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| .. Happy Holidays .. |
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| The latest file from: |
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| The [S]tatic [S]yndicate |
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| Written By: The Ninja |
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| Now residing at these great boards: |
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| The Kepone Factory - 2400 .... [609] 799-5148 |
| The Dead Zone BBS - 1200 .... [609] 443-4762 |
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Hello there .. so nice to see all of you again. Has
it been that long since the last file? Who the fuck really
cares? Anyway - with the holiday season now in full swing I
figured I'd better pump out a file on what you ignorant
little shits should do in the shopping malls, on the
streets, and of course - in school! I know you've read all
the other neat-o files out there, but only a select few have
the right idea. It is from these files, along with my own
ideas, that I will present you with the latest in HOLIDAY
PHUN .. so kick back and open a brew while you read this,
and in case I forget .. Happy Holidays ..
<Of course - I give credit where it is due - unlike some
assholes we know!>
============================================================
From: How To Kill Santa Claus Dead!
By : The >Outland> / Kneon Knights/Metal Communications
BBS : Milliways 10 Meg BBS/AE (609)/921-1994
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>Outland> had some really nice ideas in this file. What you
see below are the highlights of the file - or what I feel
his best ideas were ..
"Tie a piano wire across two telephone poles and slit the
fat shit's throat when he sails through."
"Fire a fat seeking missle at his sleigh and blow the
fucker up in mid air."
"Sacrifice his reindeer."
"Have him arrested for breaking and entering..."
As you can see, >Outland> is really not too fond of the
Big Red One - Santa Claus. Remember to call his board!
Aside from Santa Claus there are plenty of other fun
if not anarchaic things to do in the winter time.
Remember that old old old file "Anarchy In The Snow"
by this one and very same Ninja? Lord, I hope not.
I had some good ideas - but just could not get them
across in a text file ..
The best thing to do from that file is the "Bloody
Arm In the Street Snow" or "Funnelating Ice Balls"
Check this BBS/AE for the file "Anarchy In The Snow"
Any half decent place should have it.
If not you can call The Kepone Factory and get it.
Now that Winter 1986/87 is upon us it is time for us "new
age" anarchists to come up with some new age ideas to just
generally piss people off in the cold weather.
If you like being immature <and who doesn't?> you could
always fill up a few water ballons <any liquid will do>
and throw them at people when it is VERY <sub 0> cold
out. Watch how quickly ice forms on skin!
Ever see those good-for-nothing bums who are always trying
to scrounge money off of you by washing your winshields in
the city? Well - who the hell wants water on thier
windshield in sub zero weather? Get out the spray bottle
and your old clothes - time to freeze some windows. Think
of all the hairy accidents you can cause.
Accidents? Did someone say accidents? Well, remember the
famed "Mormon File"? I hope so .. go and try my ideas on
that in the snow and boy are you in for a blast!
Let's move inside now .. even anarchists get cold after a
while! Shopping malls - full of the hustle and bustle of
people buying this and that. The holiday spirit is in the
air. Fuck that! Who needs that shit. Go and terrorize
all the Mall Santas you can find. Antagonize and threaten
them from a distance. Do it real close. Watch all the
little boys and girls cry when they find out that Santa
is really Mr. Smith the mailman -
Fuck a few stores over. Switch the pricetags on
everything. But DON'T YOU buy them because then
that's shoplifting .. wait till Mom sees what a
bargain LAZER TAG really is at $9.99. Just watch
and hold in your laughter as she takes Johnny's
Xmas present to the counter - and the cashier calls
the manager - who calls security .. heh heh ..
Bring a $10 bill to a Salvation Army Santa and
ask if you can have change.
Enough! Get out of the mall you mall rat!
School - ah well, vacation is over and it's school
time again .. shit .. extend your vacation another
day. Call the school and make a bomb threat. If they
do not close the school, then go and start a rumor that
you heard there was a bomb threat and theydid not
believe it. All of those "will-be" lawyers in your
school will crawl out of the woodwork and cry to the
administration that they are endangering our lives.
As a matter of fact - do not even call the school, just
call your local police station first and tell them about
the bomb. If you live in a hick town like most of us they
will shit in thier pants and close the whole town.
Turn over and go to sleep ..
Eventually they will stop buying that after you have done
it 10 days in a row. So now it is mid-January and you've
got to go to school.
Let them know of your discontent with having to take time
out of YOUR busy schedule to go to THIER school -
.. go crazy! ..
Ah well - I'm too fucking tired to finish this .. read
and enjoy ..
Don't forget to call these [S]tatic [S]yndicate boards:
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| The Kepone Factory 2400 ............ [609] 799-5148 |
| The Dead Zone BBS 1200 ............ [609] 443-476