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Air Up My Own Damn Tires

[Tags: DIY, capitalism (pro and con), feelings and stuff]

There are deals you will never get in this life, even though

they are part of the sale. The one that sticks in my mind

the most, probably because it has to do with food, is

unlimited soup, salad, and break-sticks at a participating

Olive Garden. Since they the waiter only comes by every

15 minutes or so, how on earth are you going to get beyond

two? Additionally, experienced waiters know how to do

things with tone and even body language to make it even

more embarrassing to ask for . . . what is implied by the

special.

"Do you want . . . another soup?"

I mean, yes, that's what I was thinking when I said I

wanted the unlimited special, but, yes, we'll be here all

damn day if I get the amount I would like. And, yes, it is

easy to spin it that it would be my fault if that happened.

I may be on the spectrum, but I have learned that certain

glances mean that time should be valued. No one is

interested in reading the situation the way I am and then

making a principled stand against bait-and-switch shenanigans.

They aren't really selling unlimited soup or salad; they are

selling the idea of unlimited soup or salad -- and you should

have enjoyed the idea better like any normie optimist.

Here's another deal you can't get, at least not as male or

(I presume, using nothing but pessimism) a minority: you

cannot get the free service of your tires aired up at a

participating Firestone.

I tried to convince my white female wife that this was true,

but she thought that if we got in near when they opened and

let them know we could leave it with them all day, it would

happen.

The real test of a mental model is how predictive it is. As

a dark, hardcore misanthrope and pessimist I love to be

proven wrong. But in this case, I was correct. No way to

squeeze me in, I can make an appointment for next Tuesday

or Wednesday. And, yes, I get what a schmuck, hell, barely

any kind of man at all for not just doing my tire myself, even

though I buy tires from you and at point of sale you let me

know this is a free service, a real benefit to getting a

tire with them.

This happened early in the morning, and I must admit I was

a little crestfallen. I like DIY, working with hand tools,

and learning new things. I even said to my wife after my

failure that this was something like a 2-3 hour project from

research to acquisition of tools and knowledge, to done, so

what was the block?

Well, it so happens that airing up my tires is one of those

things one of my parents, in this case my dad, attempted to

teach me, but got so visibly frustrated when it didn't

instantly work that I felt the molten rage underneath the

surface, gave up on that, and put a mental block of my own

on the the whole process that has lasted to this day. My

parents were Baby Boomers of the actual generation, not the

stupidity of labels in internet culture. On top of that

they were working class people whose lives did not go the

way they wanted. This made them among the worst teachers I

have ever been around, at least in terms of skills. If the

point was to spread feelings of dread and worthlessness,

and the kind of helplessness that makes you just want to

give up, then they were pretty successful at conveying

the curriculum.

While that kind of stuff does have its own gravitational

pull, and some times on the oddest, most specific of things,

we do have the gifts of insight, reflection, forgiveness and

bursts of pure will -- the last one is the most overrated,

but sometimes needed to get the first step forward, which

it wasn't in this case; I just needed to notice the block

and reflect on the why.

So. . . with my apologies to the gopher and gemini, it was

to the web to figure out what kind of tools I would need

and what kind of pitfalls I might run into airing up my own

dang tires. The internet worked as intended as it told me

that there exists a machine that can air the tire and stop

at a pre-determined pressure level, it is only $75 and you

can pick it up today at Lowe's.

And, yes, I picked up that machine at Lowe's. I, who try to

make $2.00 razor cartridges last for years.

(extending razor life).

Doing this task correctly will prevent me from a possibly

greater expense and the indignity of going back to the same

bastards that began this whole situation. Also, having the

least amount of frustration in the process gets me past

feelings of weakness quicker. You can, and must, put some

price on self-respect, but $75 is well within my budget,

with some of the cost deferred by less wasted time, etc.

But to be clear, the real reason is the self respect.

==

I'd love to hear from people. My email is the handle minus

"net" (so, a work by Voltaire that starts with "c"), at

sdf.org.

While we're adding boiler plate: this work is in the public

domain. Do what you want with it.