💾 Archived View for waitingforthe.day › journal › vices.gmi captured on 2023-07-22 at 16:23:32. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2023-03-20)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
0x0000: >> BEGIN HEADER................................................. 0x0040: DATETIME: 27-02-20XXT08:45...................................... 0x0080: SUBJECT: CONCERN................................................ 0x00c0: TX: UNKNOWN..................................................... 0x0100: RX: WAITINGFORTHE.DAY........................................... 0x0140: PRIORITY: HIGH.................................................. 0x0180: << END HEADER................................................... 0x01c0: >> BEGIN MESSAGE................................................ 0x0200: I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR YOU DUDE. I CARE A LOT FOR YO 0x0240: U BUT IT SEEMS LIKE YOU DON'T CARE FOR YOURSELF. YOU DISTANCE YO 0x0280: URSELF AND CONTINUE TO ABUSE SUBSTANCES, AND FOR WHAT? LOOK I KN 0x02c0: OW THINGS ARE ROUGH RIGHT NOW, TRULY I GET IT, BUT YOU CAN NOT K 0x0300: EEP GOING LIKE THIS. YOU'RE PUSHING EVERYONE AWAY, NOBODY WANTS 0x0340: TO HELP YOU BECAUSE YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO HELP YOURSELF. TRUTH 0x0380: IS THAT TO KEEP CHASING YOU UP LIKE THIS WHILE YOU SPEND EVERY N 0x03c0: IGHT IN A SHORT LIVED, HEDONISTIC HAZE IS EXHAUSTING. LIFE IS GO 0x0400: ING TO CATCH UP TO YOU SOON AND YOU'LL HAVE TO ANSWER FOR IT, AN 0x0440: D WHILE I'M GOING TO TRY MY BEST TO BE THERE FOR YOU I CAN'T MAK 0x0480: E ANY PROMISES.................................................. 0x04c0: << END MESSAGE..................................................
trial item 291 - findings summary week starting 20/02/20XX
we have now administered drug 5 to the subject. it's not clear if there are any meaningful changes to the subject's cognition as of yet. they seem more docile, generally slower to react to stimuli, yet still maintain much of the thought patterns from before just at a slower rate. in combination with drug 4, which we saw marked improvements to executive function with, there were no immediate side effects observed. it did, however, counter the speeding up of thought patterns seen with drug 4 over the short term.
subject thought patterns still remain destructive, focusing primarily on self-mutilation, self-hatred, and a longing for a supposed "release".
unlike previous drugs, once we gave the subject the inhibitor to calm them down it appears that it was ineffective at a regular dose. increasing the dosage worked, but the subject appears to have developed a dependence on the inhibitor. it is unclear if this is due to drug 5 or if it is due to long term exposure and ingestion of the inhibitor. more testing required.
next steps:
- cease drugs 4 and 5
- observe dependence on inhibitor
reminder: at any sign of the subject presenting danger to either themselves or any member of the clinical trial team, apply physical restraints immediately and force ingestion of inhibitor.