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my hidden notebook for thoughts

This is just going to be a page for thoughts on Stacey, parasociality/waifuism/wotadom/yumejoshi/whatever, and this shrine itself.

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June 13th, 2022

I decided to start this page anew. Maybe I'll do that every once in a while.

I'm also going to try to update this again, even though I know nobody cares beside me.

Even though it's been a while since Zenkaiger ended, I still love Stacey very much.

I feel lonely constantly but a bit less because of him, and he's really one of the few things making me not give up currently. Life is hard at the moment.

I got pastel chalk for making art. Hopefully I'll have something I like done soon, and I'll be able to add it here and post it on twitter.

I also got a plushie of Caesar, and it's stupid how much just a little stuffed friend is making me happy. I like to have him nearby when doing uni stuff or whatever, and when I go to bed I have a little pillow for him and it makes me happy to wake up and see him first thing in the morning.

Donbros doesn't make me happy as much as Zenkai did, but I'm trying to get excited for Nitiasa again. I like Revice (Kagerou best boy btw, Daiji is also great)

I miss Seko Cafe Club, it was my little dose of happiness every month... (Obviously also had my dose of happiness every week with Zenkai)

I'm thinking of making an email and listing it here for whoever wants to talk to me. I'm thinking of it.

This is it for today.

July 19th, 2022

I took Little Caesar traveling with me to a mountain town. It was nice, even though I was too afraid to take him out of the house I was hosted out. Still got to have some fun with him, and it makes me feel closer to Stacey.

As I type this, I have him nearby. It makes me happy.

I got him a little bunny hat I put on him sometimes. Also like to share meals with him, like I'm hanging out with my friend. No, I don't put the food up to his mouth or anything.

Lately social interactions feel so empty. Just feels like I'm a clown trying to entertain an audience. I just don't really relate to anyone and no one can relate to me, I guess.

I'm glad I have Stacey through all this, I can trust him unlike other people, and he makes me happy.

I'm really happy I have him.

September 22th, 2022

I'm still alive. Still love Stacey.

I'm currently painting him again. Maybe this time I'll be able to post it.

I still feel close. Even though he is basically far away.

And Ryo is going to be in something else again. Hopefully I'll be able to watch it.

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