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Sick and Tired of Stupid 'Smart' Products

It is getting harder and harder to find simple devices that just do their job _without_ a spying app, remotes, rechargeable batteries, USB ports, WIFI, and extremely annoying flashing lights.

Yesterday I spent hours trying to by a simple auxilliary speaker for a TV for an elderly hard-of-hearing woman. Simple requirements: plugs into headphone jack; has simple controls (on/off, volume). Deal-breakers: all of the above-listed anti-features.

Finally managed to get something that may work (we'll see) - with some anti-features (bluetooth, USB sound) but at least, no RGB lights, remotes, or spyware. Should default to analog input.

LEDs

What is it with LEDs in everything, especially blue ones? Every evening I have to go around my bedroom covering bright and often blue LEDs of computers, chargers, AC, air filter, disk drives (my SSD shoots a bright blue circle onto the ceiling), etc. If I forget I may wake up and be unable to go to sleep and too sleepy to get up and cover it. Blue LEDs completely disrupt sleep.

USB

There are now around a dozen USB specifications, with various overlaps and backward compatibilities, and about as many connectors. Many chargers are floating around the house.

At least USB C, the current favorite, can supply sufficient power and plugs in in either direction (there is a word for that which I can't remember!). Previous incarnations - micro USB ports have abysmal power characteristics, and a connector that is often rated for 20 insertions with barbs that break and bend.

I hate USB as a standard. Sure it makes life a little easier sometimes, but it is horrendous. As a software developer often working with very small devices, implementing USB is a nightmare and often guarantees that you no longer work with a very small device. It virtually guarantees that you will not understand that part of the system (compared to a PS/2 keyboard, or a serial port, for instance) and will be forced to use a library.

Bluetooth

How many microwave-radiating devices do we need, especially stuck into our ears? Acoustic neuroma was once an extremely rare brain tumor. And if we don't stick it into our head, than is it that bad to have a wire? And then you have to deal with a battery, which severely limits the lifespan of the device.

WiFi

Do I want my air conditioner to be networked and available to Russian hackers? Will I install the app to control it? Does anyone need to remotely prepare my space to be air-conditioned?

At this point I own several air conditioners with WiFi (not enabled, of course, but who knows if they decide to mesh with Amazon, Apple or Android?). A washing machine. My FujiColor camera. Roku remotes. Not counting computers - I've lost track of the WiFi devices hanging off my router long ago...

Remotes

How many remotes can one keep? It is really getting out of hand with lightbulbs, air conditioners, fans, lamps, and everything else coming with a remote. New TVs, especially cheaper ones, cannot work without one, and even an expensive Amazon QLED TV I have a misfortune of owning will not start if the remote is dead.

BTW, I got it for my elderly mother-in-law for its voice control feature, but it turns out that you cannot password-protect purchases when voice control is used. Brilliant, since older people can't figure out the difference between going to their Paramount+ app and buying an entirely new subscription from Amazon! Or for that matter read the not-so-small print showing that the movie they selected is a rental, and does not come with Amazon Prime.

Spyware

I will simply not buy anything that requires an app. Are people really that stupid? Retorical question.

Sticky plastic

Any kind of soft-padded items turn to a leaky disaster in a year or two -- sooner if sunlight touches them. Hand and power tools of all sorts are almost impossible to get without soft plastic grips. Affordable ones, anyway.

Batteries

I've ranted a lot about lithium batteries, but if you missed it... A lithium battery is an incendiary device just waiting for an opportunity to burn down your house and kill you. A malfunction in the charger -- or a cheap charger without a malfunction will overheat a lithium battery to the point of ignition. A puncture will set of a fireworks show you will not soon forget. A lithium fire is almost impossible to put out. And if you look where it comes from and the impact on our planet, you will probably side with me.

Many devices don't even need batteries. But once there is a battery which cannot be removed, you will be buying a new device after 100-200 charging cycles.

Disposal cost

No one thinks much about what happens when that battery fails or plastic turns sticky, as the item is tossed into the garbage bin. Even with e-cycling, all that toxic metal has to go somewhere. Nuff said.

I am trying to buy only simple, reparable, minimum-plastic, no-tech-bullshit devices as much as possible. I can't always afford it these days, when a good screwdriver can cost as much as a downpayment on a house my parents could've bought (sadly, they did not).

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