💾 Archived View for cowscanjump.flounder.online › journal.gmi captured on 2023-06-16 at 16:00:07. Gemini links have been rewritten to link to archived content
⬅️ Previous capture (2023-06-14)
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12/6/2022
Influences: Children's Miscellany by Matthew Morgan (borrowed from a Los Angeles public library as a child in the third grade, was my white whale for many years and now I finally remember)
12/7/2022
My favorites: Miscellaneous/Miscellany (word category)
12/8/2022
I can't take more than one drink, especially if that one drink is an 8 oz glass of stout. Do you ever feel like you will only have one chance at love?
12/13/2022
Was talked down to and accused of theft and lying by a roommate. I've never been talked to like that before. I spent the night at my friend's house that day. Confusion and sadness.
12/16/2022
Put on candy banana yellow nail polish (called "I just can't cope-acabana") and went to a Christmas potluck.
12/19/2022
Did yoga moves for my aching wrists on the floor of my workplace at 7 in the morning. I may have carpal tunnel because I type too much.
12/22/2022
My mom asked me for life advice. What an odd feeling.
1/3/2023
Met up with an old friend from high school who recently worked as a salmon researcher for the Fish and Wildlife department in a rural part of the state. She invited me to spend time with her in the area in the future. Said it was an ugly town and that I'd like it.
"Why do you think I'd like an ugly town?" I ask.
"You seem like the type of person to appreciate the ugly things in life." She says.
1/27/2023
Rode a water taxi for the first time.
2/1/2023
I quit weed. I'm not gonna be puritanical about it, but after having a terrible weed-fueled January I've come to the conclusion that I just have too much of an addictive personality.
2/3/2023
Went on a long walk with a friend in the pummeling rain. She told me a story about the time she got arrested. We talked a little bit about our experiences with dating apps. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship but would like to see someone casually. "Maybe you can see me casually. I need someone to practice the bare minimum of intimacy on, cause sometimes I feel like I really don't know," I thought to myself, completely stone-faced. I'll most likely continue to keep this thought to myself.
2/17/2023
Went to the dentist for the first time in years. I'm happy to report I don't have any cavities.
2/24/2023
Some friends convinced me to go to a comedy show where a bunch of drag queens played Dungeons and Dragons. I'm happy to report that I laughed a few times.
2/25/2023
Went to an old high school friend's birthday party. Passed by the old apartment complex I used to live in as a high schooler on the way to the escape room she'd booked. Felt kinda happy-sad. I'm much more interesting and full of ideas now, but a lot less cute and productive. That's life. Ate some linguini.
2/27/2023
Starting to think that I've gotten a lot wittier after upping my anxiety meds. Made five people laugh today.
2/28/2023
"Dull Knives" would be a great name for an irreverent cooking show, I think.
4/7/2023
Downloaded a dating app then immediately felt self-conscious about it.
Trying to get out of my religious trauma based fears on dating. Ha ha
4/8/2023
Saw a concert for free through work.
4/12/2023
Wore my ripped pants to work. It made me feel very self-conscious. All of my pants except for one are ripped, so I've just been wearing the same pair of pants everyday for like a month and a half. I know, that's disgusting. Today I bought a new pair of pants. The pants are a 90s style pleated pant. Celebrating the little victories.
4/20/2023
Went on my first non-ironic date. I was immediately struck by this person. This person made me feel like I'd never felt before. It made me feel immediately weary. It made me feel dreadfully hopeful. Is that a good thing? Is that a bad thing? Why do I feel so terrible? It means I'm alive though. Here's to being a late bloomer.
4/22/2023
Cried at the bus stop.
4/27/2023
My psychiatrist told me on her last call (she's moving states) that I had grown so much over the past two years. Yeah, I'm stronger than before. More vulnerable and prone to getting hurt than before, but still stronger. Went to a bookstore and bought a book of prayers by women that featured an odd cast: Sappho, St. Catherine of Siena, Marianne Williamson??
4/28/2023
Finished writing a play that I'd been working on since 2018!!! Then ate the weirdest pizza I ever had in my life (Little Caesar's Pretzel Crust Pizza).
5/4/2023
Ran around a skate park, pretending to do "parkour." Immediately became really long-winded and indigested. Man, I really wanna become stronger. This is ridiculous. Some children saw me making a fool of myself and started doing the same thing. I'm very influential in that way.
5/11/2023
Friends and I won third place in trivia. Our team name was (The Pussies), and the trivia announcer had to read out our team name each time she announced the scores between rounds.
5/14/2023
Had an oddly long conversation about death with a morbid goth musician online.
5/27/2023
Tested positive for covid.