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That s not my job!

2014-12-08 07:50:00

Elizabeth Garone

If a boss asks you to do something that is not in your job description once,

you might feel you have no choice but to do it.

Inappropriate bosses are everywhere. Janet Scarborough Civitelli

A one-off request, perhaps you do as a favour, not even giving it a second

thought. But what if it becomes a pattern? One day, it s an emergency dry

cleaning drop-off, the next it s picking up his kids at soccer or taking out

the rubbish. At what point are such requests inappropriate?

The problem with these favours, sadly, is that often they aren t isolated. If

a boss does this, it is likely [he or she] will violate professional boundaries

in other ways as well, so this probably isn't the only challenge you'll have in

this job, wrote Janet Scarborough Civitelli, an Austin, Texas-based workplace

psychologist and career coach, in an email.

Putting it into context

How do you decide whether something is OK?

Context is everything, said Philadelphia-based talent management consultant

Mary Schaefer in an email. It depends on your relationship and the pattern of

behaviour so far. First, do you want to do it? Second, does it appear your boss

has no other choice than to ask you? Third, what are the probable consequences

for you if you don't?

Where to draw the line

Don t think this is a problem of just certain companies. It s an issue at both

large and small firms, according to Scarborough Civitelli. Inappropriate

bosses are everywhere, she said.

It s crucial to establish boundaries and draw the line early on. Scarborough

Civitelli suggested saying something along the lines of: "I want to be helpful,

but I think we may have different expectations...Can we please discuss it so

that we can get in sync about what my job entails?"

Would you shine shoes for your boss? (Manuel-F-O/Thinkstock)

The more you can keep the conversation friendly and unemotional, the better it

should go. Either you'll arrive at a mutually agreeable decision or you will

find out that this job requires something that makes you uncomfortable and then

you'll have to weigh the pros and cons of seeking other employment,

Scarborough Civitelli said.

Offering up plan B

You can draw the line wherever you want, said Schaefer. If you don't want to

do [something], and you think you would lose your job if you say no, but you

are not ready to leave, you have a decision to make. [You] might agree in the

moment, follow through, and then strategise as to how to follow up so it

doesn't happen again.

If your supervisor is a reasonable person, you might offer to brainstorm

alternatives or even help them make other arrangements, suggested Schaefer who

is a firm advocate of discussing expectations no matter how trivial or

unusual they may seem early on while the relationship is amiable and stable,

and there is no current hot topic.

In many cases, bosses may not even realise that they have overstepped their

boundaries. Dr Lorraine Tilbury, founder of personal and professional

development firm HorsePower International based in France s Loire Valley, said

that one time her husband asked the woman who they had employed to clean their

house to shine his shoes. The woman refused and explained to him that she was a

cleaning lady, not a servant.

He had no idea that she would react that way to his request, said Tilbury.

But he understood and never asked her again to do it. Very often the requestor

doesn't even realise that they've crossed a boundary until you tell them.

Included in any discussion should be your job description. If the boss is iffy

about that, draw it out of them, said Schaefer. Ask questions like: What did

the person in this role before me do? What did they do that you want to make

sure is continued? And, what is one thing you would change about this job now

that there is a new person in it?

A paper trail

But don t stop there. Draft up a paragraph based on your discussion. Send it

via email, and include a note: "Here is how I would summarise what I heard

about what you expect of my role. If there is anything I didn't represent

accurately or left out, please let me know, said Schaefer.

Do job responsibilities go as far as doing the laundry for your boss? (Lisa

Blue/Getty)

Do job responsibilities go as far as doing the laundry for your boss? (Lisa

Blue/Getty)

By documenting it, you ll have it to refer back to if you ever need it.

Reasonable humans hate to contradict themselves, she said. Plus, said

Schaefer, it can really reinforce your point. When I was a human resources

manager, it was amazing to me how often employees would not hear feedback

about performance until they saw it on paper, she said. It s something

about how the brain works, and it works equally well when you are trying to get

on the same page with your supervisor.

Getting nowhere

If your boss continues to be unresponsive, it could be worth it to get a second

opinion from someone you trust, suggested Schaefer. You don't have to tell the

whole story, but perhaps engage a boss you respected in the past who can give

you guidance as when to escalate, she said.

If your concerns continue to fall on deaf ears with your current boss and you

keep getting outlandish requests, then going to your human resources department

might be your next option. Just make sure to keep your documentation handy,

said Schaefer.

Regional differences

In some countries, boundaries are not so cut and dry, especially with

family-owned and smaller businesses. [In Asia] sometimes going above and

beyond what you were hired to do can be the norm, said Steven Yeong, a

recruiter coach at Hof Consulting in Singapore, in an email. Often, the

marketing or sales directors may have to pick up the boss s kids from soccer

practice, he said. It can quite hard for the subordinate to say no to her

superior even with lots of diplomacy and a soft-soft approach.

In these cases, Yeong has seen many employees quit rather than approach their

bosses.

Walking your boss' pooch can be a dog's life (Fuse/Thinkstock)

But in France, boundaries tend to be clearer with the introduction of the

35-hour work week a decade and a half ago. [It] has obliged small business

owners to ensure that their employees paid by the hour do focus primarily on

their direct job responsibilities in order to avoid excessive overtime hours,

said Tilbury. It s not that unusual requests don t happen; it is just easier to

turn them down.

Choosing the right path

It s important to trust your instincts, said Tilbury. If something doesn t feel

right, then it probably isn t. Once you determine the boundary that needs to

be re-instated, communicate constructively and as quickly as you can what your

boundary is to the person involved, she said. Waiting to discuss it will

increase your level of frustration and anger, and that can lead to an

unconstructive explosion in the long run. That's why it's important to

communicate it as quickly as you can.