💾 Archived View for spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › piracy › courier.txt captured on 2023-06-16 at 19:53:04.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
YOU HACK 'EM, WE HUMP 'EM
or
Why YOU Should Be a Software Courier
by Dixie Flatline
-=EMC=-/?VD?/UltraTech Courier
Hey, Binkie, yer sittin' there with a shit-eating grin on
your yawp and that brand-new HST from the Pieman dangling from
your com port. Only trouble is, you just logged onto Filez 'R' Us
and have the wrong end of a 3-to-1 transfer ratio staring you
right in the face -- and you ain't got dick-primary in new warez
you can upload at the moment.
Sounds like _you_ need to become a courier for a cracking
group. "Jeez, I dunno, Dix. Sounds like a lotta hard work," you
say. Well f*ck, man, LIFE's hard work at times. You probably
tore out your hair by the fistfuls trying to get that first modem
and Procomm to work back in the dark ages -- and now you've got a
half-meg Ymodem-G transfer whistling away at 14.4 kilobaud. The
hard work's behind you!
9 REASONS WHY _YOU_ SHOULD BE HUMPING WAREZ
9) f*ck the software companies!
8) You get first crack (pun intended) at the newest programs.
7) f*ck the software companies!
6) You have a compelling reason to upload! (Great for leeches
like me.)
5) f*ck the software companies!
4) You can kiss many file ratios goodbye. Good couriers usually
get exempt status on the "home base" boards; you will
_definitely_ wind up with some bodacious upload credit on the
boards you hump to on a regular basis.
3) f*ck the software companies!
2) When you're a courier, women will pull up their skirts and ask
you to play doctor. (Unless you're a female courier, in which
case change gender to "women," clothing to "pants," and
direction to "down.")
[Needless to say, this is just wishful thinking on my part.
In the six months or so I've been schleppin' bytes, I have yet
to be woken up at three AM by Mariah Carey pounding on the
door and screaming, "Let me in, you bastard, before I come all
over your doorknob!"]
1) f*ck the software companies!
THE BASIC TOOLS:
1) US Robotics Courier HST modem. (Aptly named, you noticed.)
It's not brutally expensive, it's faster than prunes through a
duck, and 95% of the pirate boards out there are running it
(or its rich-bitch cousin, the Dual Standard), so maximum
throughput is, like, in the ag-bay.
2) Your favorite flavor of comm software, preferably one that
supports both Zmodem and Ymodem-G batch-fers. (And if it
doesn't, well...that's why God invented Chuck Forsberg!)
3) A second job. (Those LD charges can add up!)
WHAT MAKES A GOOD WAREZ RUNNER?
1) Call the "home base" BBS _daily_. Make it the first thing you
do (in conjunction with that first, kick-start-the-brain cup
of java, of course), or the last thing (Letterman boring?
Fire up Qmodem!). That's the only way you can catch the new
releases -- you know, the ones that are SO new the ZIP
comment's still damp...
2) PRIORITIZE. Some distribution boards will give you a list of
subsidiary BBS's that need the new stuff ASAP. After that,
throw it up wherever they've got the hard disk space. But get
it to the assigned boards FIRST!
3) Keep track of your work. Right from the start, I began keeping
stats on which boards get what warez -- as well as any boards
that had it already. (This refers both to couriers for rival
groups, when two or more groups release the same program
simultaneously, and casual cross-pollinators -- what I refer
to as "the amateurz.") Periodically upload your stat reports
to "home base," just to prove that you're really doing
something with all the shit you're leeching in the name of
"couriering!" It's one thing to brag about all the boards
you're getting the warez to, but when it's down there in black
and white (or the ASCII equivalent thereof)...well, you know
what they say about the vocal abilities of money, and the
ambulatory powers of bullshit.
SO HOW DO I GET IN ON THE GOOD LIFE?
Basically, keep your ears and eyes open. Major groups
such as INC and The Humble Guys have periodic recruiting drives
for new couriers. Alternately, new groups pop up every so often,
and they'd LOVE to have someone tote their latest bales for 'em.
(Me, I lucked out by being in the right place at the right time
when -=EMC=-, ?VD?, and UltraTech were first looking for runners.
Hey, it could happen to you!)
Special thanks to SlaveLord @ UltraTech BBS, Bearman @ Vortex,
Father Time @ Inner City, Captain Tom @ Twin Peaks, and all the
other sysops who bore with me when I f*cked something up.
Remember, the shortest distance between two BBS's is a Flat Line!
X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
Salted Slug Systems Strange 408-454-9368
Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043
Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
Tomorrow's 0rder of Magnitude Finger_Man 408-961-9315
My Dog Bit Jesus Suzanne D'Fault 510-658-8078
Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X