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Title: This is War
Subtitle: Inspiration For a Fag and Drug-User Uprising
Date: May 9, 1988
Source: Retrieved on 11/14/2021 from https://untorellipress.noblogs.org/files/2013/10/this-means-war.pdf
Authors: Vito Russo
Topics: insurrectionary, drugs, Queer, gay liberation
Published: 2021-11-14 00:00:00Z

VITO RUSSO was a film historian best known for The Celluloid Closet, a history of gay representation in film. He was actively involved in the gay liberation movement and ACT UP. After being diagnosed with HIV in 1985, he died on November 7, 1990 of AIDS-related complications.

This speech, often titled “Why We Fight,” was originally given at an ACT UP demonstration in Albany, NY on May 9, 1988.

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A friend of mine in New York City has a half-fare transit card, which

means that you get on buses and subways for half price. And the other

day, when he showed his card to the token attendant, the attendant

asked what his disability was and he said, “I have AIDS.” And the attendant

said, no you don’t, if you had AIDS, you’d be home dying. And so, I wanted to

speak out today as a person with AIDS who is not dying.

You know, for the last three years, since I was diagnosed, my family

thinks two things about my situation. One, they think I’m going to die, and

two, they think that my government is doing absolutely everything in their

power to stop that. And they’re wrong, on both counts.

So, if I’m dying from anything, I’m dying from homophobia. If I’m

dying from anything, I’m dying from racism. If I’m dying from anything, it’s

from indifference and red tape, because these are the things that are preventing

an end to this crisis. If I’m dying from anything, I’m dying from Jesse Helms.

If I’m dying from anything, I’m dying from the President of the United States.

And, especially, if I’m dying from anything, I’m dying from the sensationalism

of newspapers and magazines and television shows, which are interested in me

as a human interest story — only as long as I’m willing to be a helpless victim,

but not if I’m fighting for my life.

If I’m dying from anything, I’m dying from the fact that not enough

rich, white, heterosexual men have gotten AIDS for anybody to give a shit.

You know, living with AIDS in this country is like living in the twilight zone.

Living with AIDS is like living through a war which is happening only for

those people who happen to be in the trenches. Every time a shell explodes,

you look around and you discover that you’ve lost more of your friends, but

nobody else notices. It isn’t happening to them. They’re walking the streets as

though we weren’t living through some sort of nightmare. And only you can

hear the screams of the people who are dying and their cries for help. No one

else seems to be noticing.

And it’s worse than a war, because during a war people are united in

a shared experience. This war has not united us, it’s divided us. It’s separated

those of us with AIDS and those of us who fight for people with AIDS from

the rest of the population.

Two and a half years ago, I picked up **Life** magazine, and I read an

editorial which said, “It’s time to pay attention, because this disease is now

beginning to strike the rest of us.” It was as if I wasn’t the one holding the

magazine in my hand. And since then, nothing has changed to alter the

perception that AIDS is not happening to the real people in this country.

It’s not happening to us in the United States, it’s happening to them — to the disposable populations of fags and junkies who deserve what they get.

The media tells them that they don’t have to care, because the people who

really matter are not in danger. Twice, three times, four times **- The New York**has published editorials saying, don’t panic yet over AIDS, it still hasn’t

entered the general population, and until it does, we don’t have to give a shit.

And the days, and the months, and the years pass by, and they don’t

spend those days and nights and months and years trying to figure out how

to get hold of the latest experimental drug, and which dose to take it at, and

in what combination with other drugs, and from what source. And, how are

you going to pay for it? And where are you going to get it? Because it isn’t

happening to them, so they don’t give a shit.

And they don’t sit in television studios, surrounded by technicians

who are wearing rubber gloves, who won’t put a microphone on you, because

it isn’t happening to them, so they don’t give a shit. And they don’t have their

houses burned down by bigots and morons. They watch it on the news and

they have dinner and they go to bed, because it isn’t happening to them, and

they don’t give a shit.

And they don’t spend their waking hours going from hospital room

to hospital room, and watching the people that they love die slowly of neglect

and bigotry, because it isn’t happening to them and they don’t have to give a

shit. They haven’t been to two funerals a week for the last three or four or five

years, so they don’t give a shit, because it’s not happening to them.

And we read on the front page of *The New York Times* last Saturday

that Anthony Fauci now says that all sorts of promising drugs for treatment

haven’t even been tested in the last two years because he can’t afford to hire the

people to test them. We’re supposed to be grateful that this story has appeared

in the newspaper after two years. Nobody wonders why some reporter didn’t

dig up that story and print it 18 months ago, before Fauci got dragged before

a Congressional hearing.

How many people are dead in the last two years who might be alive

today if those drugs had been tested more quickly? Reporters all over the

country are busy printing government press releases. They don’t give a shit, it

isn’t happening to them — meaning that it isn’t happening to people like them,

the real people, the world-famous general public we all keep hearing about.

Legionnaire’s Disease was happening to them because it hit people

who looked like them, who sounded like them, who were the same color as

them. And that fucking story about a couple of dozen people hit the front

page of every newspaper and magazine in this country, and it stayed there until

that mystery got solved.

All I read in the newspapers tells me that the mainstream, white,

heterosexual population is not at risk for this disease. All the newspapers I read

tell me that IV drug users and homosexuals still account for the overwhelming

majority of cases, and a majority of those people at risk.

And can somebody please tell me why every single penny allocated

for education and prevention gets spent on ad campaigns that are directed

almost exclusively to white, heterosexual teenagers, who they keep telling us

are not at risk!

Can somebody tell me why the only television movie ever produced

by a major network in this country about the impact of this disease is not

about the impact of this disease on the man who has AIDS, but of the impact

of AIDS on his white, straight, nuclear family? Why, for eight years, every

newspaper and magazine in this country has done cover stories on AIDS only

when the threat of heterosexual transmission is raised?

Why, for eight years, every single educational film designed for use in

high schools has eliminated any gay positive material before being approved by

the Board of Education? Why, for eight years, every single public information

pamphlet and videotape distributed by establishment sources has ignored

specific homosexual content?

Why is every bus and subway ad I read and every advertisement and

every billboard I see in this country specifically not directed at gay men?

Don’t believe the lie that the gay community has done its job and done it well and educated its people. The gay community and IV drug users are not all

politicized people living in New York and San Francisco. Members of minority

populations, including so called sophisticated gay men are abysmally ignorant

about AIDS.

If it is true that gay men and IV drug users are the populations at risk

for this disease, then we have a right to demand that education and prevention

be targeted specifically to these people. And it is not happening. We are being

allowed to die, while low risk populations are being panicked — not educated,

panicked — into believing that we deserve to die.

Why are we here together today? We’re here because it is happening

to us, and we do give a shit. And, if there were more of us, AIDS wouldn’t

be what it is at this moment in history. It’s more than just a disease, which

ignorant people have turned into an excuse to exercise the bigotry they have

always felt.

It is more than a horror story, exploited by the tabloids. AIDS is really

a test of us, as a people. When future generations ask what we did in this crisis,

we’re going to have to tell them that we were out here today. And we have to

leave the legacy to those generations of people who will come after us.

Someday, the AIDS crisis will be over. Remember that. And when

that day comes, when that day has come and gone, there’ll be people alive on

this earth — gay people and straight people, men and women, black and white — who will hear the story that once there was a terrible disease in this country

and all over the world, and that a brave group of people stood up and fought

and, in some cases, gave their lives, so that other people might live and be free.

So, I’m proud to be with my friends today and the people I love,

because I think you’re all heroes, and I’m glad to be part of this fight. But,

to borrow a phrase from Michael Callen’s song : all we have is love right now,

what we don’t have is time.

In a lot of ways, AIDS activists are like those doctors out there: they’re

so busy putting out fires and taking care of people on respirators that they

don’t have the time to take care of all the sick people. We’re so busy putting out

fires right now that we don’t have the time to talk to each other and strategize

and plan for the next wave, and the next day, and next month, and the next

week, and the next year.

And we’re going to have to find the time to do that in the next few

months. And we have to commit ourselves to doing that. And then, after we

kick the shit out of this disease, we’re all going to be alive to kick the shit out

of this system, so that this never happens again.

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