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a collection of poems

i wrote some poems on my phone but a lot of them are short or had "eh, idk if i'll publish this one" vibes, so i'mma just slap them all here uwu!

home

a strange new neighborhood

a cafe, just like mine

a grocery store

and a bubble tea shop

this may as well be home

popcorn ceilings

cry myself to sleep

underneath popcorn ceilings

wishing they were stars

burning

i saw a girl who i couldn't unsee

she burned in my eyes like a television screen

but i really don't mind

as more and more i find

that i'd really rather look at no-one else

mannequins

a memory of mannequins

enveloping me

did they love me

sweet song

the silence of the night

is the sweetest song i know

i'm sorry for waxing

maybe no-one understands

i wish i could communicate

the euphoria i get

when i'm a silhouette

in a town of silhouettes

i lie and i pretend

take me back

back to when

being young was all it took

to be enough

to give them hope

but i got old

not pulling through

too little has happened

since i was sixteen

for me to be fine

about the current time

so all i do is lie

i lie and i pretend

let's dream

the city never sleeps

the forest never wakes

so take my hand

or follow my lead

let's dream

hellish vanaties

your eyes

hellish vanities

comforting in that

the face inside is not my own

your eyes

an equilibrium

hope and doubt cobined

a sea i sink in like a stone

my feelings, intertwined

outside

have you felt the air lately

wandering outside

it's not been that fair lately

that i can't just stay outside

i work so hard, i cry so hard

this may as well be hell

but though it's hell, i must admit

that fire burns so well

the reason for this pain

it's too ambiguous

i may be chasing sugar

but sugar tastes so sweet

[the rest of these poems have Content Warnings]

pretty

cw: blood

i watched blood drip

from cuts in my skin

i always had thought

that it looked rather pretty

i say that it's seasonal

i say that year round

they say time repeats itself

but nothing's coming back

unholy mess

cw: violence, drug references

i went to the shed

where the floorboards hit his head

the body went away

but the knife stayed the night

and i felt uncertain

about feeling so alright

we nodded off

and her breathing stopped

and i'd almost have been sad

if i weren't so very jealous

i spent my time alone that night

and felt weird about feeling alright

everything i get is just

losing and regret

and it's hard to believe

the people who preach

that there's value to continue

in this great unholy mess

to hurt myself

cw: self harm

i don't need to cut

i don't want to hurt myself

but it feels so good

soiled linen

cw: self harm

some screaming

and self-loathing

a few clean cuts

and soiled linens

2023-04-26