💾 Archived View for envs.net › ~luber › things › diary › august-2023.gmi captured on 2023-09-08 at 16:45:28. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
my brain keeps fogging up and sometimes i wonder if im dreaming. have to keep pinching myself just to make sure.
went to a record store today, bought 2 new albums, space is only noise by nicolas jaas and sky valley by kyuss. it was great!
still doing nothing, brain is foggier than ever. sitting in front of a screen for hours probably doesnt help that. ill try going on a walk soon..
listening to a lot of nicolas jaar as well as the two recent gerogerigegege albums - good shit. 2nd song from moenai hai is unreal
hope you're doing alright. im away visiting my family. listening to xiu xiu... i feel a little tired, and i dont really know what to do with myself all day. i feel guilty. oh well.
relapsed, drinking even though i shouldnt, feel like shit. actually have things to do, the problem is that its too much and i have no idea where to start. and time runs on, and i know itll all come crashing down on me far sooner than i expect it to. and ill be endlessly blaming my past self for their mistakes and et cetera..
divorce lawyers i shaved my head makes me feel a little less horrible about feeling horrible about my body
love gerogerigegege
having dreams about suicide.. its been a while since ive had any coherent ones that dont include depressive themes, or hospitals. responsibilities are piling up more and more and i dont really know how to deal with them. despite everything, im doing quite well, although im not moving much further past just a basic feeling of contentment, and its quite frustrating.
listening to a lot of noise and screamo. dont know why but its the only music that does the trick for me right now. oh and hypnotic ambient and dungeon synth.. especially the stuff from the voldsom label.
had a dream tonight that i had to wash my hands but i didnt have any soap. i wonder what that means. in the end of the dream i killed myself.
not much happening - been kind of out of it emotionally. doing alright