💾 Archived View for tilde.cafe › ~stack › gemlog › 2022-05-22.aging.gmi captured on 2023-07-22 at 17:26:08. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
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Getting old is a bitch. I have three ageing parents/in-laws over 80 (one fully independent, one pretty much functional, one with dementia). Can technology help them stay in touch with the world, or make their lives easier? I do not want to be ageist (and no spring chicken myself), but in my experience, technology is completely incompatible with the older crowd.
I am talking about the pre-internet generation. A 90+ -year-old today was brought up in the age of horse carriages. The boomers of today will probably have an easier time, but some physical limitations will still make it hard.
They say you can teach an orangutan to use a tablet, but I have not been very successful with people over 75.
After all, this is the golden age of television of sorts. What is it about technology that makes it impossible for older people to adopt?
I can see a few common threads:
Older people (forgive the generalization) seem to want a button that does one thing. That is no longer happening. I own several TVs, and with the exception of the power button and maybe volume, remote buttons do not have specific meanings, but more abstract - previous/next, select, meta/settings, etc.
The litle remotes for everything - air conditioners, lightbulbs (not networked), butt-washing bidets, not to mention TVs, have tiny buttons. We constantly have to intervene in activities too stupid to mention. What happened to big power switches?
Buttons on the remotes are meant to navigate menus, something that is completely alien to the 80+ -year-olds. But it is much worse. Each streaming service has its own, generally idiotically inconsistent, menu system.It is often impossible to tell where you are (selection indicator may be a rectangle frame, underline, or overline). Sometimes, hitting the select key pops up a timeline menu requiring a second hit to pause; other services pause immediately. It is very easy to get lost if you don't get it (pressing the up key may take you to X-ray of actor credits, or a language selection menu).
Nothing is where you left it. Trying to find the 'continue watching' category is a challenge for me, and a total impossibility for the olds.
Equipment is meant to turn on in a clean state. The idea that settings are stored is alien, and 'the cloud' is just inconceivable. To be honest, I am pissed off with the 'cloud' myself - why not just say your stuff is stored on some corporate computer.
This is a never-ending problem with those who manage to scrape their way into using technology at some level (two out of three of my old folks). Why can't I get my email? You are signing in with your Wi-Fi password. What? What's Wi-Fi? Is that google? I have my google password. No, your email is at yahoo. But it worked yesterday! No it didn't, your yahoo password was cached. What? I never sent yahoo any cash... Where did you put my wallet? No, never mind, just let me help you.
Older equipment (my 90+ mother-in-law refers to the TV as her 'set') came with instructions. Not QR codes, youtube links or tiny folded-over pieces of paper with 6-point chinglish nonsense. The older folks in our household are sitting on many tech presents - cameras, readers, tablets, phones, amplified TV headphones, computers and more), waiting to 'learn to use them'. I found an ancient, never-used tablet carefully wrapped in a nice linen cloth in a drawer recently.
They are waiting to somehow 'learn to use' these devices, and we cannot pursuade them to poke them and see what happens. When showing how to use these, the old folks take out pens and notebooks and take copious and completely useless notes - press second thing in the middle of the screen, then the green one. Needless to say that does not work as soon as another app is installed, or an update changes the icon, or if the tablet is turned sideways.
There is an idea that somehow, you get to 'understand' this through learning, by 'studying'. We got a new cordless phone to replace an almost-the-same old one, and the 'tech-savvy' 8*-year-old (who can rant on facebook) spent a week studying the instructions, asking a lot of questions about pairing bluetooth devices or syncing contact lists, even though we will never use these features. Just use it as a phone, damn it! Worked out after a few weeks of pressing an unfortunately-placed wrong button. Whew. One 'success story'.
Visual acuity is a young person's game. Having a 500dpi 5-inch screen is fun when you are young, but impossible for an 80+ person with macular degeneration. You can barely see the device, never mind the fine print. A large TV is much better, but even if navigation made sense, it is often hard to see _what_ is selected.
Remote control buttons are invisible to visually impaired. Even I have to put on reading glasses to see the remote button legends; then I have to remove them to look at the TV. It is really annoying.
If you have a tremor, forget it. You will just need someone to push buttons for you.
Voice devices are not useful to the hearing-impaired, who often learn to read lips, subconsciously, and use other cues to parse barely-heard sounds.
My partner and I thought Alexa would empower the older folks (I was somewhat skeptical and hate the idea of devices designed to spy, but...). It turned out to be largely useless. First of all, you need to remember the name that wakes up the device - not easy for a sundowner who can't remember the grandkids' names. Then you need to follow very specific rules: "Alexa, light 3 thirty percent". Again, pretty much impossible for some people here. We get to hear every variation on the theme, repeated for half an hour until we intervene.
Alexa also intermittently fails to do as instructed - it stops recognizing devices once a month or so, for no explainable reason. "All lights off" results in a "Device Samsung-HDXZ45839 is not configured, please use the Alexa app to set up new devices". Sometimes, for no reason at all everything is fine half an hour later, except for the residual mistrust of technology. Other times, there is a lot of climbing under tables replugging lamps while a mentally unstable person is shouting in dismay to leave them alone and turn off the damned light.
And some days, even the idea of some weird thing that talks to you is meaningless. Alexa can be really scary for people with dementia: what is that disembodied voice? Am I dead? Can other people hear it?
The idea of, say, hearing any music you want anytime, did not go so well. We have to listen to the same thing over and over, at an incredibly high volume (hearing problems... No, I have no hearing problems, you are just mumbling!). Luckily, that was forgotten quickly.
Hearing loss is expected as you age (start learning sign language now!). When combined with mental issues this turns bad very fast: speak up, you are mumbling! Stop shouting at me!
Hearing aids in the US come in two forms, both a scam. The first is dollar-store amplifiers with tiny switches, chargers and wiring impossible for old folks to figure out, and installation instructions in 4-point type (and generally gibberish). Oh, and these cost around $100, which is just a total ripoff.
Then there are the real ones, reserved for those with good insurance and no mental problems, and good mobility as you have to go to the audiologist for an adjustment every few weeks. These cost on the order of $10,000, plus medical bills, so like I said, good insurance is required. If all you have is medicaid, you are eligible for one cheap hearing aid, probably with batteries that you can't replace yourself because you can't see that well and have arthritic hands.
If you let it go too long, your brain will become incapable of understanding sounds, and hearing aids won't work.
Also, if you are mentally unstable, you will drive your children absolutely crazy, buying different hearing aids, rejecting them, wanting them back again, losing them, hiding them in your shoes, and flushing them down the toilet, accidentally and on purpose.
I am pessimistic. With everything close-sourced, I can't get a remote with large dedicated buttons, and it would not be possible anyway.
The idea of bus-pirating to reverse-engineer the bidet remote protocol (was it ever fun or was I just seeking punishment when I was younger?) makes me want to shoot myself - so we just have to go in and push the wash button when appropriate, or deal with some excrement on occasions. Hard to wipe when you can't see and/or think straight.
There is little hope that competing TV OS's will ever address the ageing segment. Android is completely inpenetrable in its stupidity and lack of a consistent interface (I can barely answer the phone with that weird floating popup which only comes up sometimes). It's a huge effort for me to keep the text notification sound from muting itself in ways not imaginable - and having done it twice, I cannot possibly explain to my mon how to fix hers - she will just have to get used to checking for texts every so often. I don't think Apple gives a hoot about old folks either - their kids are the ones buying gear.
Voice recognition was a big letdown. Combined with Alexa's intermittent instability, it had the opposite effect: we are now summoned to turn on a light and argue about how bright it gets.
Diminished mental capacity is really the problem. Technology is not geared for that sort of customer. But it is more peculiar than just that - my mother remembers more calculus than I do (granted, I am a high-school dropout, but still) - but she cannot go to yahoo without typing yahoo.com into google...