous two stories got together in one
room. It was a large room, full of people... all kinds. And they had all
arrived at the same building at more or less the same time. And they were all
free. And they were all asking themselves the same question: "What... is
behind... that curtain?"
"Hey," Carl noted, Why is politics like broken hearts?"
"Why?" asked all of Marianne's various pseudonyms, in perfect harmony.
"Because both are for assholes!" continued the young man, cleverly alluding
to the Frank Zappa song. As a unit, everyone in the room brought out their
weapons and killed him.
"Seriously, though," continued the strong female lead, "the ninnies and
twits have ruined the proceedings in this section. Some people can't relax for
a second... once their tiny little brains latch onto a thought, they don't let
go. The thought dies of lonliness and they log on here, putting junk into a
collaberation which was previously reasonably amusing and spoiling the fun for
the real users."
"What's the solution, Noriko?" asked Susie's father, who had always liked
that name the best.
She shook her head. "Within the current system, there IS none. You'll get
morons wherever you are. It would take a rewrite of the whole Blabb program
to do anything. As an example, if every statement left could be attributed
to someone we could at least find out who the creeps are, and take action that
way. But for that, something as drastic as putting the user number before the
text, kind of like a sub-title, would have to be written in."
"Gasp!" the crowd gasped.
"Or," she continued, swinging a booted heel over the corpse of her late
friend and walking to a nearby chair, "there could be addition by invitation
only. The best writers (or, at least, the ones with brains enough to stick to
a subject instead of petty ranting) would be allowed to add lines, while all
the other users could read their work. New authors could be admitted on a trial
basis; if ty didn't obey the few
rules for blabnovels, they could be easily dismissed."
"But... that would mean having the program look up names in a list!"
wailed a little girl that no one remembered. "Do you think the Data-Net sysops
are up to it?"
"I don't know that, either," Sheryl admitted. "I guess we'll just have to
wait and see."
"It's all Reagan's fault," burbled the not-quite-dead body of Carl, so they
all shot him again.
*** THE END ***
The man holding up the "*** THE END ***" sign was shot, and crumpled to the
floor.
"Sheesh!" said Marlene, changing her name once again. "You're right in the
middle of a novel and some complete jerk off walks in and tries to end it.
What nerve!"
Just then a small nuclear warhead in diapers crawled onto the stage. He
looked up at June (who one again changed her name) and smiled. "Goo goo" it
said.
Janet bent down and looked at it. "Hmmm.. 20 megatons. Well, I guess it's
all Ronald Raygun's fault." she shrugged.
Bill picked up the baby nuke and belched it. He then took a screwdirver and
ended it's life.
"Bill! It's still ticking! Do you know what that means?"
"Yes. It mean we have 3 seconds to live. After that, the Datatek computer
is going to explode in the firestorm of a 20,000,000 tons of tnt explosion."
"Wait a minute!" said the Datatek computer. "You suckers ain't
blowing me to kingdom cum!"
"That's come, not cum" piped in Jeaine.
"Whatever. You ain't doing it. With that he beeped and exploded."
BBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!
THE DATATEK COMPUTER IS NO MORE! AND THE SAME FOR THIS STORY!!!
END OF SUBSYSTEM
CPU=3;CONNECT=5;BOOM!!!!!
Meanwhile, Julie (changing her name again)'s atoms were being mixed with
the remains of the earth (who exploded too) ..
"My -- what a mess -- talk about a traffic jam!" said Atom #1.
"Well," said a hunk of an atom, sneaking up behind the first atom," it's good
to be a group. Talk about a gang bang!"
"Hmmmm.." said atom #1 seductively," you are a pretty one. Want to go to
my place and form some ionic bonds?"
"Ahhh.. now you've got my electons excites. Let's go" and as the two atoms
went to go have ionic sex, the rest of the universe started to collapse. ALl
the atoms crammed into one huge globe, destroying everything. For a few bill-
ion years, they stayed there in a huge glowing ball, untill the pressure caused
a large explosion which sent them all across the universe. Another uni- verse
was created.
"Oh no, not again," said atom #1, lying back, lighting up a ciggarette.
"YEP, BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD" SAID ATOM #2
"YOU KNOW ATOM#1 I THINK WE SHOULD GET RID OF THIS IDIOTIC RIDICULOUS STORY T
IN the BRAND new UNIVERSE there FORMED a LITTLE girl NAMED goldilocks,
BUT she USUALLY used THE pseudonym ANTHONY perkins.