💾 Archived View for mothbaby.flounder.online › poems.gmi captured on 2023-06-16 at 16:01:12. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2023-06-14)
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i'm playing bubbleshooter in the kitchen
while you get ready for work
and im so glad i quit my job
and we got married
and can afford to live on one income
due to the large insurance settlement
after the incident
i have all four of our chickens on leashes
and we walk to the park
and people stare at me and my four chickens
but they just bock
im wearing five inch platform boots
and a cape
im sweating but happy
and the chickens are scared of all the dogs
but they like meeting new people
i go home to play more bubbleshooter
and i never win
but thats okay
it feels like it will never happen
but one day it will come
the years go by
23, 24, 25,
and one day
ill become
older than jesus ever was
34 years young
reading Karly Hartzmann talk about how she finally just says what she's been wanting to say in her new album, im listening obsessively on repeat to her words so familiar and heart wrenching
anyway im saying here's the stuff i've just been wanting to say. so fair warning sappy and grateful words ahead
im happy and full. sitting in our bed after a busy day. you're re-writing songs you wrote years ago. im eating our easter candy from your mom's house, where you and the kids played wiffleball in the yard & i sat on the sidelines laughing with the grandparents and great aunts and uncles. they tell stories of playing ball at the local field when they were pregnant with the moms of the kids playing now. and the moms talk about how they loved that field but it got shut down for letting them drink at 19.
im at my parents house watching old videos from tapes my Dad could never get to play before. everyone is laughing at little me and my brothers playing and screaming and falling down and im doing my best to hold back my tears. the girl in the poorly drawn cat mask, i wish she could know the goodness that's in store. looking at photographs of friends who've been in all my photographs for the last few years. im lucky to go through seasons and reflect and look ahead with loving people there every step. there's so much sweetness and everything is alive all around us.
in the Big Rock Candy Mountain
5.5 is just enough
there is an abundance
of rock and candy and sugar
no one wants for more
in the Big Rock Candy Mountain
your daddy is supportive and sweet
sweet as sugar, your daddy
his love without conditions
rock candy from your sugar daddy
he is respectful of your boundaries
but he gets off
on giving you candy
and you really like candy plus
5.5 is more than enough
on the Big Rock Candy Mountain
im storing my trauma in my back
that's where i decided to put it
to keep it organized and in one spot
im paying my electric bill without crying
im buying skate shoes from a drop shipping company
im studying for the show by listening to the music beforehand
im taking all the trees
and putting them in a tree museum
im making the same joke 100 times
it keeps getting funnier and no one
ever gets tired of it
im getting a USPS notification that the sex toy i ordered was delivered
they promised that the shipping is "discreet"
the package is from "containers company"
how can a dildo be a container
i thought it was the opposite
im writing this as a joke
im saying funny things
to make people laugh
everyone loves jokes
and laughing even more
im creating one big collective laugh
the laugh to end all laughs
knock knock
who's there
the joke guy
the joke guy who?
the guy who made a joke so funny that everyone laughed
the end
post jeans nap delusion
i wake up from my afternoon jeans nap in a what day is it confusion
listening to the kids play basketball in the street
my cat leeched around my body like a semi-permanent accessory
warm and buzzing
twitching in and out of dreams
my mind swims in the amalgam of other people's words fed to me by my pocket computer
i cannot settle the river rifts pulsing through my body
twitch and buzz and sand packed in my lungs
worrying about the slow daunting power of erosion
sudden jagged edges
smooth marble floor
who decided the rocks needed to change?
death and beginning
life and ending
the atomic makeup of skin
touching, holding
we're all born of the same crack in the ground
I inhale our shared gaze and exhale suffering
can we reverse individuation?
to walk here with you
surrounded by the sounds of the sun
to witness the waking of the earth
the constant flux between
entanglement and reorganization
your thoughts and mine stem from the same seed
destroy the illusion of ownership
return to the harmonic cycles
find your voice in the symphonies of nature
we need you here to complete the song
my heart as glass blown
nestled in the depths of your corduroy pants pocket
hyper conscious of the height from hip to floor
from warmth to the cold vulnerability
of being in shards
i'd prefer to drift aimless, formless
slave to the whistling lips of the wind
would you rather be drawn by a stick in the mud?
formed from clay between a childs dirty palms
the creation of a lovely figurine
sitting motionless on your work desk
gazing up at you
blending in with the mundanity
what would happen if you smashed it?
dried and meticulously smoothed matter
shattered at your feet
would you feel better, lighter?
im at a loss when the across the street neighbor
turns out the light
paralyzed in the midst of dance
there is beauty in stillness
there is beauty in stillness
if you remind me again i might even believe it
I haven't heard your voice in weeks
im buckled at the knees
late summer sun melt me into the asphalt street
roll the window down please for me
or i might forget to listen
the evergreens rustle, wind and birds whistle
her voice fills me and our spirits dance
forever in the thin air
im coming in and out
of consciousness all the time
life is a waking dream
sleep is the illusion of solace
i want to be squished
in between the walls of perception
molecular confetti raining down
between blades of grass
I tell myself secrets in the awake hours
I think what I'm trying to figure out is
how to be
laying naked on a smooth rock in the sun
heat can be the mediator
between my body and the Everything Else
I'm trying to melt
abolish the walls in between
in the dream hours
I am the mess of consciousness
in the most perfect way
the birds in my pillow speak ancient words at me
I simply stare out over their heads
and watch the sun look down