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⬅️ Previous capture (2022-03-01)

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i was away for a couple of days helping my boyfriend and his mom clean out and organize things in her old house. a lot of it was setting things aside for donation, or putting in bags for disposal. everything else we sifted through and found things we wanted! there was so much vintage, you would not believe. the glimpse into the-love-of-my-life's past life was great. i'd been here many times before-not enough, i feel now-but this time was obviously different. it did feel different. and since we were going so deep into all of his things, there was a lot we dug up that was insightful or emotional or nostalgic.

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i had a great time. on the way up to the country-side, we stopped at a donut place local to myself that his mom is a huge fan of. she hadn't had their donuts since at least before the pandemic began. i had a banana-glaze oreo-dusted cake donut & one with vanilla glaze and fruity pebbles. charlie got peanut butter glaze & mini chocolate chips, and vanilla glaze w oreos (just classic 'cookies and cream'). they're freshly made and come out soft and hot. we stopped for coffee on the way as well, and i had a flat white for the first time in a long while. (─‿‿─)

since we weren't going to have any food in the fridge at the house, we did stop at a grocery store on the way up. collectively we didn't end up getting many groceries--i mainly got things i've wanted to get at this specific grocery store local to his mom, like a whipped cake frosting i wanted to buy from the bakery. ♡ i also got scrapple that is local to the area, and that i don't ever see (or maybe i haven't seen it *yet*? since i wasn't looking until recently..) at my local grocers. also, voodoo chips! anyone like those? they're really good. if you can find the hot ones especially, since those ones are the best. :o) these were just the regular variety.

we realized fully grocery shopping for a night was counter-productive, though, and not cost-effective. so we ended up also going and ordering a pizza at a place that my boyfriend had grown up eating. they also sell birch beer in plastic cups. (we did end up waiting in the car outside the pizzeria for 45 minutes waiting... it ended up being so good and worth it, though.) it was a true new-york style pizza, thin crust-thin everything.

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having this nostalgic-to-my-bf-and-his-mom's food, and initially walking around that house i had been to often so many years ago was really sentimental to me. i was completely up in my own head, although present in convo lol. i just felt really happy to be there with them and going through everything! looking at charlie's drawings all over his walls, plus the ones he did with old friends etc... old con booklets, bits and bobs of cosplay, all these things that even were relevant around the time we first met. it was so much. besides running around doing a bunch of cleaning and sweating and getting dust in our eyes and sinuses it was just. fun!! like a sleepover with a purpose. and the purpose is really sad, but it's also fun. i mean, i guess some people are glad to sell their houses--but i can understand why there's a lot of things wrapped up in the context of a house sometimes. so much is there and so much is inherently involved. i love homes for this reason, and old houses especially. i was really grateful to be presented with this opportunity to look all around his old home which IS physically a bit old, in detail. the combination of this, with ending up going through photo albums showing things that were still around, was so nice. ❤ (ɔˆз(ˆ⌣ˆc)

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we ended up going to bed quite late saturday night. his mom had been doing all the bedding since we had gotten to the house along with cleaning out her own room, so charlie got the bedding out of the dryer and we made our bed. mom had already passed out, it was something like 1a.m.!

on the 13th/sunday i was super tired. we got some drive-thru breakfast at panera bread and took it back to the house to eat. sitting in the kitchen surrounded by bags, and it was only going to progress. a majority of things that weren't his being stored in his room and other miscellanae were already gone from the night before, so we mainly sorted old cosplay & books/media. at one point i just sat in silence reading a con schedule for otakon 2011 because i was there too. a huge part i think of why charlie and i have been together so long is because of how much we relate. just reading the panel names and what the guests were was unlocking vague memories of the BCC and the fountain areas. also so. many. vintage stickers. i love how much he and his mom were into scrapbooking. i wanna scrapbook!

his dad stopped by the old house that day, to drop of valentine's gifts for both of us (aww!)-he had gotten us a bunch of turtles after we had hooked him onto them-the chocolate caramel pecan candy! plus some fuzzy socks! one of the things we're taking whenever we come back to get the other half of the things his mom is bequeathing us is a john wayne plastic cup for kids from what feels like the 60s. it feels like it's made out of sterilite. 0: i mentioned this to my dad because it was cool, and also because he loves golden-age of hollywood westerns (i think his fave is clint eastwood though). it's charlie's dad's from his childhood that he gave to charlie when he was little. that's so cute. it's the perfect size to be a little juice cup. (/// ̄  ̄///)

i want to make a post on my fc2 blog sometime soon again-but it'll be a compilation of everything from the last while plus as many photos as i like. it's probably counterproductive to have like, three separate journals and two of which are public online but not in the same place. is it? i feel like i have to decide what each one is designated for, when that's not the case. what i actually need to do is let myself just do whatever feels best in the moment and not worry about little things anymore. if anything, it might actually be good that i journal so much. once i write down things that have happened, it feels like it sticks around as a vivid memory longer. it's also motivating, etc. even inwardly and towards myself, i feel the need to justify my actions. ヽ( ̄ω ̄(。。 )ゝ i'm going to make little steps towards being more forthright and confident this year.

i'm posting this on valentine's day, so from me & mine,

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