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by Flah, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-426. Licensed under CC-BY-SA.
Item #: SCP-426
Object Class: Euclid
I am to be sealed in a chamber with no windows through which I may be viewed. The door to my chamber must have a label completely unrelated to my designation or identity, in order to prevent unintended spread of my primary effect. Only Level 3 and above personnel are to know of my presence, and particularly of my properties. Assigned personnel are to be rotated out on a monthly basis to prevent contamination by my secondary effect. Psychiatric evaluation is mandatory at the end of the month. If personnel are deemed unaffected, they may be re-assigned to me no less than four months after their last rotation with me. Any affected personnel are to be given a Class C amnestic and transferred to a different site.
Hello, I am SCP-426. I must be introduced this way in order to prevent ambiguity. I am an ordinary toaster, able to toast bread when supplied with electricity. However, when any human being mentions me, they inadvertently refer to me in the first person. Despite all attempts, there is yet to be a way to speak or write about me in the third person. When in my continuous presence for over two months, individuals begin to identify themselves as a toaster. Unless forcibly restrained, these people will ultimately harm themselves in their attempts to emulate my standard functions.
I was discovered in the home of the ββββββββ family after the gruesome deaths of three of its members. I had been given to the younger Mr. and Mrs. ββββββββ as a wedding gift. No card or any other identifying markings had been found on my box. Approximately two months after the family received me, fire crews were dispatched to the home due to an electrical fire. The younger Mrs. ββββββββ died from the electric discharge that she had caused when attempting to devour an electric socket. The other two victims had died shortly before the fire occurred. The elder Mrs. ββββββββ had gorged herself with nearly 10 kg of bread before her stomach burst and she died of internal bleeding. The younger Mr. ββββββββ died of severe blood loss after attempting [REDACTED] with me. The sole survivor was the elder Mr. ββββββββ who was suffering from severe malnutrition. He stated that he had inserted some bread a week prior and was still waiting for the toast to pop out.
I was confiscated by the Foundation after police noted my unusual properties. A Class C amnestic was administered to the affected officers.
Date: ββ-ββ-ββββ
Subject: D-class personnel D/426/1
Procedure: D/426/1 was asked to describe what he believed was contained in my chamber. He was not informed about my identity or properties.
Details: D/426/1 stated, βIβm probably some huge monster holed up in there. Thatβs what you guys have all over the place, right?β D/426/1 remained oblivious to his use of the first-person pronoun.
Date: ββ-ββ-ββββ
Subject: D-class personnel D/426/2
Procedure: D/426/2 was placed in my chamber and given regular meals through a dispenser. No communication with D/426/2 was permitted. Multiple cameras were situated in the chamber, positioned so that I was outside of their field of vision, but allowing constant observation of D/426/2. We remained sealed until my secondary effect manifested in the subject. I was bolted to the floor so that I could not be moved into a cameraβs view.
Details: After 45 days of isolation, D/426/2 wrapped his arm around me and began conversing with me, stating that we were brothers. D/426/2 never deviated from using the first-person plural when speaking with me. Subject was terminated one hour after this event. It is theorized that the isolation accelerated the progression of my secondary effect.
Date: ββ-ββ-ββββ
Subject: D-class personnel D/426/3
Procedure: A screw was removed from me and shown to D/426/3 who was asked to describe it. D/426/3 was not informed about my identity or properties.
Details: D/426/3 referred to it as βmy screwβ. Consistent with Experiment 426-1, the subject was oblivious of his use of the first person in his description. This suggests that, even if I were destroyed, my effects would still be inherent in my remains.
Date: ββ-ββ-ββββ
Subject: D-class personnel D/426/4
Procedure: D/426/4 was placed in isolation in a cell adjacent to my chamber, to be observed until my secondary effect manifests.
Details: No effects appeared. D/426/4 was terminated 90 days after the start of the experiment.
Thank God there are some limits to my effects. A lot of us were really starting to get worried about me. - Dr. Cβββββββ