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⬅️ Previous capture (2022-04-28)
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2022-04-19
It's been a rough go these past few weeks, mainly coping with the stress of learning what happened with my nanny (an explaination can be found https://wastelandimperiatrix.dreamwidth.org/2161.html here, in case you're wondering, tw: medical) I ended up going to my hometown again for the first time in years, which inadvertanly led to me reconciling with my mother. It's been a LOT to cope with.
My little sister is visiting for the holidays, which is super nice because I haven't seen her in almost 3 years now. She's growing up and holy fuck I have no idea how to cope with *that*. I'm super proud of her though, she's becoming a full fledged person and it's incredible to see.
Another thing, I recently switched my laptop from windows to linux, so that's why I haven't been around in gemspace as much lately - trying to wrestle with getting everything back. It's been incredible though, I love linux and this whole experience has been wonderful. I don't think I could ever go back to windows after this. For those wondering, this is my first time using linux, and I decided to go with Kubuntu as my first distro. It's very easy to get the hang of, and I love how customizable it is. I can even do my gaming on it, which is fantastic because I was really worried I wouldn't be able to access ffxiv on linux (I CAN, and its GREAT).
I need a break though, with everything going on I feel pretty frayed at the seams (when am I not though, lets be real here). Self care is becoming more and more important each day that passes, and considering I may have double dosed my sleepy meds last night without even realizing it, it's even more important (I have a pill sorter now though, and I'm lucky my sleepy meds aren't that intense - they'll just have the paradoxical effect of giving me nightmares again, instead of removing them like they're supposed to)
Today is the last day my sister is gonna be visiting. I'm sad to see her go, but now that I know I have an easy route to visit my hometown without needing a license and a car, I'll be able to spend a lot more time with her and my other siblings a lot more now. It's relieving to be honest, I always wonder if I'm enough of a big sib for them, if I'm doing enough - being enough, to support them and care for them, you know, Eldest Daughter:tm: feelings.
That's all for now,
- Aelphaba