💾 Archived View for spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › humor › godmonth.txt captured on 2023-06-14 at 17:10:39.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Nan....Isis....Blog....Grandmother-Spider....Jehovah....Bob....Lugh.... : ?? : : ???? : E ???? O r ?? d i ?? i s n : FRIENDS, "How do you stand with the Lord?" : : "what do you mean, `which one?' ?!" : C For those of you who are unsure about your current faith or H o belief system, we offer a viable alternative. We would like u y to introduce the newest breakthrough in contemporary religion | o b t THE GOD OF THE MONTH CLUB a a r : Included in this fantastic offer: Each month you will receive d : complete rituals of the current God &/or Goddess of the month : A including what (or whom) to sacrifice. (All monetary sacrifices : l should be sent to our Board of Directors.) H l e a Yes--we are looking for people who like to prey. READ ON. c h a : Each monthly package will include: 1. A lavishly illustrated t : booklet of appropriate prayers and rituals. 2. Necessary tools e M and instructions for all prayers and rituals. 3. Where needed : a plastic injected graven images are also included. : m S m "But what will all this cost?" mere pennies! and we guarantee h o results! are you worried about tithing to the wrong faith? a n with God of the Month Club, you'll cover them all! Be in good n : with ALL deities! Any you can't manage for yourself--(for a small g : extra fee.) our certified and bonded professionals will do your | B praying for you. (if you should end up in Hell or some other T r such region, merely send us a postcard,[sorry, no channeling] and i i we will cheerfully refund ALL of your money back. : g REMEMBER: The God of the Month Club will bring variety to your : i life, Celibacy one month, Orgies the next...A chance to travel D t to sacred shrines...companionship with like-minded members...AND a : Free Deprogramming!!!!! g : o : DON'T DELAY! CALL TODAY! n : : The Great Carrot....Cthulhu....Quetzalcoatl....Joseph Smith....Kali...: