💾 Archived View for tilde.pink › ~soup › 230116_feeling.gmi captured on 2023-09-28 at 16:18:10. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content

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feeling

sometimes i feel an overwhelming wave of emotion that is not tied to any particular thing it feels like, but it makes it hard to do anything. it's like a ball of desperation and anxiety all rolled into one and i just feel exasperated, incapable of doing anything except sitting there dumbly staring at my screen waiting for the day to end and the next one to begin.

coffee just makes it worse.

in those moments i hate how quickly the sun sets this far north. winter feels sick and i even want to run away from my job. i feel unclean: my face is too oily, my hands are too dry, it's been too long since i shaved (a couple days?). a shower maybe helps, i don't know. meditation maybe, if i had the patience for it? masturbating?

how i wish i could feel like i have everything together.

january 16, 2023