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it's time, i think
i'm brine-pool-esque
with coral
and you have cords
with fuzz
and radio waves
basically get everywhere
let's imagine a cool deep blue sky
and a red-orange tangle of rock
and water
and a brine pool
you found me there and
took a photo with your good phone camera
but i have cords with fuzz
and fuzz makes pictures get jumbly
and fuzz will take you out of
the suspension of disbelief
that's hard, i think
to know the time
but it's time
the thing this brine pool knows
the only thing
is it's time
i think
the fellas and i have been going out
drinking and fucking each other
sometimes i can't tell the fellas apart
and sometimes each fella is so specific
it's a miracle we all get together like we do
but we do
the fellas and i are ordering another round
we all drink the same thing and
take our sips at the same time
and backwash the same amount of spit into the bottle
and point our fingers into the air when our beers are empty
and say "another round, please!"
slowly and mechanically to make sure we all
say it at the same time
and we fuck each other equally
affirmatively
we do it in a really positive way
and i respect that about the fellas
there's handshaking when we fuck
and you don't get that just anywhere
before i met the fellas
i underestimated that
you know, the value
of a good handshake while fucking
the fellas and i have a really good thing going on
and this weekend the fellas and i are going to the state fair
we're all going to get in because
we've all got tickets
--
four hundred and fifty nine
solid gold
17th century
american coins
right there in my little backyard
bought the space shuttle on ebay
had to pay extra for shipping
they delivered it in a big box
it came in two pieces
the front and the back
i had to put em together with a drill
field trip
to caseys general store
the first time in my life
i bought super unleaded
two quarters for the vacuum
jesus christ the astronauts
left a giant mess in here
three different kinds
of dorito crumbs
burning down my house
in the blastoff
bringing all my science experiments
so i can do science up there
wow
the ground is so funny
when it's small
crashing into the moon
getting out
lighting a cigarette
feeling a little self-pity
for the fun of it
hope down there
they're charting down
the little tip glow
as space's newest star
--
i bought a lighter so i could light your cigarettes.
i did training
so i could forget what stop signs look like.
neither of us gets pissed
when we learn the tag is sticking out of our t-shirt.
it just rained for four days.
the ground smells like the middle ages.
one more.
then i’ve got to go work on my drawing.
and to want to do it
and to do it without walls in your heart
to do it without irony, disdain or self-protective scorn or spite
and without a sneer
to do it because you have to
without taking pleasure in it
but in gratitute
measured and matter of fact but with feeling
with grace
and incomprehensible pain
animal pain
animal pain like the fear of darkness
hideaway pain
the pain felt by early mammals
the dream of gnashing teeth
the circular shadow of the new moon
looking and not seeing
to do it without knowing
the canine toothy fear with barking
some strange smell of memory
to do it with all memories
and no foresight
to do it consciously
dedicatedly
continuously
until it's done
unflinchingly
until it's done
without guidance but guidedly
guilelessly
uncharismatically
and lovingly
warmly
even with scarring
warmly like fire
distant fire
exoplanetary fire like sirrus
dog star empathy like sirrus
the imcomprehensible pain and potence
of getting it done with a clean break
and then knowing someday
warmly
it will all happen again
in turn every muscle speaks its mind
and every tumble takes to turning tricky time
and every feature of every face morphs to mine
and every sick little mammal forgets why
and every miniature train goes to the big robot in the sky
and every dream ends with some going BAAAAA!
and every stick reattaches to the tree if you put it there right
and every facet of science will be disproven in favor of fate
and every red fire will meet us again on that night
and every word in the world will translate one day to “it’s too late”
the night beyond nature beyond death
and every human will reincarnate
and every human will march down that long hallway to the endless job
and park in unassigned spaces
gazing over at the globs parking in the assigned spaces
with longing
so much longing
so much so much so much longing
ooh ahh ooh fuck fuck
FUCK me to have a space assigned
a place that’s mine
would it fix me?
we all start to believe it would
i dream of the one with the assigned space
working within the system
tinkering and spying and blathering
so that one day everyone might be assigned a space of their own
and everyone might be given a plot of their own
we can grow carrots, strawberries, and cabbage
cucumbers, squash, tomatoes, green beans
and spices too
ive got a gizmo that can burn a hole through a wall
it’s got a little laser
im going to wait for the right time
for the word
the planet held together by that rattling web
the rattling web of grem
theyre gonna give me the signal
im gonna burn a hole in the door and theyre gonna take
scissors and clippers tree trimmers
knives of switch and swiss
sharpened teeth claws and dismembered sabertooth paws
feasting on the web with gnashing and chewing and hungry
tearing it limb after limb
burning the world into chaos
here comes the red fire again
to meet us again
evil stopped at a crosswalk
here we are free painting over every line
and learning how good it feels to wear coats in winter
and nothing when it’s hot