💾 Archived View for bugleague.flounder.online › Skyrim.gmi captured on 2023-06-16 at 16:17:06. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2023-05-24)
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I’m playing Skyrim in my mind.
I’m sitting at the computer doing homework.
But in my mind I’m playing Skyrim.
I’m riding on the wagon.
Ralof is saying.
Hey you
You’re finally awake
You were trying to cross the border
Same as us
And that horse thief over there
We’re arriving at helgen.
General tullius is talking to the thalmor.
Ralof says something racist.
Then he tells me about how he used to be sweet on a girl from here.
Mister horse thief is running away.
Captain Renault shouts
ARCHERS
and he falls
What a fool.
He does this every time.
Now it’s hadvar time.
He says
You’re not on the list.
Who. Are you.
I’m spending 3 hours creating a character for each race and each gender.
This time I’m going to choose.
Hmmm.
Orc.
It’s orc time.
Hadvar asks
Captain what should we do
He’s not on the list
He goes to the block
Same as the others
Tullius goes on his rant
Blah blah blah
Boring
They pull the first guy up
He says his awesome line
My ancestors are smiling at me imperials, can you say the same?
Then they chop his damn head off.
My turn.
I pretend i don’t know what comes next.
Looking up at the executioner.
He lifts the axe.
Then we hear it.
The roar of Alduin.
The executioner stumbles
When the dragon lands on the tower.
Then there’s a weird graphical glitch
As all of the models switch
To being blown up by dragon fire.
I run to the watchtower.
Where my sweet boy ralof waves me in.
Ulfric is there but he says nothing consequential.
This segment plays out according to the script.
I walk up the steps.
Alduin pokes his head in and sets that guy on fire.
I jump down into the house.
Hadvar waves the child out of the way.
Then he’s like.
Bro stick with me.
And we straddle the wall while Alduin passes overhead.
We round the corner and it’s
Decision time.
Ralof and Hadvar both look at me
With sad sad puppy eyes
They say will you be my friend
Will you love me please please
Come with me and be my friend
This time I’m going with Ralof
Because i distrust the empire
They just tried to chop off my head after all