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There is a person in my life, whom I have known for a very long time, who previously lived in my area but left several years ago. A number of my real-life friends know this person and are also friends with them. Not long ago they came to visit the area, and as a result, they were included in many of my in-person interactions for a while.
Though this person and I were (and to an extent still are) close, I have always had my grievances about them. When they lived near me, they would frequently get on my nerves, intentionally or otherwise. We once thought very similarly about the world, but our views have drifted apart over the years, I moving more in one direction and they in another. They wish they still lived in the area, and I sympathize with that, but I have to admit to myself that I appreciate the distance.
This tugs at my conscience for two reasons. The first is that this person does not feel the same way about me. They tell me quite frequently that they miss me, they appreciate me, and they wish we lived closed together again. Though they hold their views very strongly, I don't feel a particular urge to defend my own positions with them, which I suspect makes them believe I agree with them more than I really do. And while this person can try my patience from time to time, I know they're sincere in these sentiments about me.
The second reason is that all my friends who know this person really like them. I can't easily pass on a party we're both invited to without appearing to be petty or searching for an excuse. And if I host a gathering they hear about when they are in town, it's impossible for me to say no to them.
I'm not good at handling difficult social situations like this. I hate confrontation, and I get nervous at the thought of expressing my real feelings with the person or my friends--especially when the person doesn't know how I feel and would be extremely hurt by it. I wish there was an easier way.
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[Last updated: 2023-07-03]