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The world is shit, it's also a wonderful mess of things that i never experienced, that i never will experience or that i will experience one day. Endless possibilities, i care not about the things i have already lost, because i will lose them again... and again... and again.
Time is a wheel, it keeps spinning and spinning. I've never once enjoyed the touch of snow, or a snowfight, or brotherly things; My brother was born before me, 14 years before me, and thanks to that he never had the age to actually enjoy things with me... I hated that, i cried as a kid because he didn't put me in the car and let me go with him back to his house, he let me stay with mom, i was abandoned, i felt abandoned. It was a child's desperate plea that called back to the time that my mother left me behind with my dad, alone, so that she could teach, she could work. My mother wasn't stable mentally as i was growing up, she threw plates at a wall, screamed and shouted and barrated and punched my brother and my father... With me? She left. She left home so many times after she got back with my father. I'm a fool that was hurt continuously by family, friends, enemies, lovers... It hurts a lot.
That's why i created Dreams Lost, or will create, it'll depend of when you read this, It's a story about me being abandoned again and again and losing everything again and again in every single way possible. It's supposed to be short, but i'll ramble i always do. Nobody cares, nobody will read this most likely, it's just part of Destiny at Play, my trauma dumping universe of ideas and experiences. Maybe one day i'll write about something happy.
Written by: Fleur, the host of the Code System.