💾 Archived View for spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › zodiac.hum captured on 2023-06-14 at 17:21:25.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
CAPRICORN (DEC22-JAN20) YOU ARE CONSSERVATIVE AND AFRAID OF TAKING RISKS. YOU ARE BASICALLY CHICKEN SHIT. THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A CAPRICORN OF ANY IMPORTANTANCE. YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF! AQUARIUS (JAN21-FEB18) YOU HAVE AN INVENTIVE MIND AND ARE INCLINED TO BE PROGRESSIVE. YOU LIE A GREAT DEAL. ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU ARE INCLINED TO BE CARELESS AND IMPRACTICAL CAUSING YOU TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES REPEATEDLY. EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE A FUCKING JERK. PISCES (FEB19-MAR20) YOU HAVE A VIVID IMAGINATION AND OFTEN THINK YOUR BEING FOLLOWED BY THE F.B.I. OR THE C.I.A. YOU HAVE A MINOR INFLUENCE OVER YOUR FRIENDS AND PEOPLE RESENT YOU FOR FLAUNTING YOUR POWER. YOU LACK CONFI- DENCE AND ARE GENERALLY A COWARD. PISCES PEOPLE SCREW SMALL ANIMALS AND PICK THEIR NOSES ALOT. ARIES (MAR21-APRIL19) YOU ARE THE PIONEER TYPE AND HOLD MOST PEOPLE IN CONTEMPT. YOU ARE QUICK TEMPERED, IMPATIENT, AND SCORNFUL OF ADVICE. YOU ARE A PRICK. TAURUS (APRIL20-MAY20) YOU ARE PRACTICAL AND PERSISTANT. YOU HAVE A DOGGED DETERMINATION AND WORK LIKE HELL. MOST PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE STUBBORN AND BULLHEADED. YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A DAMN COMMUNIST! GEMINI(MAY21-JUN20) YOU ARE A QUICK AND INTELLIGENT THINKER. PEOPLE LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE BISEXUAL. HOWEVER, YOU ARE INCLINED TO EXPECT TOO MUCH FOR TOO LITTLE. THIS MEANS YOU ARE A CHEAP BASTARD. GEMINIS ARE NOTED FOR THRIVING ON INCEST! CANCER (JAN21-JUL22) YOU ARE SYMPATHETIC AND UNDERSTANDING TO OTHER PEOPLES PROBLEMS. THEY THINK YOU ARE A SUCKER. YOU ARE ALWAYS PUTTING THINGS OFF. THIS IS WHY YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ON WELFARE AND NEVER BE WORTH A SHIT! LEO (JULY23-AUG22) YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A BORN LEADER. OTHERS THINK YOU ARE PUSHY. MOST LEOS ARE BULLYS. YOU ARE VAIN AND CAN NOT TOLERATE HONEST CRITICISM. YOUR ARROGANCE IS DISGUS TING. LEO PEOPLE ARE THEIVING BASTARDS AND KISS MIRRORS ALOT. VIRGO (AUG23-SEPT22) YOU ARE THE LOGICAL TYPE AND HATE DISORDER. THE NIT PICKING IS SICKENING TO YOUR FRIENDS. YOU ARE COLD AND UNEMOTIONAL AND OFTEN FALL ASLEEP WHILE SCREWING. VIRGOS MAKE GOOD BUS DRIVERS OF PIMPS. LIBRA (SEPT23-OCT22) YOU ARE THE ARTISTIC TYPE AND HAVE A DIFFICULT TIME WITH REALITY. IF YOU ARE A MALE, YOUR PROBABLY QUEER. CHANCES FOR EMPLOYMENT AND MONETARY GAIN ARE EXCELLENT MOST LIBRA WOMEN ARE WHORES. ALL LIBRAS DIE OF VENEREAL DISEASE. SCORPIO (OCT23-NOV21) YOU ARE SHREWD IN BUSINESS AND CANNOT BE TRUSTED. YOU SHALL ACHIEVE THE PINNACLE OF SUCESS BECAUSE OF YOUR TOTAL LACK OF ETHICS. YOU ARE A PERFECT SON-OF-A-BITCH MOST SCORPIOS ARE MURDERED! SAGITTARIUS (NOV22- YOU ARE OPTIMISTIC AND ENTHUSIASTIC. YOU HAVE A RECK DEC21) LESS TENDANCY TO RELY ON GOOD LOOKS SINCE YOU HAVE NO TALENT. THE MAJORITY OF SAGITTARIANS ARE DRUNKS OR POTHEAD. PEOPLE LAUGH AT YOU ALOT BECAUSE YOU ARE ALWAY GETTING FUCKED! Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open