💾 Archived View for ori.clifford.lol › library › malus.bliz captured on 2023-11-04 at 11:10:02. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The Malus

I had recently sent my form to apply for a new driver's licence in my new name. It maybe didn't seem like that much of an achievement, but after all the uncertainties and the lack of support from people who were meant to be close to me, it definitely felt like a major success. So there I was, having committed to a name, looking over over the University Information Services Website to find out how I could implement the change here as well.

Navigating the blueish pages (they say blue inspires community, I say it inspires blandness) I finally land upon the field with my dead name. I gaze at it, and it almost seems to gaze back, crying out, hoping my murderous intent can falter. But it doesn't, it won't, I close my eyes to take a deep breath and when I open them, the screen in front of me is gone.

Instead, I look down to see a endless grid of glass cubes, perfectly aligned, flush with each other. It's dark here, foggy and I can see the bright blue of the webpage flicker along the edges of the grid, like electricity coursing through a motherboard. I descend slowly, and the contents of the cubes come into focus... each one holds the upper half of a body lying down, eyes closed. Some look perfectly healthy, some have bruises and in very few of the boxes, spikes protrude from the floor, impaling the lifeless body within.

It wasn't until I saw my face in one of the boxes that I realised I had been floating, not bound to a physical form, free to explore. And yet, I was drawn to this coffin... no, these weren't coffins, the people in here were alive, mostly. I close my eyes again, pushing towards my body and when I open them, I can see the glass walls above me, around me, I feel the chill flat surface below me, unmovable, unbreakable.

The glass around me is so opaque, I barely notice when the man to my left wakes up in a state of panic, with a large gasp for air. He tries to push against the glass ceiling, but nothing can be done, we are safe here. There is no need to escape. The voices tell me I'm right where I'm meant to be. The voices tell me I will be exactly who I'm meant to be. The voices tell me the Malus can help me. And I know it in my soul it is true, the Malus can help me.

The floor below me swings open and I fall. Not jarringly, I float down into the abyss, into the fog, slowly sinking deeper. Out of the corner of my eye, I see bright clouds in shades of blue and green ripple through the darkness. And briefly, within them, I can make out the shape of the Malus, a great whale, slow, majestic, omniscient, omnipotent.

[38;5;158m"You cannot breathe."[0m

I cannot breathe, my body is whole, but my chest is tight.

[38;5;153m"You will be reborn."[0m

I will be reborn, my body is that of an infant.

[38;5;141m"The Malus knows who you are."[0m

The Malus knows everything, my life belongs to them.

I am back in the glass cell. My hands reach up to my chest, it is flat. I smile. The glass above me is now displaying a message in bright blue:

[38;5;14mGender and name have been updated. Thanks for using our services, your new name is[0m
[38;5;14m                               Rough Radish[0m