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                        A Sysop's Peeves
                        ----------------

     It takes a special kind of crazy to make an otherwise 
normal-looking human being choose to operate a bulletin board 
system... very often (s)he's placing valuable equipment at the 
mercy of others, and spending valuable time, and not really 
minding a bit. A little acknowledgement, the occasional "thank 
you", and periodic uploads of fresh public domain software seem 
to keep these types happy. However (you knew there had to be a 
however to this, after reading the title, didn't you?), there are 
a few things that can... shall we say...  b o t h e r  a system 
operator.

     The bothersome users of a bulletin board fall into some 
broad classes, which are not necessarily mutually exclusive nor 
all that well-defined. Some are truly obnoxious, while others can 
get the Sysop upset with a third party, the world in general, or 
with... ummm... the Sysop.

     Let us introduce the first, and most obnoxious, of those 
users capable of having an effect on an operator's blood 
pressure. We'll call him the "Owner", because that's how the 
creature behaves... like he owns the BBS (not likely to endear 
himself to the sap who pays the bills, no?). There are a broad 
range of symptoms displayed by an Owner. First of all, there is 
generally no respect given to all the other users of the system: 
he'll log on at 7 P.M. and stay there downloading files until the 
system (or operator) hangs up on him. At other times he'll call 
for a chat with the Sysop: if the Sysop's not there, he'll leave 
a nasty message complaining about the Sysop's inattentiveness. If 
the Sysop is there, he'll go on at lengths (typing slowly) asking 
why the files HE wants aren't always there, and why the BBS isn't 
tailored to HIS interests and needs. The only thing good about 
this creature is that he will either (1) get bored and suck some 
other Sysop's BBS dry, or (2) get the message that he's being a 
pig.

     Next in our BBS zoo we have the Bull. Owners tend to be 
Bulls, too. A Bull behaves like he's in a china shop, crashing 
about, spending tremendous amounts of time discovering the 
variety of error messages the BBS keeps on file. Now, this sort 
of behaviour is not really frustrating to a Sysop... unless he's 
waiting to use the BBS himself. What REALLY gets the Sysop is 
that a full-scale Bull will refuse to admit that it might be 
faster to read the Help files, and if he does have a question, 
he'll pose it to the Sysop himself. This Sysop has a standard 
response: silence. Any question adequately answered in the Help 
files does not need further attention. Fortunately for Sysops, 
most Bulls are self-curing. They will either discover the Help 
files or puzzle out the BBS structure by trial and error... and 
error... and error...

     Then there's the Apologist, who gets the Sysop mad at 
himself. What happens is the Sysop will complain publicly about 
some Owner or Bull on the system, and the Apologist will then 
leave a message saying he's sorry for spending so much time 
downloading a file, or that he tried various commands before 
going for Help. Why is the Sysop mad? Because a valued user has 
felt badly about the Sysop's complaints, while the REAL object of 
the whole mess never read the rotten complaint anyway!

     Last, and probably Least, is the classic Twit. Twits are 
usually lacking in most of the social graces. A Twit usually is 
unable to spell nor comprehend "courtesy". He'll go right past 
the Sysop's request not to post messages offering to pirate 
software, and then post a message offering to pirate software. 
Requests for clean language are met with profanity, and when the 
offending messages are wiped from the BBS, the Twit will be 
absolutely outraged. Twits tend to run in groups, and will 
descend on a BBS like a horde of locusts. Twits either grow up 
(mentally: a low physical age is not a prerequisite for one to be 
a Twit) or discover a BBS operated by a fellow Twit who tolerates 
them. The "cracker" (what the press erroneously terms a 
"hacker"), who delights in trying to crash remote systems to 
cause maximum discomfort and damage, is a true Twit.

     Thank goodness there is the Decent User. This is the person 
who will upload files someone's looking for, read the messages 
and pipe up if he's got something to say, and will feel a twinge 
of guilt (needlessly) when he downloads that neat-looking big 
file or can't find anything half-decent to contribute. They may 
not be thanked, but they're the ones responsible for the 
continued operation of a BBS.

                         - Bob Maxwell,
                           Sysop (no foolin', huh?), Turbo BBS,
                           Vancouver, B.C.  (604) 738-7811
                           July 21, 1986





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