💾 Archived View for spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › penisprt.txt captured on 2023-06-14 at 17:15:24.
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"WOMAN CLIPS OFF SLEEPING HUSBANDS PENIS, THROWS
IT FROM MOVING CAR"
..... Don't laugh!!!! It could happen to you!!!
Right now, thousands of agitated, irate women have read that headline and
are contemplating that course of action the next time their men make
unwanted sexual advances, look at them the wrong way, or just generally
piss them off. That is, not to mention the hazards of PMS.
MEN!! PROTECT YOURSELF RIGHT NOW!!!!!
If you find yourself the victim of the "CLIP AND FLIP SYNDROME," could you
be sure that the appropriate authorities would find your dismembered member
in time and intact? Could you also be certain that the penis part they
re-attach is your own?
Our new low cost PENIS PROTECTION PLAN will give you peace of mind. We'll
register and tattoo your penis and scrotum with their own unique
registration numbers. In case of separation, you're insured a perfect
match every time.
For just a bit more, you can be ahead of the game and guarantee accurate
replacement by choosing our JURASSIC PRICK PLAN. One cell sample from your
penis allows us to clone replacement parts in the event that your manhood is
run over by a tractor trailer, falls into a storm drain or is destroyed by
local fauna.
DON'T GET CAUGHT SHORT! SIGN UP NOW!
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Clip this coupon and mail to: JURASSIC PRICK
444 Short Arm Drive
Mannessas, VA 22110
Or call 1-800-AAARGH
Name: ______________________________ Phone: (____)_____________________
Address: ________________________________________________________________
City: ________________________ State: ___________ Zip: _____________
Measurements: Flaccid: ______________ Erect: _______________
CHECK ONE: _____ Penis Protection Plan ($89.99)
_____ Jurassic Prick Program ($119.95)
OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY. CALL NOW AND RECEIVE A SET OF GINZZU KNIVES OR
A RONK-O CHOP-A-MATIC FREE WITH YOUR ORDER. MAJOR CREDIT CARDS GLADLY
ACCEPTED. OFFER NOT VALID IN SOME STATES.