💾 Archived View for evilswampmonster.flounder.online › july2023.gmi captured on 2023-07-22 at 16:24:56. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2023-07-10)
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went for a run with my mom this morning and then went to therapy, and now im at the gelateria for about 2 more minutes working on schoolwork (and definitely not procrastinating it by floundering) until i have to go to work for the afternoon. midway through typing that last sentence a bird landed on my laptop. it was cool but also im worried about the bird getting me sick.
wondering if my body is telling me that i need social time tonight or if i need time to myself. maybe i will see a show? unsure. but lately im feeling balanced! ok time to go
i have work tomorrow and should be sleeping but i have so many things to say
i feel like ive fallen into a depression pit lately. im desiring newness and closeness in a way that i can't quite define. i also tried to organize a social event for this weekend which kinda flopped so i feel embarrassed. thinking of things as exposure therapy and rejection therapy helps but i still feel stung. im still proud of myself for intentionally putting myself in a vulnerable situation in front of what feels like many people. i wouldn't be able to be here without spiraling 6 months ago. my therapist says that these pieces of growth are as significant as they feel, if not more so. but they feel like rain boots that are too big
i dont remember if ive told flounder about this or not but ive found that showing self care that's compatible with your love languages (gotta love those pop psychology buzzwords) is my favorite way to do it. for example, my love languages are words of affirmation and quality time, so i tell myself affirmations and spend time on myself. one of the affirmations ive been telling myself lately is that it's okay to be soft. pursuing softness in my fruit and lungs. giving myself breath like a peach pit swallowed whole, smooth all the way down. breathing easier