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2016-04-29 09:04:43
Joseph Grenny
April 25, 2016
A few years ago, when I got a speeding ticket, I was offered the option of
attending traffic school in lieu of a black mark on my otherwise spotless
driving record. I showed up at City Hall promptly at 6 PM, hoping my
educational experience would end at the advertised 8:30 PM. The instructor was
25 minutes late and quite disorganized. By 8:15 PM he was on slide 18 of 123
and seemed to be just getting into the groove. My heart sunk and I was quickly
getting resentful. At 8:26 PM he launched into what promised to be a lengthy
story about a fascinating multi-car accident. I felt a toxic sense of dread and
powerless. After all this was his meeting, not mine and I need the points
taken off my driving record.
Why are meetings so predictably unproductive? Why is it that the more people
you put into a room the more certain it is that the meeting will go late and
everyone will act powerless to do something about it?
In 1964 John Darley and Bibb Latane conducted an experiment on group
powerlessness. Subjects were led to believe they were part of a group
discussion about personal problems, in which one participant is struck with an
epileptic seizure. Darley and Latane wondered what conditions would predict
whether the subject witnessing the seizure would either sit passively or
interrupt the meeting and take action to help. It turned out that the larger
the group the less likely the subject was to break ranks from powerless peers
and leave the room in search of help. This has become known as bystander
apathy.
If human beings can act so passively when health and safety are on the line, it
should be no wonder that we turn ourselves into victims when the sole risk is
an hour or two of wasted time. Meetings are so notoriously ineffective because
most participants act like passive victims rather than responsible actors.
Interestingly, even meeting leaders often view themselves as constrained by
unstated and untested group expectations that limit their ability to intervene
effectively in the group process. They allow dysfunctional time-wasting
behavior to go unchecked because they imagine it is the vox populi.
I ve made myself a meeting victim more often than I d like to admit, but over
the years I ve discovered that if I m suffering, others are likely suffering
too, and it s in my power to do something. There are tactful things I can do to
not only take responsibility for my own investment of time, but to become a
healthy voice for the silent majority. In fact, most people silently cheer when
someone takes action to refocus or cut off time-wasting activities.
Here are seven of my favorite interventions you can use to stop meandering in a
meeting:
Come prepared. You can organize a chaotic conversation and gain
disproportionate influence by simply arriving with a clearly articulated straw
position on the topic to be discussed. Don t push it on others, but offer to
share it if others believe that will help accelerate discussion. More often
than not they will.
Set boundaries. Take responsibility for your time. If a meeting is notorious
for starting late and running over, let people know when the meeting begins
what your boundaries are. For example, you might say, I understand we re
starting late but I have a commitment to the Murphy team I want to keep so I
have a hard stop at 10:45 AM.
Trust your gut. Go public. Check with the group. Notice, honor and trust your
gut. If you re feeling lost, pay attention. If you re feeling bored, notice it.
There s a good chance others are, too. Then, tactfully and tentatively share
your concern. Don t express it as truth; instead, own the fact that it is
simply your experience. Next, check to see if others are feeling similarly.
Here s what that might sound like: I m not sure I m tracking the discussion.
We seem to be moving between three different agenda items. Are others seeing
that, too?
Restate the less-than-obvious. If discussion is toggling between two or more
problems, summarize the topics on the table and suggest the group tackle one at
a time. For example, I m hearing points about both whether this is a good
investment and when we should make the purchase. I think we ve already made the
purchase decision and timing is the only question. Is that right?
Ask the question no one s asking. If a sacred cow is glaringly obvious, ask for
confirmation of its existence. For example, I m getting from some of the
comments that some of us question the wisdom of the original decision. Is that
right?
Spot the weeds. Periodically point out digressions into unproductive detail or
tangents. Everyone in the group is responsible for the group process so if you
say nothing, you re part of the problem. Say something like, It sounds like we
re in agreement about the policy. It seems like rather than wordsmith it now,
it might be better to have someone do a draft?
Clarify responsibilities at the end. It s rare that someone in the meeting
takes the time to summarize decisions and clarify commitments at the end. This
usually only takes 60 seconds but saves hours in misunderstanding and future
meetings. Even if you aren t running the meeting, you can speak up and ask,
Can we take a second to summarize what we ve agreed to and who will do what by
when? Maybe I m the only one who s fuzzy but I want to be sure I follow through
on my commitments.
As I sat festering in my misery in traffic school I began to suspect I was not
alone. I had 175 other classmates who might be playing victim right alongside
me. So I checked my gut, went public, and checked with the person running the
meeting.
Officer, I m anxious to hear the end of this story however, I m wondering
what time class ends.
He looked a bit uncertain. I thought it ended at 9:30 PM.
I heard an audible groan from my classmates.
What time were you told it ended? he inquired.
8:30, I said.
He looked at his watch. Then announced, Class dismissed. The cheers were
audible. I felt like the valedictorian of the class.
Joseph Grenny is a four-time New York Times bestselling author, keynote
speaker, and leading social scientist for business performance. His work has
been translated into 28 languages, is available in 36 countries, and has
generated results for 300 of the Fortune 500. He is the cofounder of
VitalSmarts, an innovator in corporate training and leadership development.