💾 Archived View for evilswampmonster.flounder.online › poetry.gmi captured on 2023-07-10 at 13:10:12. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2023-06-16)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
you are 12, mii sports
gross character, disgusting
spite for online life
I had this stack of magazines in the back of my dad's closet. My dad died last week so the magazines are mine. I guess the closet's mine too. They're the kind of magazines that aren't appropriate to talk about, if you catch my drift. What I'm trying to say is that they're sex magazines. They're copies of Playboy from the 70s and 80s. My wife Linda and I, we were cleaning out my dad's house. He had a heart attack. And the magazines were sitting at the back of the closet. February 1985 was the first one on the stack. This girl in 80s hair all swept to the side and a big cowgirl hat and big cowgirl other stuff if you catch my drift, standing in front of this big star, smiling to kingdom come. At the top, above her head, it says THIS YEAR IN SEX (AND WHAT A YEAR IT'S BEEN!). Below that a little it says YAAAAAA-HOOOOOO. They don't make porn like that anymore. All smiley and rebellious at the same time. Porn now is just heaving and hawing like cattle. My wife Linda and I, we don't like porn too much.
I put the magazines on Facebook marketplace and a girl wanted them. I thought she must have been a lesbian but she said that she wanted to keep them in her boyfriend's apartment as decoration. I guess that's the kind of thing you can do now, be a lesbian with a boyfriend and give him porn. I don't know if I should've sold them to her. She kept saying that she was out of college and 22 years old whenever I asked her age, but I don't know. She looked young. She said that the magazine on the top caught her attention. This girl picking them up, she had cowboy boots on. I don't know if cowboy stuff is something that kids are doing nowadays as Kink but I'm glad the magazines are gone.
HELLO MY NAME IS CHASE OUTLAW AND I'M A BULLRIDER. I HAVE A FUN TIME RIDING THE BULLS BUT NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY. HERE ARE THE THINGS THAT I LIKE AND DISLIKE:
I DISLIKE LOSING WHEN IM RIDING THE BULL. WE ONLY HAVE TO STAY ON THE BULL FOR 8 SECONDS WHICH DOESNT SEEM LIKE A LONG TIME TO LAST (FOR EXAMPLE, AT SEX. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THE BULLS THOUGH) BUT IT IS A LONG TIME WHEN YOURE DOING IT. My wife talks about things lasting longer than you would expect too. She works 8 hours a day and talks about how long it is every day. IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, IT'S CRAZY THAT MY SHIFT AT WORK LASTS 8 SECONDS AND MINE LASTS 8 HOURS. THATS LIKE 100X THE AMOUNT OF TIME! MY OTHER DISLIKE IS THE FACT THAT I BUSTED MY EYE OPEN WHEN I GOT BUCKED OFF A BULL ONE TIME. I STILL HAVE THE EYE BUT I FRACTURED MY SKULL AND STUFF.
My likes are my wife and the lord my god. My wife is one of those girls in horror movies who walks around the house in her underwear and gets killed by a serial killer. It's nice because she gets to work from home. She hasn't been killed yet which is also cool. It sucks that she can't do childcare while she works-- we have 6 kids, all between the ages of 0 and 3. She also hates that she has to do that. But she's obviously hot because the girls who get killed first in horror movies always are. Given that we both have such dangerous careers, our kids spend a lot of time with their grandma. The last thing I love is the pickles from Jimmy John's. They still taste a little bit like cucumbers which I like. I ALSO LOVE MY COACH. HE WAS A BULLRIDER TOO BUT HES IN A WHEELCHAIR NOW. THE REASON WHY I LIKE BULLRIDING SO MUCH IS BECAUSE THE FAME AND THE THRILL MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I'LL LIVE FOREVER
i am 17 and we are playing my favorite game waitingroom waitingroom and we are sitting in a room with no windows. i tell them what i am there for and they spin me around before dropping me on the platform. after i strip like a woman, someone baptizes my bones with stickers. i draw my eyes inside myself.
if you think about the shape of your eyes, you can imagine calcium crescent moons sitting inside your head at the back of them, spooning them like bodies. i am not seventeen anymore and the stickers did not peel off slowly. one day the peanut butter jar of seventeen will be empty and covered in sticker residue. i will put it back in the fridge anyway.
(the internet is a stress ball that jiggles when you touch it with a stick. touch it with your hands. kiss it. it wants you to put your hairy parts on it so bad! (so that it can be disgusted with you making it hairy (but it didn't want you to do that. it wants to talk to you about how much it hates the people who touch it. (the ball has dementia and doesn't recognize you. (tears aren't honey. tears are not honey because they evaporate but both never truly spoil and they might be good for your skin but in the long term it will be bad. (if i sit in my living room and hear a door open then i can trick myself into hearing long vowel sounds and the tune of the washing machine starting. (my mother shows me a video on the internet called "the c word, but for men." (im surprised she likes it. she says that she probably shouldn't show it to me and i tell her that i watched the video 7 years ago. (ive been staring at this couch for longer than 7 years. ((ee cummings said that death is no parenthesis and he died) more than 7 years ago))))))))))
-tie two bananas together and make them walk
-tie the banana to a fishing pole and cast it down the street
-put the banana in a stroller
-dress your dog up like a banana
-make the banana walk you
-dress up the strangers like bananas and make them walk each other
-fire your therapist
- & the heat works fine just in time for summer.
- & i am remembering summer in the back of my girlfriend's car senior year of high school. we splurged for a ten dollar walmart minifan so that we didn't destroy her battery. it did not work very well.
- & i roll down the windows in my corolla
- & i am remembering
- & in the same way that fall holds nostalgia in her hands, summer blows it on your face like fine sand. and it works because it sticks to the sweat on your face.